Saratoga Summer
by Syrinx
Summary: At Belmont Park in New York, Cindy has found the first glimpses of success. This summer she has decided to go to Saratoga and work alongside David Hernon, who may help Cindy come to a revelation. Cindy/OC angst. Sequel to Star Quality.
1. Chapter 1

Saratoga Summer  
by Syrinx  
Summary: At Belmont Park in New York, Cindy has found the first glimpses of success. This summer she has decided to go to Saratoga and work alongside David Hernon, who may help Cindy come to a revelation.  
Disclaimer: All rights to the Thoroughbred series belong to Joanna Campbell and Harper Collins.  
A/N: Sequel to Star Quality.

1.

The parking lot was mostly empty on a relatively quiet Sunday afternoon. The sky was a deep shade of blue and the sun was rising higher in the sky, shining down its baking rays on the simmering blacktop of the lot. It was the first week of July, and that meant that the humidity could only rise to a new level of mercilessness.

Cindy McLean sat in the driver's seat of the Jaguar, wondering why on earth she had insisted that she do this. The car was an old model, worn and looked after with meticulous care. It was black, so the heat soaked into its metal body, warming Cindy even when she was trembling.

She had already learned to start the ignition, and the large engine within the black beast was rumbling, sucking down the unleaded gasoline that cost nearly two dollars a gallon. Her left foot was pressed hard on the clutch and her right was keeping the Jaguar reined in.

"I don't know about this," Cindy said truthfully as Jack sat as relaxed as he could be in the passenger seat, looking out the windshield as if he didn't have a care in the world.

"You'll be fine, Cin," he said, grabbing her hand and putting it firmly on the stick of metal and wood that connected to the manual transmission. "Just grab the stick and go."

Cindy glared at him out of the corner of her eye. "Why must you make everything sound like an innuendo?" She asked, hiding her smile.

"Because it would be no fun if I didn't," he replied and she nodded. It really wouldn't be Jack next to her in his car as he taught her the tricky complexities of the stick shift if he didn't toss meaningless jokes her way.

"You remember what to do?" he asked.

"First gear, right?" Cindy asked, pointing to where the stick was going to go when she was to start progressing forward.

"Right," he said. "Keep the clutch in when you're shifting and your foot off the gas. When you put your foot back on the gas again, slowly lift off on the clutch."

Cindy nodded robotically as she gripped the steering wheel with one hand and the stick shift with the other, wishing it wasn't so hot out. Carefully, she put her foot on the gas and pulled off the clutch.

The car jerked forward and died.

"What did I do?"" Cindy asked frantically, after Jack told her to restart the car.

"Not enough gas," he simply answered.

"That means nothing to me, Jack," she pointed out to him.

"More gas, less clutch," he said. "In other words, peel out if you have to."

Cindy winced, remembering all the immature high school students squealing their tires in the parking lot of school back home. She had always considered herself above the fun of peeling out of parking lots and leaving plumes of smoke.

"Okay," she said slowly, trying it again. The Jaguar roared and jerked forward, rattling Cindy enough to make her nearly panic before she realized the car was continuing forward. Dimly she heard Jack telling her to shift to second.

It took her a long time to figure out second gear.

"It's easy," he said, making her stop and start several times before she finally got the car going without a jerk and a slight squeal of the tires. They rounded the parking lot several times in second and finally graduating to third and downshifting to second whenever Cindy had to turn. She found that Jack would yell at her if she took turns in third gear.

After they had stopped again, Cindy was a shaking mess and didn't know exactly why.

"How do you drive this thing?" Cindy asked, her left foot shaking as she kept the clutch pressed all the way down while she tried to go into first again, the car jerking once more. "It's making me a nervous wreck."

Jack only shrugged. "It's fun to play with," he said, smiling.

"Well, I will definitely not be buying a stick shift," Cindy said, finally stopping the Jaguar in a parking space and killing the engine, Jack tell instructing her to leave the car in first so it wouldn't roll away.

"Oh, come on, Cin," Jack chuckled as they switched places, Cindy sitting in a heap of nerves in the passenger seat. "You were doing pretty well."

"Right," Cindy laughed, shaking her head. "This has convinced me. Automatics will be my mode of transportation, even if they do cost more."

"So this has convinced you?" Jack asked, turning on the car and pulling forward smoothly and without so much as a hesitant stall from the engine.

"Definitely," Cindy nodded.

"Pitiful," Jack shook his head and Cindy hit his shoulder as they pulled out of the parking lot.

It had been two years since Cindy had given up the dead truck she had used to move to New York. Since that time she had managed to go completely without a car, but as of late she found that not having one was sometimes irritating since she had to bounce to Brooklyn and Belmont each day. Finally she had decided to put her well-earned money toward her first big purchase and replace her long absent truck. She was looking for something sleek and fitting for the young jockey she had become.

She thought an Audi would fit her perfectly.

"You seriously thought I was doing pretty well?" Cindy asked as they drove down the street, heading back to Belmont Park.

"Good enough for your first try," Jack informed her. "Next time we'll have you going up hills and braving traffic."

"I will not be doing any of that," Cindy admonished, shaking her head. "Not if you want me to kill your transmission."

"Okay, I retract that statement," Jack smiled goofily at her and she grinned, turning to the lowered window to feel the humid air breeze through her thick blond hair.

The heat was almost stifling, and she found it hard to breathe when the hot air hit her in the face. She took two big gulps before looking away and pulling her hair into a high ponytail to get it off her neck. It hadn't been this humid in nearly two years.

Back then Cindy had just started to hit her early strides as a young jockey, riding Lucas' ill reputed Bosta in the Acorn Stakes. The dark bay filly had faced down champions that day and won, coming back to the grandstand soaked in sweat but dancing on her toes. That was the day Cindy had been looked upon as something with potential in the world of racing.

Since then Cindy had found an agent and ridden other horses in other races. She was becoming well known in the big tracks as a choice to consider. She got the job done, and she was a good rider. She had never been suspended or reprimanded; she had a clean record. She was something to look at no matter what trainers thought of female jockeys.

She had ridden Bosta to a second place finish in the Distaff before getting her across the wire first in the same race the next year. She had jockeyed Chasing Rubies to a win in the Kentucky Oaks, and had ridden the juvenile champion, High Roller, in the Kentucky Derby. While she had not come close to winning the greatest race in the nation, she was still successful elsewhere, winning with horses in several big stakes events across the nation. Cindy was getting used to the idea of flying everywhere and all the time.

Belmont Park, however, was still her home track and held all her loyalty. Lucas Simm was still her main employer, and she still exercised his horses alongside his other riders. So far the effects of success had not stained Cindy. It was all too new to let her newfound place in the world go to her head.

Jack steered the Jaguar down the main road and up through the gates of Belmont, kicking up a heavy stream of dust from the gravel as they were waved through. They passed by large horse vans loading up the stakes competitors that had been staying through the summer session. With Belmont ending its May through July racing, horses would be shipping north to Saratoga, when the oldest track on the east coast opened its doors for the late summer session.

Cindy thought nothing of it. She had seen it go that way for nearly three years now, and she was accustomed to the constant coming and going. They would all be back come September, when Belmont opened up again for fall racing leading to the Breeders' Cup. They passed by without Cindy giving them a second glance. It was only when they pulled up to barn 41 and saw the smaller horse van parked in front that she sat up in the seat.

"What's going on?" Cindy asked Jack as he pulled carefully up to the van and parked, shutting off the rumbling engine. "I didn't think Lucas was shipping his strings out until next week."

"He's not shipping anyone out today," Jack informed her, opening the door and stepping out as Cindy did, shading her eyes with her hand to get a better look at the van. It was a plain white vehicle like many others.

"Then what's up?" Cindy asked, slamming the car door shut.

"New horse," Jack said casually, and Cindy smiled.

"Who is it?" she asked, walking behind Jack as they made their way into the stable. The aisle was empty.

"Lucas hasn't told me much," Jack said cryptically. "Three-year-old son of Two Punch, out of a Lit de Justice mare."

"Come on," Cindy insisted, knowing when Jack was playing his games. "You know more than that."

"Maybe," Jack shrugged. "Maybe not."

Cindy arched an eyebrow and walked up to Lucas' office, where he was busy filling out paper work for a man waiting nearby.

"There," Lucas said. "Transfer complete."

"Thank you," the unknown man nodded and brushed past Cindy on his way out of the office. Soon after Cindy could hear the van's engine rumble alive and the crunch of tires outside.

"What's up?" Jack asked, sliding past Cindy in the door.

"Got that colt," Lucas nodded. "Looks like he traveled well, too. We'll give him a few days before starting him up under Cindy."

"Who is it?" Cindy asked, wondering whom this colt was that she would be riding.

"Got a transferred colt from another barn at Santa Anita," Lucas explained, fixing something on his messy desk before taking Cindy and Jack out into the aisle. "His owners were upset with the colt's management in California, so they pulled him from his trainer and sent him up here."

Lucas led the way down the dim aisle and stopped just in front of a stall. "He won a few good sprints out west before coming down with this strange fungus on his coat and feet. That took a few months to clear up, and the colt didn't bounce back as well as the owners liked. So now I've got him."

Cindy looked into the stall and saw a stocky dark gray colt staring back at her, flicking his ears and huffing to catch her scent. His body was dark and covered with circular light marks, making him look like a blizzard during the night. He was well made, Cindy noticed, even in the dark.

"Nice," she said, stepping back as the colt took a few brave steps up to the door and hung his head over the guard, pricking his ears at his visitors. Cindy rubbed her hand along the softness of the colt's muzzle and smiled into the horse's dark brown eyes. He had sweetness about him that she could already see. She smiled and patted his hard neck affectionately.

"His name is Sunday Punch," Lucas said, writing the name down on a piece of masking tape and tearing the beige strip from the roll to stick it to the stall.

"Where's he going?" Jack asked, watching Cindy tickle the agreeable colt's chin. The gray lipped at her fingers and tossed his head energetically, stamping a hoof into his thick bedding.

"I'm thinking of sending him to Saratoga for those two big sprint events up there," Lucas replied. "And I've already talked to his owners about a jockey. They'd like to try Cindy out on him for his first start."

Automatically Cindy blushed. It was going to take a long time to realize that someone actually wanted her to ride their horse. After her experiences at Whitebrook, Dubai, and the rest of the tracks nationwide she felt she had every right to wonder about this new phenomenon.

"Who will be overseeing his training?" Jack asked, and Cindy was blissfully unaware. She was too busy crooning to the colt, who was flicking his ears rapidly at her strange sounds.

"Hernon," Lucas said simply, and Cindy completely missed Jack's clenching jaw.

"Hernon?" Jack asked, and Lucas held up a hand.

"Don't say it, Jack," Lucas started. "I know you and David have some misgivings, but I'm not sending you up there. I'm going to need you down here while the sales start, and you know that perfectly well. Hernon is capable. He wouldn't be my man in Saratoga if he wasn't."

At the mention of the name, Cindy was suddenly paying attention. She knew the name and she had met the man a few times at special events. David Hernon was Lucas' assistant trainer at Saratoga, and although Cindy hadn't seen him in years she could still remember his attention to her and Jack's disapproving glare.

"He'll be training at Saratoga all through the summer?" Jack asked, his dark blue eyes dimmer than usual. It looked to Cindy as if a storm cloud was growing.

"That's the idea, yes," Lucas nodded. "And I'd like Cindy up there as well to take him out. David's short an exercise rider this summer as it is. One of his girls is pregnant and on leave."

Jack snorted and Lucas gave him a warning glance.

"Stop, Jack," Lucas said.

"Yeah," Jack sighed, and nodded.

"You have a place to stay in Saratoga?" Lucas asked Cindy, and she nodded. She could always ask her parents if she could borrow the summerhouse they had bought years ago. She already knew they would be out in California this summer with Adriatic, Fleet Goddess' four-year-old son who would soon be prepping for the Breeders' Cup. Saratoga wasn't on their list this year.

Cindy nodded and looked over at Jack, who still didn't seem too pleased about the situation.

"Good,"" Lucas nodded. "I want you out there by next week and prepping for the Amsterdam. David knows about the plans already."

"Right," Jack sighed, running both hands through his hair. "But I want to ship him up there."

"I can get someone else to do that, Jack," Lucas said, looking surprised for once.

"No, I want to do it," Jack said, staring at the colt and Cindy hard enough to make Cindy's skin bristle. She shook away the feeling and almost smiled. She hadn't seen Jack that frustrated since he had broken up with Audrey Sutherland. It almost made her feel special.

"Have it your way," Lucas said, holding up his hands in surrender. "We'll ship him out next week," he added, just before turning and walking back to his office, shaking his head at Jack's vehement insistence. Cindy had to admit that she had never seen Jack push his will in such a way. He was normally mild and easy going about things. This show of his had suddenly made her wary.

"Jack," she said slowly, her hand still on Sunday Punch's forehead. The gray eyed them both and snorted before retreating into his stall. Cindy let her hand drop.

"Sorry," he said, forcing a smile at her. "But I don't think I need to explain myself to you."

Cindy snorted. Like she was supposed to just guess why Jack didn't want her spending time with the one man that he mysteriously never respected. Ever since he had broken up with Audrey their relationship was more of a strained friendship. She was always on guard and he was always on guard. The only way they broke down the barriers between them was through jokes and play. It was no wonder several rumors had been circulating through the backside about their status. Cindy had overheard several colorful stories, and would have gotten a good laugh out of them if they hadn't bordered on a very real possibility.

Nevertheless, Cindy gave Jack a wayside glance before looking into the stall.

"I'll be fine, Jack," Cindy said casually, chirping to the gray colt, who flicked his ears at her and ambled up to the stall guard again to have his forehead scratched. She could already tell he was going to be an easy one.

"I know you will be," Jack said, looking like all the fight had left his body. He was just Jack now, not the strange creature she had just witnessed.

"Are you all done playing Mr. Macho?" Cindy asked, raising an eyebrow and smiling at him over her shoulder.

"Mr. Macho?" Jack asked, laughing. "Never, Cin."


	2. Chapter 2

2.

Cindy sighed and squinted out at the hot sun already heating mid-morning of New York. It was only ten o'clock and already Cindy was down to her white tank top and wishing she could shed her bulky flak jacket. She had been on the track since six that morning, and four hours later she was covered in dirt and perspiration. Already she had been thrown from a flighty bay filly named Hansea, yet another Savage Girl filly. If Cindy had thought going through retraining with Bosta was difficult, Hansea made her half-sister look like a dream.

"You are going to mind me," Cindy gritted her teeth, keeping the young two-year-old from trying to rip her out of the saddle. Cindy had no doubt that if the filly ever got her underneath her hooves she would be trampled. There was a definite air of Bosta in the young horse, and the two were cut out of the same cloth, but there was also a very real difference about them also. Cindy had always known that Bosta was trainable. She had been a handful and excitable, but never mean. Hansea was mean.

"Have your hands full?" Laura asked, grinning as she walked her mount, Jaded, along the rail as Cindy battled with Hansea in the middle of the track.

"Are you kidding me?" Cindy let out a grunt as the filly bowed her neck to the ground and lashed out with her hind legs. Cindy clung to the filly's mane as Hansea collected herself and reared, her pitch black mane flying behind her.

Cindy got the filly down to all fours and got her moving again, working her up the track with the filly grinding on the bit the entire way, forcing Cindy to push back as they plowed down the rail. Cindy galloped by, pulling the filly out so she could hear Lucas shouting at her as she went past.

"Keep her going!" he was yelling. "One more lap."

Cindy nodded her understanding and felt the filly leap forward, her head held low as she huffed out of an open mouth, her ears flicking back and forth as Cindy kept her galloping up the track, and the wrong way. Cindy smiled to herself, knowing she had the filly completely confused. Sometimes it helped with animals like Hansea. If they were feeling particularly nasty, as Hansea was, sometimes all you had to do was turn them around and gallop clockwise for a while. It decreased the chance that they would bolt, and gave the rider a moment to regain control.

After their last lap, Cindy halted Hansea by the gap and leapt off before the filly could throw her off, handing her over to the horse's preferred hotwalker for a cool out and a bath. After their work the filly was covered in lather, and looking down at herself Cindy realized that she might as well be also.

"Lucas," Cindy called as she walked off the track. "Do me a favor and refuse to take any more Savage Girl fillies."

Lucas laughed and shook his head as she pulled off her helmet, redoing her ponytail.

"I would if they weren't damn fine runners," he chuckled. "She's going with you to Saratoga, you know. You'll just have to learn to live her."

Cindy sighed audibly and gave Jack a look, who was leaning against the rail with a smile.

"Hey, you know how I feel about Savage Girl," he said. "If Bosta wasn't enough of an experience, that one might kill me if I try to help."

"Alright," Cindy sighed, and then gave Jack a pointed glance. "I'm sure Mr. Hernon will know the way to her heart."

"Ouch," Lucas grinned, as Jack rolled his eyes.

"If that ever happens in my lifetime, Cin, make sure to call me and you can tell me all about it," Jack replied quickly to Cindy's huff.

"Okay, you two," Lucas said, intervening. "I still want to get that new colt out here before it gets unbearable. Cindy, you're up."

"Again," she sighed, pulling her helmet back on as she saw the dappled gray colt being led down to the gap, passing by Hansea, who lifted her dark bay head and snapped at him in the most unladylike fashion she could muster.

Cindy rolled her shoulders, feeling her old injury aching dully from her fall off of Hansea as she watched Sunday Punch ambling down to her. He didn't look like he was going to cause her any trouble, but then again you never really knew until you got up on them for the first time.

"I don't want anything big," Lucas said as the colt was halted in front of her and Cindy got a good look at him standing in the blinding summer morning. "We're shipping out tomorrow afternoon, so we'll just do a quick warm up and maybe a lap around at a gallop to limber him up a little."

Cindy nodded and got a leg up from Jack, flying into the air and landing softly in the saddle. The colt didn't even twitch a muscle. Cindy smiled and patted him on the neck before collecting the reins and moving out.

Riding Sunday Punch was almost a tranquil experience. Cindy hovered over the saddle as she slid him into a canter and a gallop, the gray effortlessly responding to her commands. It was easy to let her mind wander as she listened to the quiet sounds of the colt's hooves hitting the dirt. She watched his dark mane slapping against this white and gray marked neck. His dark-tipped ears flicked back to listen to her as he snorted with relaxation, his dark legs slicing through the air as his salt and pepper tail floated after him.

Everything about this horse was opposite of his name, Cindy realized as she slowed down after the gallop, the colt complying with a small toss of his head, letting Cindy see his white washed face and dark muzzle. She let him drop to a trot and finally a walk, coming up on the inside of Laura again, who had traded Jaded for Fresh Tactics, William Lewis' big three-year-old who had missed the Classics in preparation for his real goal: the Breeders' Cup Classic.

"You looked like you were in a daze," Laura smiled, reining in Fresh Tactics next to Sunday Punch. "Did falling off of Hansea get to you?"

"No," Cindy shook her head. "Just riding this guy is like heaven," she laughed, running her hand through the colt's rough mane.

"Figured," Laura said, putting a hand on Fresh Tactic's chestnut neck as he seemed to tense at Sunday Punch's presence. The gray merely flicked an ear at him and danced away, easily coming back down to a walk for Cindy.

"See," Cindy smiled, relaxing. "It's a whole different world from Hansea."

"Too bad she has to go up with you to Saratoga," Laura said.

"Oh, Saratoga," Cindy sighed, thinking about the meet she had to go to. "Have you talked to Lewis yet about where he's taking Tactics?"

"I did," Laura said, instantly grinning. "And I hope you don't mind having a roommate in Saratoga. Tactics is going to the Jim Dandy!"

"Thank god!" Cindy laughed. "I thought I'd be all alone! And that's excellent!"

Laura grinned. "Well, this is my Classic horse. After missing out to Red Army I'm just glad to get a second chance."

"You've got a ton of chances," Cindy said realistically. "I mean, you were riding Titus in the Breeders' Cup before you even had an agent."

"True," Laura said, nodding and changing the subject. "But I can't wait to get up to Saratoga. You and I are going to have a blast."

Cindy nodded enthusiastically. "Now that you're coming with me I have no doubt."

The next day, Cindy was piling things into the trunk her new Audi S4, listening to the traffic of Brooklyn roaring outside of the parking garage. She knew that Jack was already at Belmont, loading horses into the van and putting up with the wild theatrics of Hansea. At the moment, she was too busy trying to shove her last bag in with Laura's two duffles and all of their riding equipment.

"I suppose we could always come back to get more stuff," Laura said, walking out of the elevator with her keys at hand. "Did you get everything? I locked up."

"I've got everything," Cindy nodded, slamming the red trunk door closed and going to the driver's side. "Ready to hit the road?"

"Of course," Laura grinned. "I even brought along my trusty coffee cup. I'm good for the next two hours."

Cindy laughed, and they got into the car. She loved her new car. It was red, new, and most importantly it was automatic. There wasn't anything better, in Cindy's opinion, than not having to shift three times while merging into traffic.

By the time they got to Belmont, the heat was already starting to rise, and Cindy was all for hitting the road in her air conditioned car. But there was still one horse to load, and Cindy had to wait through the terror of getting Hansea into the trailer. Once it was done, Cindy helped Jack secure the filly next to her running mate, an older chestnut mare named Southern Beauty.

"Why are we taking her again?" Cindy asked, making sure the filly had access to her hay net, while still managing to keep out of Hansea's reach.

"Just so we can torture you, Cin," Jack replied, and Cindy stuck out her tongue at him, only to get mock propositioned.

"You're horrible," Cindy admonished, glaring at Jack from over the filly's back as he smiled.

"You can count on that," he grinned, patting Hansea's neck. "She's ready. You and Laura good to go?"

"But of course!" Laura called from outside the van, lifting her travel coffee cup to them. "Let's hit the road before this coffee runs out."

"Okay," Jack nodded, following Cindy down the ramp and helping Lucas close it up to Hansea's angry rampage within. Cindy winced for the rest of the horses traveling with them.

"Well, you just have the time of your life," Cindy smiled at Jack, who only shook his head as they listened to Hansea thunder inside the van.

"She'll calm down in good time," Lucas said. "It's not too long to Saratoga, in any case."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better," Jack said, walking over to the cab of the van.

"And you volunteered for the job," Cindy reminded him.

"Watch it," he half-heartedly threatened her, but she only smiled and slid into her car, watching Jack swing up into the cab of the van.

"You guys are certainly friendly," Laura teased as Cindy turned on the ignition.

"Oh, it's pointless flirting," Cindy admitted, downplaying it. "No big deal."

"Uh-huh," Laura grinned as they followed Jack out of the gates of Belmont. Cindy frowned at Laura and decided to draw the line in the sand.

"Don't even start, Laura."

Cindy always knew her roommate couldn't leave well enough alone. Halfway through the trip, Laura started again. Cindy glued her gaze at the back of the van speeding up the interstate and sighed.

"I mean, are you aware of the amount of rumors flying around the track about you two?" Laura asked, ending her long diatribe with a question Cindy was very much aware of.

"Yeah," Cindy shrugged. "But that means nothing," she pointed out. "I've heard rumors about you and William Lewis, if you're interested in knowing."

Laura burst out into laughter. "Oh, that's just too hilarious."

"Well, it just proves that backside rumors are usually false. I mean, there could be ghosts in the track kitchen according to those rumors," Cindy said, getting flustered.

"I've never heard those," Laura kidded, getting Cindy's frustrated look.

"Okay," Laura held up her hands. "I know those rumors about you and Jack are false. I'm your roommate for Christ's sake. I know better than anyone else. But I do know that they're based in something."

"Oh, quit it," Cindy sighed.

"I will not!" Laura laughed.

"They aren't based in anything," Cindy insisted.

"Oh, no?" Laura asked. "Is Jack driving that van? Aren't you going to be working with David Hernon? Cindy, Jack hates Hernon. He's made that perfectly clear."

"You know, I really can't figure it out," Cindy said.

"About what?" Laura asked.

"Hernon," Cindy said. "You know why Jack doesn't like him?"

"I have no clue," Laura shrugged. "Reputation, maybe. Or they might know each other better than we think. Jack doesn't let on about much."

"No kidding," Cindy agreed, remembering her own frustration with Jack. The man was impossible sometimes, and Cindy had learned long ago that it was almost a lost cause trying to pull information out of him if he wouldn't willingly give it.

"Well, I think it's obvious he's worried about you," Laura said, taking a sip of her coffee. "He wouldn't be driving up here if he wasn't."

"I hardly think there's something to be worried about," Cindy snorted, watching the van in front of her with curiosity.

Laura leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs. "Neither do I," she agreed. "But we're almost there," she added. "I guess we'll see soon."

Saratoga was a horse racing paradise. Somehow it had managed to do what other tracks had not. It had maintained its old dignity through the years, never losing its charm and flavor. Cindy loved that about Saratoga. It wasn't encased in glass or surrounded with littered cement. It was a state of the art horse racing facility, and delivered the best racing of the summer. No wonder her parents had bought a summer home there.

Cindy followed the large horse van into the back gates of the race track, winding up the gravel roads until they approached their destination, a perfectly maintained barn situated close to the track. Cindy parked next to the van and killed the engine, climbing out of the car and stretching casually as she heard the van's door slam next to her. Immediately she could hear Hansea wake up and start kicking.

She wandered around the back of the van and met Jack, who was already undoing the latches to the door. Cindy didn't say anything to him, but helped silently, lowering the ramp and walking in to sooth the obviously upset Hansea.

She was so busy with the filly she didn't see David Hernon's entrance, but when she undid Hansea's restraints and was suddenly pulled out of the van by a flying fit that was the filly, she met Hernon soon enough.

"Whoa," she heard a few people calling as the filly launched off the ramp and dragged Cindy around her like a doll. Cindy clung harder to the lead rope until she felt another hand land around the shank and yank the filly to a halt.

Cindy took a deep breath and looked up at the man next to her, immediately starting.

"Hey," he smiled at her.

"Hi," she greeted back, jumping when she felt the filly suddenly spook again and go into another fit, swinging her hind quarters around and rearing. Cindy let go of the rope and backed away as she watched David Hernon handle the filly, bringing her down to all fours and keeping her moving.

She stumbled back to where Laura and Jack were standing, casually watching the filly dance around David with her head high, jerking at the rope every few steps with defiance.

"You know, it's been a while since I've seen him," Laura said offhandedly, watching the show.

"Yeah, a couple of years," Cindy nodded. She had seen him last at a New Year's Eve party in Manhattan, where she had been thoroughly embarrassed, although she knew now there was nothing to be embarrassed about then.

Jack remained oddly silent, and Cindy gave him a wayside glance that he didn't return.

David handed the filly off to a groom, telling the young man where Hansea's stall was before brushing off his hands on his jeans.

"Hey, Fieldman," he called brightly, and Jack nodded to him. "Haven't seen you in a while."

"Not like I'm counting the days or anything, Hernon," Jack answered without missing a beat.

Hernon laughed and turned his gaze to Cindy and Laura. "And I see I've got two beautiful ladies to work with this summer," he said, extending his hand. "David Hernon. You must be Cindy."

"We've actually met before," Cindy said, shaking his hand anyway. "A couple of times."

"Oh, right," David nodded. "I do remember that. I don't know how I could have forgotten such a presence."

Cindy laughed, and glanced over at Jack, who wasn't smiling.

"And Laura," David nodded. "It will be good to have Fresh Tactics in my barn. I'm glad Lewis took me up on the offer."

"Well, we had to have a place to stable him," Laura shrugged. "Thanks for offering the space."

"No problem," David nodded cheerfully. "Now let's get these horses in their stalls. I'm sure you guys want to go check out your hotel."

"House, actually," Cindy corrected him, getting a look from Hernon. "My parents own a summer home here."

"Excellent," David nodded. "Where at?"

"About ten minutes away," Cindy said. "Up on Mill Ridge Road."

"Yeah, that's a good neighborhood," David nodded, walking up into the van and untying Southern Beauty, backing her down. "You'll definitely like this summer."

"Yeah," Cindy said, untying Sunday Punch and backing him down the ramp. "That's what I'm hoping for."


	3. Chapter 3

3.

The sun was sinking over the horizon as Cindy finally pulled up in front of her parent's house and slid the car into the garage, quietly killing the engine.

"Home, sweet home," Cindy announced, rolling her aching shoulder and pretending that it couldn't possibly hurt as much as it was. What she needed was a warm shower and, as her stomach rumbled to remind her, a dinner to make up for the light lunch she had snacked on in the car on the way up.

"Thank God," Laura groaned, opening the door of the car and almost falling out of it. Cindy had to admit that it was a busy day. Since arriving at the track, unloading the horses had taken far longer than needed and to top it all off Hansea had gotten out of her stall. No one knew how this had happened, but the screams of people on the backside as Hansea had streaked by the barn she was supposed to be safely stalled in didn't need explanation.

Cindy wandered to the trunk of the car and opened it unenthusiastically, hauling out her bags and depositing them on the ground with a loud thunk. She saw Jack climbing out of the backseat and tossed her keys to him, which he deftly caught in the air.

"Hey, could you open the door for me?"

He only shook his head and tossed them back at her, which she didn't expect, missing the catch and watching them fall behind her.

"How about I carry the bags and you open the door," he offered. "Sounds a little more plausible."

Laura only chuckled as she rifled through the trunk, pulling out her things and rolling them across the smooth pavement of the garage. Cindy nodded fleetingly and picked up the keys, following Jack to the door and slipping in front of him to unlock the dead bolt and push the door open.

Cindy walked through the house, turning on lights in the kitchen and family room. She smiled at the memories of her family and her other trips to Saratoga, remembering all the fun that had been had in this old Victorian house. She walked up to the French doors and pulled aside the lacy drapes, flicking on the light to the back porch and pool. The water in the pool rippled from the fountain that ran into it, looking cool and inviting in the heat of the dusk hours.

"Who's up for swimming?" Cindy asked cheerfully, turning around to her friends.

"Oh, me," Laura laughed, raising her hand as she closed the garage door.

"Hey, I just brought myself, here," Jack said, shaking his head.

"Something tells me that wouldn't stop you," Cindy said, laughing at his reaction.

"I'm thinking I'll just watch," Jack said, making himself comfortable on the sofa and turning on the television.

"Well, I want to get some food before I do anything," Laura said. "I'm starved. Cindy, what's in this house?"

"You're guess is as good as mine," she said, shrugging. "I know my parents haven't been up here since last summer."

"Well, cross your fingers," Laura said, marching into the kitchen and opening the refrigerator. Cindy collapsed onto the arm chair next to the sofa and snuggled against a pillow, watching Jack flip through the unfamiliar channels before he fell on Sportscenter.

"Don't you get tired of ESPN?" Cindy asked, watching as he tossed the remote on the coffee table and laid down on the sofa.

"Nope," he answered, putting his hands behind his head.

"You're unbelievable," Cindy groaned.

"And what was it that you called me the last time we were here?" Jack asked. "Oh, male. Isn't that right?"

"Okay, you can just shut up now," Cindy laughed, throwing her pillow at him and immediately demanding it back. He refused, casually sticking it behind his head with a pointed thank you.

"Guys, bad news," Laura called, walking out from the kitchen. "We've got a choice between condiments and pickles. What's it going to be?"

"There's nothing frozen?" Cindy asked.

"Well, yeah," Laura shrugged. "But unless you want expired chicken strips I'm telling you this is it."

Cindy looked at Laura for a second and then looked at Jack, who shrugged.

"I'll pay for pizza," he suggested, and Cindy jumped up to grab the phone.

"Deal," she said. "There's a great place down on Main Street that has take out."

"We'll have to go to the store tomorrow then," Laura sighed, walking back into the kitchen as Cindy ordered the pizza.

Forty minutes later Cindy sat at the edge of the pool next to Jack and Laura, dangling her legs in the water while eating her last slice of pizza and washing it down with the beer Jack had gotten on their way to the pizza place. She swished her legs in the water, dipping them in and out of the pool, happy she had remembered to bring plenty of shorts and tank tops with her. The Saratoga humidity was going to be hard to bear.

"I am stuffed," Laura announced, getting up and stretching. "And I'm tired as sin. I think I'm headed to bed early tonight."

"What?" Cindy asked. "What about swimming?"

"The pool will be there tomorrow," Laura waved her off, turning for the house and carrying the empty pizza box with her. "I'll see you two in the morning."

"Night, Laura," Jack called over the beer bottle, and Laura smirked.

"Be good, Jack," she pointed at him.

"I'm always on my best behavior," Jack feigned.

"And I'm the Queen of England," Laura replied haughtily, before slipping back into the house. "Night, guys."

Cindy drank the last of her beer and set the empty bottle on the flat rocks next to the pool, watching the lights underneath the water shimmer up to the surface.

"Still want to go swimming, huh?"

She smiled, not looking at Jack. "Yeah. I think I might run upstairs and grab my suit."

"Oh, why bother," Jack said, picking up the bottle opener and prying loose the cap of another beer. Cindy turned wide eyes to him.

"Don't you dare," she said, holding up a hand. He regarded her without much interest, taking a big gulp of the beer and setting it down next to him.

"Jack," she said, unnerved that he wasn't saying anything.

"Jack!" Cindy screeched when he suddenly grabbed her and tossed her into the deep end.

Cindy came bubbling to the surface, coughing and peeling clumps of wet hair from her face.

"I swear to God, Jack!" Cindy groaned, swimming to where she could touch and stand up, looking down at herself. "What gets into you?"

"Oh, come on, Cin," Jack said, casually taking another drink of his beer. "Water, plus Cindy, equals wet Cindy. Do I need to say more?"

"You are evil," Cindy pointed at him, suddenly getting self-conscious.

"Yeah, I guess I am," he smiled, and she huffed, putting her hands on her hips.

"Is there any limit?" she asked him, and he shook his head.

"Probably not," he smiled, finishing off the beer and putting it down next to him. Cindy only frowned and made her way to the steps, wringing out her hair as she hauled herself out of the pool. She came up next to him as he was standing up and she put up her hands.

"No," she said, just as he picked her up and dumped her back in the pool.

When she came sputtering back up for air, all she could see was a shirtless Jack diving into the deep end next to her, another splash of water coming her way.

"You are insane," Cindy said, treading water as Jack came up to the surface nearby, shoving his hands through his wet hair. "I thought you weren't going swimming."

"Changed my mind," he said, shrugging. "Besides, it is hot out. And you're in the pool, and what guy in his right mind wouldn't be in the pool with you?"

"You have a dirty mind," Cindy gave him a narrowed look, starting to make her way back to the shallow side, but Jack caught her leg and towed her back.

"Oh, come on," Jack laughed, pulling her back easily. She looked down through the water and realized he was standing and she was still too short to touch the bottom.

"No," Cindy sighed, groaning. "You're probably going to drown me, aren't you?"

"Not if you fight back," Jack suggested.

Cindy considered him for a moment, wishing she was tall enough to touch the bottom. She had absolutely no advantage in a wrestling match with Jack in a pool. Jack smiled at her a foot away in the water and she made a split decision. She was going to fight back. With a swift move, she flung herself at his head.

The wrestling match degenerated into a vicious water fight that Cindy happened to believe she was winning until he grabbed her hands and forced them under water.

"Jack," she complained. "I was beating you. Come on."

"You weren't beating me, Cin," he informed her and she pouted, trying to pry her wrists loose.

"That's not fair," Cindy stated. "Using masculine strength against a poor, defenseless female. You should be ashamed."

"Oh?" Jack asked. "I wouldn't exactly call you defenseless."

Cindy snorted, trying another tactic to get her hands free and failing miserably.

"Okay, I give in," she said, feeling him let go of her. She floated in the water, letting her head tip back and feeling her hair glide like wisps of silk in the pool.

They were silent for a little while. Cindy floated, Jack leaned against the side and watched her. The night was cooling down, but it was still hot outside and Cindy felt perfect immersed in the water, even with her clothes on. She righted herself in the pool and planted her feet on the bottom, looking at Jack. She had a question forming in her head since they had decided to ship to Saratoga, and she decided to ask it while she had Jack stationary in front of her.

"What's your deal with David Hernon?" she asked him, getting a surprised look from Jack.

"What's my deal with Hernon?" he repeated.

"Yeah," Cindy said. "He seems like a pretty good guy."

"You don't know him very well," Jack said, shrugging.

"Maybe, but he seems decent at least," she said.

"Cin, it's just a personal thing," Jack said, dodging the issue. Cindy gave him her patented whatever look and strode up to him in the water, getting his attention.

"What sort of personal thing are we talking about?" Cindy asked, and he shook his head.

"Forget it," he defended.

"No," Cindy replied.

"You know, you're cute when you act defiant," he said, pushing from the wall and knocking her over into the water. This time Cindy had been ready for it and jumped at his neck, clinging to him and making them both fall under the surface. Cindy grinned at him under the water and they managed to come up for air, Cindy's arms still firmly hooked around his neck, his hands on her rib cage.

They both looked a little surprised by the contact, but that faded quickly to something much more uncomfortable. Cindy glanced down, finding it hard to stare Jack straight in the eyes. He didn't let go, and neither did she. Right when she found herself capable of looking back up at Jack the sound of the french doors opening made Cindy jump back.

"Hey, Cindy," Laura said, holding up the cordless phone and freezing when she saw the episode in the pool.

"Yeah," Cindy answered, feeling Jack's fingers brush down her rib cage and away. She untangled her arms and swam to the edge of the pool.

"Phone," Laura smiled, glancing between Cindy and Jack quickly. Cindy hauled herself out of the pool and shook the water off her hands, taking the phone as Laura quickly said she'd get towels and disappeared.

"Hello?" Cindy asked.

"Cindy," Beth's voice answered. "I'm sorry, did I catch you at a bad time? Your roommate answered."

"No, I was just swimming," Cindy said, clearing her throat and looking down at the smooth rock as Jack got out of the pool, shaking his head to get rid of the excess water. Laura came trotting back outside with towels, plopping them on the table and leaving with an elfish grin on her face.

Cindy flicked water at her as she went by. That didn't stop Laura was mouthing, "We are talking right after this."

Cindy rolled her eyes and flicked more water her way before picking up the towel.

"I just wanted to know if you had gotten in yet," Beth said. "You never called."

"Yeah, I'm sorry," Cindy said. "We got so caught up in getting food, and before that we were at the track for what seemed like forever. I was going to call, but I just forgot."

"It's alright, Cindy," Beth said, laughing a little. Cindy smiled, starting to dry herself off over her clothes. Beth seemed much more relaxed since Cindy had taken up permanent residence in New York. Talking with her mother was much more enjoyable now that Beth wasn't grilling her about every aspect of her life.

"How does the house look?" Beth asked. "I don't think there's much food in there."

"The house is fine, and no there isn't any food at all. Laura and I are going shopping tomorrow," Cindy reported.

"Good," Beth nodded. "I was just calling to say we definitely won't be up there this summer. Ian is setting up shop out in California with Adriatic and Wonder of Roma. We might be to Belmont in September for the preps leading to the Breeders' Cup. Has your father called?"

"No," Cindy said, shaking her head even though she knew her mother couldn't see it. "He's at Del Mar now?"

"They shipped out about a week ago," Beth said. "They'll be back in a few weeks and then they'll ship to Belmont if your father and Ashleigh agree. Since the Breeders' Cup is at Santa Anita this year they're having some difficulty agreeing on a schedule."

Cindy frowned, understanding. Her father would want to come to Belmont because of both herself and the stakes opportunities. Adriatic was a dirt horse with stamina, perfect for the Jockey Club Gold Cup. Wonder of Roma was a turf horse, capable of going over a mile and a half. He was the first foal of Ashleigh's Wonder to prefer the turf, and the bay son of Red Roman could run like the wind on it. There were several perfect races for him at Belmont.

"Well, give me a call if you'll be up here in September. You'll have to come up also, mom. You haven't been here since last summer."

"I might come along," Beth said. "I guess it depends on how much room is on the plane."

Cindy laughed, talked for a few more minutes, and said good bye. When she turned off the phone she spun back to Jack and found him sitting on one of the lawn chairs, looking at her easily.

"Um, Jack," she started, but he cut her off, echoing his earlier words.

"Forget it, Cin," Jack said, getting up and walking past her into the house. Cindy blinked and frowned, wondering what the hell she had done to get the cold shoulder.

"Fine," Cindy said slowly, picking up the towel and the cell phone and following him inside. She shut the doors and followed in his footsteps as she turned off lights, setting the phone back on the hook as she went up the stairs.

Later, after Cindy had dried off and slipped into pajamas, she found herself sitting cross-legged across from Laura, telling her the whole story about herself, Jack and the pool.

"Oh, that's priceless," Laura laughed, shaking her head.

"Laura," Cindy groaned, falling on her back and staring at her ceiling. "I don't know what's going on."

"Yeah, I think I got that much," Laura said between giggles.

"This is not good," Cindy shook her head.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Laura said. "You know, did you ever think to just give in and get it out of your system?"

"You're sick," Cindy proclaimed.

"I am not," Laura shook her head, and then turned serious. "Really, he's leaving tomorrow. If something is going on, it will fizzle over the summer. You're not going to see a lot of him."

"What if it doesn't fizzle?" Cindy asked.

"Then you've got an interesting situation on your hands," Laura shrugged. "Either way, I don't think it's bad."

They sat for another minute before Laura proclaimed she was tired and left Cindy to think about her dilemma, staring at the ceiling until she fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

4.

Cindy woke up to the high pitched chirps of birds and a light summer morning breeze. Dimly she was aware of opening the windows when they had gotten to Saratoga instead of using the air conditioning, as was Laura's preferred habit. Cindy had to admit that it felt wonderful during the night and morning, when the sun slanted into the windows accompanied by the mild breath of fresh air.

Cindy took a deep breath and exhaled, sitting up and rubbing at her eyes. She sat there for a minute, feeling the blood rush to her head. It was only five in the morning, and what little sunlight there was just a small glow on the horizon. Dawn wouldn't arrive for another hour yet. Nevertheless, Cindy clicked on the lights and swung her legs down to the ground, stretching. She padded over the cool hard wood floors in her bare feet, tugging at the hem of her tank top and retying the cord around her long pajama bottoms.

She had left her door open a crack during the night to let the air in her room circulate, and she pushed it open, wandering down the hall and the stairs. She stepped through the kitchen, ignoring the empty fridge and going to the front door to get the morning paper that always came for the housekeeper when she was in. She opened the heavy wooden door, grabbed the early edition, and set it on the kitchen table.

"Hey," she heard Jack greet her as he walked down the stairs in the jeans he had been wearing last night, pulling his gray shirt on over his head as he cleared the last step. Cindy's first reaction was to blush, so she looked down and redid her messy ponytail, trying to burn away memories of last night from her brain.

"Morning," Cindy said softly, going through the paper and fishing out sections she wanted to read. "Did you dry those jeans?"

"Yeah," he said. "Didn't keep you up did it?"

"No," Cindy said quickly, shaking her head. "No. I slept like a log."

"Yeah, you're probably the snoring kind," Jack said, pouring himself a glass of water as Cindy made a face.

"Hardly," Cindy informed him, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow at him. Joking was a good sign. If they could joke everything was all right and no one was uncomfortable. Cindy grabbed onto that hope and clung to it.

Jack sat down at the table and started to put on his boots, giving Cindy a casual sideways glance as she sat down and read the rundown of the paper's early analysis for the Saratoga meet, which was scheduled to begin that coming weekend. Things felt more comfortable, and Cindy settled in her chair, folding her legs underneath her while stealing quick glances at Jack to confirm her decision that nothing felt awkward and all was normal.

She let her gaze last longer than she had intended, getting caught up before she realized she was stuck staring at him. He had showered before her, and his dark hair was still damp and towel dried. A few days away from a razor were showing on his jaw, and Cindy had to force down the feeling of wanting to touch the rough stubble that she found so appealing. When he looked up she jumped and looked away, thankful that the garage door was opening and Laura walked in with two plastic sacks from the local super market.

"Breakfast!" Laura called. "I couldn't take it anymore, Cin. Sorry, but I borrowed your car and bought breakfast foods."

Cindy gave Laura a dumbfounded look but nodded and watched her roommate spirit into the kitchen and begin to put away yogurt, cereal, milk, orange juice and breakfast bars.

"Who wants what?" Laura asked, pulling out her box of Grape Nuts and beginning to pour some into a bowl. "Everyone must eat. Jack, you've got a drive ahead of you. You're eating and don't give me that look. Eat."

Cindy stifled a laugh and got up to grab a yogurt and spoon. Soon everyone was weaving around in the small kitchen, grabbing utensils and pouring glasses of juice and water. Cindy bumped into Jack a few times, a blush rising every time she did it, jumping away before he could say anything. As much as she wanted to admit she was calm and cool, her nerves certainly weren't.

They ate quickly and headed for the car after Cindy showered and appeared in jeans, boots and a white cotton tank. Everyone was silent on the ride to the track. Cindy glanced one too many times in the rear view mirror as she drove to catch a glimpse of Jack, who was lounging in the backseat of the Audi. He caught her on her last attempt to get a view of his face, and when he asked her what she was looking at she nearly rear ended the person in front of her.

"Cin!" Laura exclaimed as the car jerked to a halt at the traffic light. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," Cindy shook her head. "I thought the guy behind me was tailgating me, and that sort of makes me nervous. You know?"

Jack raised his eyebrows and looked behind them at the small elderly woman slowing a mini van behind them.

"Cin, I think you need to get your eyes checked," Jack responded, and Cindy winced. She didn't look once more in the rear view mirror after that, and arrived at Saratoga in record time.

"Well, that was eventful," Laura said, getting out of the car and pulling out her equipment. Cindy sighed and apologized.

"Don't worry about it, Cin," Jack said. "You keep things entertaining."

"Yeah," Cindy said, getting out of the car and pulling out her bag. Jack was already fiddling with the keys to the rig and she suddenly had a rushed feeling, as if she needed to do something drastic in the next few minutes before Jack left for the summer. She wouldn't see him unless she went down to Belmont, or if he came up on race days, and all together that equaled up to very little time with Jack. She was suddenly succumbing to her nerves as she watched Jack twirl the keys around his index finger.

"Thanks for the breakfast, Laura," Jack said as Laura walked up to the barn. Cindy stood motionless by her car, watching him and wondering what she should do. Then she wondered if she even needed to do anything. He was only her friend. She would see him again. It wasn't like she had to run up to him and profess her undying love, and even the thought of doing that made Cindy snort.

"No problem," Laura said. "Make sure to come up here often. I don't want this summer to be too dull."

Jack laughed and Cindy shot Laura a look. "What, am I not amusing enough for you?"

"You know what I mean," Laura gave Cindy a wink and in return Cindy sent her roommate a withering glare before Laura disappeared inside the barn.

"Hey," Jack said, touching Cindy's arm and making her spin around to look up at him. "Don't worry about last night, okay?"

"I'm not worried about anything," Cindy partially lied. She was more confused than anything else. "I had fun. Didn't you?"

"Well, yeah," Jack said, "but I don't think that's what I was getting at."

"Right," Cindy said softly, wondering if she was supposed to avoid it or tackle it head on. Somehow she didn't think talking about it in the middle of the Saratoga backside was the time. If rumors were flying now she didn't even know how intense they'd be after such a discussion.

"Well, I've got to hit the road," Jack said, hanging back. Cindy took a step forward, catching him before he moved out of her reach.

"Promise you'll come up every now and then to visit," she said. "You know, besides race days."

"Hell, Cin, I don't even know if I'll be up here for race days yet," he said, running a hand through his hair.

Cindy frowned and he immediately amended his statement. "I'll visit if you do," he said. "Besides race days."

"Well, I'm definitely coming home this summer," Cindy said. "You think I'd let myself get stuck up here for the next two months?"

"Then we have a deal," Jack said, and Cindy nodded.

"Deal," she smiled, shaking on it. "So I guess I'll see you when I see you."

"Yeah," he said, both not aware that they were still holding hands. "Something really abstract like that."

"Okay," Cindy said quietly, watching herself be drawn up to him. Before she knew what had happened she was hugging him goodbye, her arms around his torso and her nose pressing against his chest. She felt his arms around her back, the keys resting against her spine as she felt him breathe above her. She didn't know how this had happened, but she could already feel the eyes on them.

Suddenly he let her go and told her goodbye. She stumbled back and smiled at him as he turned around and headed off to the truck, swinging the keys in his hand in agitation. As soon as the rig roared to life and rumbled out of the gates of Saratoga, Cindy turned around at the sound of another voice.

"Ready to get to work?"

She saw David Hernon leaning against the side of the barn, watching her with interest. Cindy hesitated for a minute, wondering how long he had been there, before putting on a smile and nodding.

"I'm always ready," she replied.

"Good," David said. "I've got Hansea up first."

Cindy rolled her shoulder out of habit, sticking her tongue between her teeth as she felt Sunday Punch tug at the reins experimentally, tossing his head as he met Cindy's resistance. The dappled gray colt took a quick step to the side and danced in place, rolling his dark eyes.

"We're going to do a mile gallop," David was instructing her by the rail. "Keep alert if you're going to take him to the rail. I was told that's where his grove his, and he's liable to take you on a trip if you slack."

"I don't slack," Cindy sweetly informed David, reining in Sunday as the colt started to dance around in a circle. The gray colt came to a quick halt, lifting his head to scan the track and take a deep breath.

"So Lucas told me," David said. "But since I'm more of a see it to believe it sort of guy, prove it."

Cindy frowned at him and shrugged. "Fine. I'll take him around the inside. Anything else?"

"Nope," David said, crossing his arms over his chest and smiling at her, the hot morning sun glinting off his dark blond hair. "Let's see how this goes."

Cindy nodded and took the colt out to the track, picking up speed immediately as Sunday caught on and plowed forward at Cindy's command. The gray leapt into the turn, cantering with restrained effort into the backstretch as Cindy worked him up the training track. Sunday snorted and arched his neck against Cindy's firm hold, tossing back his salt and pepper mane.

"Whoa," Cindy said calmly, letting the colt work into a gallop and angling him in. Already she could feel the colt push powerfully, kicking hard into his workout. Cindy hovered over his withers, keeping up with the colt as he began to move faster down the rail, huffing excitedly with each stride.

Cindy grinned into the colt's mane, letting the rough strands slap at her lips and face while they wound around the track easily, the colt's hooves beating at the ground steadily while practically crowding the rail. Cindy began to urge the colt, keeping him upbeat enough to plow past the last marker in almost a breezing gallop.

Getting the colt to stop was another matter entirely. Cindy spent most of the clubhouse turn getting the colt to a manageable speed. By the time they were trotting back to the gap they were both sweating. Sunday's gray coat was covered in a thin film of lather and Cindy was tossing a clump of damp hair out of her eyes.

"That good enough for you?" Cindy asked haughtily, stopping Sunday at the gap and jumping off, turning to lead the colt off of the track and into the waiting hands of a groom.

David arched an eyebrow and shrugged. "I suppose you'll do, Ms. McLean."

Cindy snorted. "Right. I was sent here, David. I don't think you have a choice over whether or not you can keep me."

"True," David said, nodding and leaning against the rail to watch the other horses work. "I guess I have no choice other than to keep you."

"Oh, don't sound so broken up," Cindy said, starting to feel weird about the conversation. She couldn't honestly tell if he was joking with her or being serious. She stopped and stood close to him, trying to get an idea of who this man was that Jack hated so much. Just looking at him she couldn't come up with anything conclusive.

"What are you looking at?" David asked, smiling at her.

"Are you being serious?" Cindy asked, deciding to put all her cards out for him to see. "Because I'm here now and I have to know that we're going to work well together."

David raised an eyebrow and considered her for a minute, moving away from the rail to look down at her. Finally, he nodded. "I'm kidding, really. I work well with everyone, and you're no exception. I'm actually impressed with your riding."

Cindy frowned, not exactly expecting that.

"In fact," he laughed. "Why wouldn't I be? You won the Distaff with Bosta last year, and the Oaks with Chasing Rubies. You're an accomplished jockey for a woman."

"For a woman?" Cindy asked, trying to find some fault with him. If Jack had her reservations, she should at least find some also.

"For any young jockey starting out," David corrected himself, then shook his head with a smile. "And, honestly, for a woman. There aren't many women in this sport."

"No kidding," Cindy said, crossing her arms.

"Okay," David said. "I have a feeling I said something wrong, and I apologize for whatever it was. Let's just start out on the right foot, okay? What did I say?"

Cindy frowned, feeling a little odd. "Nothing," she said, shaking her head.

"You're not going to be easy to work with, huh?" he asked, sending her a lopsided grin.

"I'm easy to work with," Cindy defended. "I've had my feuds, but I'm easy to work with."

"I'll take your word for it," David said. "It will be good working with you."

"Likewise," Cindy said, pulling off her helmet and shaking out her hair. David had turned back to the track and she easily turned her back, walking up to the backside. She glanced across the road beyond the gate and saw Saratoga sitting old and grand like it always had. She tucked her helmet under her arm and turned away, trying to feel as if she was missing something.

"How do you like the new boss?" Laura asked, drizzling some more olive oil over the pasta that sat in the colander in the sink. Cindy was chopping up some last minute garlic, wiping her hands on the damp dishtowel to get rid of the smell seeping into her finger tips.

"Not bad," Cindy said, announcing the verdict. "Not really all that bad at all. I don't know what he thinks of me, though."

"What do you mean?" Laura asked, checking on the chicken in the oven before taking Cindy's chopped garlic and putting the cloves to use.

"I mean," Cindy sighed. "He was just weird for a little while. Like he was testing me. And you know what's really weird? He was watching me and Jack, I think. Just before he left."

"Odd," Laura nodded. "But what about you and Jack?"

"You're just dying for gossip," Cindy pointed at her.

"Of course," Laura laughed. "I've got to know before the rest of the track does. Otherwise I'd be pitifully left out."

"I'll keep you up to date," Cindy promised. "But nothing happened that was gossip worthy. I promise. How did your day go?"

"Absolutely perfect," Laura said. "Tactics loves the surface and on top of that I completely forgot that Lewis is sending his Aqueduct assistant up to Saratoga tomorrow."

"Brian?" Cindy asked with a sly look.

"Yes, Brian," Laura grinned. "He's so adorable."

Cindy laughed and shook her head at her roommate as Laura pulled the chicken out of the oven.

"And now we eat," she announced, setting the baking sheet on the stove top.

Cindy sat outside in the lawn chair later that night, running her fingers over the cordless phone and staring at the pool. The stars were sitting bright in the sky and the water at the surface of the pool rippled as the fountain bubbled at the far end, the ferns quivering against the moving water.

Sighing, Cindy put the phone down and leaned back, throwing an arm over her head. She couldn't sleep because of the heat, and she couldn't stay still. Overall, she was restless in the dead quiet of the night, missing the sounds of Brooklyn underneath her window. But it was more than that. Angrily, she picked up the phone and went inside, slamming it down in its cradle and collapsing on the sofa.

Part of her wanted Jack to call, and she was annoyed that he hadn't. She took a look at her watch and frowned. It was past midnight, but she didn't care. She wanted him to call, and since she knew he wasn't going to she was furious at herself.

What was she thinking? Hugging him in the middle of the track backside like she was just asking for more rumors wasn't the smartest thing in the world. David had been watching them, and coming to conclusions. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to forget about it and wipe her mind clean. Finally she sat up and turned on the television, trying not to think about it.

Then it dawned on her. She had a crush.

"No, I don't," she argued with herself aloud. "I don't have a crush because that would be insane."

Nevertheless, at the moment she said the words she found herself silencing and she felt like throwing something.

"God damn it," Cindy groaned, falling back on the couch and staring out at the back porch. She could remember everything perfectly that had happened out there and just that morning. Cindy rested her hands on her forehead, trying to talk herself out of it. Jack was everything wonderful except these feelings she had were totally unacceptable. She wouldn't allow them. She could forbid herself from thinking about them, and from feeling them.

It was no use. Cindy turned off the television. She had a crush, and there was nothing she could do about it.


	5. Chapter 5

5.

As July wound down to a close, the heat became increasingly harsh and Cindy was jumping out of her skin. She had been in Saratoga Springs for two weeks, working with the horses every day until the point of exhaustion and without a word from New York. She had raced Hansea to a hard fought second place finish in the Grade II Schylerville Stakes, a six furlong event for two year old fillies, sent one of Lucas' juvenile colt contenders, Hero's Medal, to a fourth place finish in the Sanford Stakes. On top of it all, she had jockeyed Round About to a win the Whitney Handicap. All three times there had been no Jack, and not even a trace of Jack.

She had to admit there was a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. Lucas had told her he was out in California with Ryan representing a few owners at the yearling sales, but that to Cindy was pointless information. She wanted to know why he wasn't in Saratoga. Yearling sales and business deals didn't matter to her now.

Of course, she understood, she was being unreasonable. Jack was a trainer. His job was to buy horses for owners and train them to make up for the money they had spent in the first place. She understood that perfectly. The problem was that crushes were always unreasonable, and as much as she wanted to make sense and cool down, she couldn't.

"You are stiff as a board," Laura joked as she jogged past them on Fresh Tactics, the chestnut colt shaking his mane and snorting at Sunday Punch, who let out a punctuated squeal along the outside rail.

Cindy sighed and urged Sunday into a canter, rolling up next to Laura and Tactics. "I'm just a little tired," she shrugged, easily lying. Laura gave her a sly look and rolled her eyes.

"Okay," she nodded, pulling Tactics down to a trot and walk, the fiery colt bouncing and kicking up dirt. "How far does David have you breezing him?"

Cindy looked down at Sunday Punch as she pulled him up and looked at the gate that was being wheeled across the Oklahoma training track.

"Four furlongs," she announced. "The Amsterdam is coming up in less than a week and he doesn't want to push him."

"I'm going five," Laura nodded, glancing back at Brian Connelly, William Lewis' assistant trainer, who was standing with David. Both men were watching them.

"I guess I'll see you back at the gap," Cindy said, and Laura nodded, heading Tactics around the training gate for another warm up lap. Sunday was ready to go, and Cindy walked him up to the gate where two other horses were waiting on her, sprinters much like Sunday.

The gray colt tugged at the reins and slid easily into the gate, gentlemanly as ever. The two other horses, a colt and a gelding, lined up alongside for just a few seconds before the gates burst open and Sunday exploded.

They had been put on the rail, since Sunday had drawn the number one post position in the race in just four days. The gray colt collected himself and seemed to unfold dramatically, as though he were sprouting wings down the track. Cindy didn't have to encourage because the colt was running by himself, staring down the two competitors on his outside with a white ringed eye.

The three of them burst into the turn and sped up, accelerating. Cindy leveled herself with the colt's neck and felt the power coursing along the reins like a live wire, directing the colt closer to the rail as his natural inclination was to pop away from it as they turned. Cindy watched the horses on their outside falter and fall back just a hair when they zoomed past the last marker, Sunday Punch tearing at the reins and trying to switch leads into the homestretch. Cindy stood up in the stirrups and pulled back steadily, Sunday reacting immediately and slowing.

"Excellent!" she heard David yell as she softly galloped past the gap a few moments later, Sunday huffing with each stride they took up the track. "Keep cooling him out and come back after a lap!"

Cindy nodded mutely and let the colt revolve to the outside of the track, dropping to a canter and finally a walk, ambling down the track and breathing heavily.

"Looks like we finally learned the source of your name," Cindy said to him, giving the colt a pat on his hard, sweat soaked neck. Sunday snorted and tried to jump into a trot, only to be pulled back by Cindy when she saw Laura burst by on the rail with Tactics, the chestnut colt plowing through a small group of exercise horses to take the lead coming out of the turn.

Cindy smiled and watched Tactics fight up the middle of the group, shooting down the stretch with Laura's urging. The tall chestnut was certainly showing off all of the speed and stamina of his champion sire, Gulch.

"Bet you can run like that," Cindy said to Sunday, who flicked his gray tipped ears at her and shook out his mane, dancing on slender dark legs that slowly molded into splotched white. The colt had everything in him to be a fantastic sprinter, with Two Punch and Lit de Justice in his pedigree. His dam, Lit, had been a champion sprinter in her group, and his sire was a father of the champion sprinter Smoke Glacken. Sprinting was in Sunday Punch's blood, and Cindy couldn't wait to feel the colt's power on race day.

She was so involved in thinking about the colt's possibilities in the Amsterdam that the gap came up to her sooner than she thought, and when she looked up she nearly feel out of the saddle. There, standing just in front of her, was Jack.

"Jack?" she asked, barely able to find her voice. It was like it had left her in the time she needed it most.

"Hey," he said, leaning against the white railing next to Brian Connelly. David was mysteriously absent, but to Cindy this was a mild concern. She jumped off of Sunday and led the gray colt off the track, a delirious smile on her face.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, finding her voice again. She hung back a little as Brian waved Laura in, Tactics lathered and hyper from his breeze.

"Came up for race day," Jack announced. "I thought we had some deal, or am I wrong?"

"You're not wrong," Cindy grinned, feeling flushed all over. "This is great!"

"I'd like to point out that you haven't come to New York," Jack said. "You're lucky I'm even saying hello."

"Oh," Cindy stopped, giving him a thoughtful look. "But I thought you were in California most of the time."

"I was," Jack nodded.

"You're confusing me," Cindy kidded.

"It's not hard, is it?" Jack smiled and Cindy punched him in the arm.

"Jack!"

"Hey!" Laura called, stopping Tactics next to the gate and jumping off, pulling her helmet off her head. "What's the word from New York, Jack?"

"Got a new horse in," Jack said. "And fittingly we sent it up here."

"A new horse?" Cindy asked, handing Sunday Punch off to his groom as Jack nodded. "Yeah. Fresh from California. Brought him back with me the other day."

"Let's see him," Laura said, walking off the track and leading Tactics, handing him off to a groom as they headed across the street to the main track's backside. When they got to the barn, Cindy already caught sight of the new colt, who had his beautiful chestnut head craned out of the stall opening.

"Who is this?" Cindy asked, giving Sunday a pat on his soapy rump as they walked by where the horses were getting their baths.

"His name is Wonderment," Jack said, hanging back as Cindy walked up to the chestnut colt, running her hand over his wide stripe that wove down his face. The colt was big and well-made, with a shocking chestnut coat and three white socks covering both his hind pasterns and near fore. Cindy couldn't help but fall in love with him.

"Tell me his whole story," Cindy said, looking back at Jack as Wonderment arched his neck and huffed into her hands.

"It's actually an interesting one," Jack said, watching Wonderment stamp a hoof and whinny down the aisle as Sunday Punch was led by, the damp gray answering back with an excited grunt.

"He was born in Ireland at Coolmore, bought at the Doncaster yearling sales in England by Marion Jones, sent to France to train up until this January where he was shipped out to California to begin training under Baffert before Jones died. There was a dispersal sale of all of her stock back in England. Wonderment was sent back to Europe, sold to Darren Starks, an American, who then shipped him back to California. Turns out Starks saw the colt working at Santa Anita and traveled to England to buy him at the sale. Starks is one of Lucas' owners, and took the colt out of Baffert's barn and dumped him in Lucas', where he was shipped here to begin his two-year-old season."

Cindy looked wide eyed at Jack and took a deep breath. "That's certainly a story," she said.

"Get's better," Jack said, giving her a look. "He's by Wonder's Champion, out of the famous English miler Brown Eyed Beauty."

At the name of Champion, Cindy went speechless again. All she could do was look between the colt and Jack, wondering if it was true.

"This is one of Champion's?" Cindy asked, trying to realize what she was looking at. She had thought it would be nearly impossible to find one of Champion's offspring in the states, since the sheik had made it clear that he would be breeding Champion to only the best of Europe, and mainly to his own mares. Cindy's mouth was gaping open, and Laura calmly reached over and nudged her.

"Going to have a heart attack?" she asked.

"I..." Cindy stammered, suddenly blown over with another, more urgent question. "Who's riding him?

Jack gave her a little look that told her she shouldn't ask what she already knew.

"You are."

Cindy was walking on air. The days before the Amsterdam flew past and the heat, the awkwardness, and the loneliness disappeared in one fell swoop. Sunday Punch was ready for the race, and Fresh Tactics was made the morning line favorite for the Jim Dandy despite his late season start against Kentucky Derby also-rans.

The summer house in Saratoga was transformed to a hotel, putting up Jack and Lucas, who were happy to stay there. Even Ryan was flying in to stay the weekend with his first real success story, Linebacker, starting in the Jim Dandy. Laura hadn't been enthusiastic about it, but Cindy couldn't say no and secretly she didn't think Laura seemed too upset about her ex-boyfriend sharing a house with them in the first place.

Cindy had already started to work Wonderment, riding him under Jack's guidance. The big chestnut colt reminded Cindy so much of his sire that just sitting on him nearly brought tears to her eyes, but she swallowed them down and rode. The colt had a ground swallowing stride, and perfect build. If it weren't for his face markings, Cindy had decided, he would almost be a carbon copy of Champion. She had to admit to herself that she was already dreaming of the Triple Crown.

The night before the Amsterdam saw a packed house. Bottles of wine were uncorked and Cindy found herself on her fifth glass before she was even aware of counting them. It was sticky outside, and with the doors and windows open there was little relief from the heat generated by the crowd and effects of the wine. Cindy found herself wandering around the pool in efforts to cool off, wishing she could kick off her designer shoes and dip her legs in the inviting water.

"You look great tonight," she heard a voice behind her that she half expected to be Jack. She had hoped it would be, but she knew his voice and quelled the excitement in her when she turned and saw David walking out of the house.

"Thank you," Cindy said, looking down at herself. She had pulled on an airy blue dress at the last minute, and was still wishing the party had been casual enough to wear shorts without getting a confused glance.

"Damn hot out," David said, stopping next to her and looking at the pool.

"You have that right," Cindy chuckled, taking a sip of her wine and looking back at where David had come, searching.

"You're probably waiting for someone else," David said, apologizing when he caught her looking past him. At that, Cindy did a double take, looking up at him.

"Excuse me?" she asked, narrowing her eyes and trying to keep her heart from jumping out of her chest.

"Jack, right?" David asked. "I mean, it's natural. Him being your boyfriend, I'm guessing you're looking for him."

Cindy nearly choked and had to reach up to her mouth to catch the wine that she thought must be dribbling past her lips.

"No, I'm just getting some fresh air," Cindy defended. "And Jack's not my boyfriend."

"He's not?" David asked, giving Cindy a confused glance before looking back at the house. They could both see Jack talking with Ryan just inside the doors. Cindy stared at him quietly, trying to come up with words.

"No, he's never been," she said looking away when she caught Jack glancing back out toward the pool. Cindy stared down at the rippling water and took a gulp of wine.

"Oh," David said. "My mistake then."

"Out of curiosity," Cindy caught him before he took a step away. "Why did you think that?"

He laughed, shoving his hands in the pockets of his expensive pants and digging the toe of his shoe against the hard stone of the porch. "I saw you two in the parking lot. And after the other day when he brought that colt up I just figured you and he were something. But I turned out to be wrong. I have been before."

Cindy frowned, still trying to keep her heart beat down. She was failing miserably, especially when she saw Jack and Ryan walking out onto the porch.

"I'll see you tomorrow," David said, touching her softly on the arm before walking away, nodding toward Jack and Ryan on his way back into the house. Cindy smiled to them as someone turned on the outdoor speakers and the music playing inside crackled to life on the porch.

"Having a striking conversation?" Jack asked, abruptly taking Cindy's free hand and spinning her to dance in time with the music. Automatically she flushed, shaking her head. There was no way on earth Jack would ever know they had been talking about him. Of course, Cindy didn't have to think twice about the possibilities of Jack already knowing what was going on based on context clues.

"Nothing more striking than your conversation, Jack," Cindy smiled up at him, trying not to spill the last few mouthfuls of wine that sloshed in the glass as he spun her and brought her back up to him.

"Why thank you," he smiled at her, and Cindy dipped her head down, curling her hand holding the wine glass behind his shoulder as she diverted her eyes to look at her hand in his. She took a breath and refused to think. That made things much easier to deal with.

"That's it," Ryan said, snaking his hand in and stealing Cindy away. "I'm cutting in."

Cindy laughed as she was swooped away, a few drops of wine finally jumping out of the glass and trailed down the sides to the rock ground.

"I missed you so, Ryan," Cindy kidded with the other man as Jack picked up his beer from the patio table and drank.

"Damn straight," Ryan grinned. "No one can get on without me around, I've noticed. Have you seen Laura today? She's a wreck."

"Well, that might be because you're here and not away in California where she's used to you being," Cindy pointed out.

"Don't wreck my mind set, Cindy," he said jokingly.

"Okay. Ignorance is bliss, after all," Cindy agreed, swaying along with Ryan until the song was over and Cindy saw Laura march out of the house. Cindy spun away from Ryan and walked over to Jack, leaning against the rock wall that divided her parent's property from the neighbor's. He leaned against it next to her, the beer bottle dangling in his hand while they both watched Laura and Ryan through a steady stream of people moving out into the fresh air.

"What's up, Jack?" Cindy asked, nudging him and taking another mouthful of wine.

"Nothing much, Cin," Jack responded, looking over at her and reaching out to touch the blue material of the dress. "Nice."

"Thanks," Cindy said a little too quickly, feeling her heartbeat speed up. She returned the favor, plucking at the white dress shirt sleeve he had rolled up his arm from the heat.

"Oh, you flatter me, Cin," he joked, and Cindy shrugged.

"That's what I'm here for. To further everyone's swelling egos."

He laughed and took a drink of his beer, finishing it off.

"Which number is that?" she asked him, cocking her head as he set the empty bottle on the table.

"Not sure. I think I lost count somewhere between six and nine."

"Good Christ," Cindy snorted, finishing off her wine and setting down the glass. "How drunk are you?"

"Not so much," he answered.

"How is it that you're never that drunk no matter how much you drink?"

"You've never seen me drink too much," he told her.

"That's a lie," she pointed at him.

"Oh?" he asked, grabbing her finger.

"Yeah, 'oh,'" Cindy laughed, pulling her finger away and nearly falling over, tipsy on the high heels of the designer shoes and wine. This she didn't worry about, since Jack was there to grab her wrist and steady her, letting Cindy lean forward to rest against his frame.

"I think that was one glass of wine too many," Cindy told him, her voice muffled against his shirt.

"That's my little lightweight," Jack laughed, folding an arm over her back to keep her stationary against him. Cindy breathed with light rasps, wanting to just close her eyes and curl up there. The wine was starting to cloud up her head, and already all she wanted to do was sleep right there.

The part of her brain that was still unclouded by the alcohol was triumphant. There wasn't even a need to blush at the scene. In fact, a small smile formed on Cindy's mouth as she watched Laura and Ryan start to dance in front of her heavy eyes.

"So what do you think about them?" Cindy asked Jack, curling her arms around herself while he still let her rest against him.

"I think he'll probably stick around for a while," Jack said. "If Linebacker does moderately well in the Jim Dandy he might head on to the Travers and Ryan will be around New York a little this summer."

"No, Jack," Cindy shook her head a little against his chest. "Laura and Ryan. Come on. A prediction."

"Always about the romance, huh?"

"Always," Cindy smiled, shifting her weight just a little.

"You know how they are," he said, and Cindy nodded, happily listening to his heart beating and the vibration of his voice. "They'd be happy fighting forever."

Cindy made a small agreeing noise.

"What the hell is this?" she heard Lucas boom at them as he walked out the french doors and walked over to them, handing Jack another bottle of beer.

"Can't stand straight," Cindy muttered at him and Jack laughed.

"You hear that, Lucas?" Jack asked him. "Your jockey can't stand straight."

"Damn, that's a problem," Lucas said, drinking. "I guess I can put Laura up on Sunday tomorrow if need be."

"Don't you dare," Cindy pointed at Lucas, still refusing to stop leaning against Jack. She was enjoying it too much. "Besides. She's in no better shape."

"Yeah," Lucas said, looking back at Ryan and Laura, who were in deep discussion, and rolled his eyes. "Predictions?"

"Happy fighting forever," Cindy responded.

"Good one," Lucas said, and Cindy jumped when she felt Jack pinch her side.

"Jack!"

"Couldn't help myself."

"You never can."

"Part of the charm."

"Whatever," Cindy said, nearly starting to fall asleep against him again.

"We'd better get this jockey to bed," Cindy could dimly hear Lucas saying, and she didn't want to move. It was late, and all she wanted to do was sit and rest her head against Jack's chest for the remainder of the night. She also knew that wasn't a possibility. The crowd was thinning out, and she felt satisfied that she had seen the end of the pre-race celebration.

"Hey, Cin," Jack said, pushing away from the wall and collecting Cindy so she could get her balance. She could still feel his hand on her back. "You feel like sleeping?"

"I thought I was sleeping," Cindy murmured.

"That's all I need to know," Jack said, pointing Cindy toward the house and walking her through the doors, following close behind her.

"Why is wine so evil?" Cindy asked him as he followed her up the stairs, spotting her.

"As far as I'm concerned, wine is far from evil," he said, walking her down the hallway and into her room, letting her plop on the bed.

"That's because you'd take advantaged of me, wouldn't you?" she asked, laying down and smiling at him.

"Oh, in a heartbeat, Cin," he said and she laughed.

"I knew it."

He left her room with a smirk and she rolled over, smiling and falling asleep, waiting out the night for the coming morning.


	6. Chapter 6

6.

Before the heat had burned off the morning mist, Cindy sat in the muggy atmosphere on the back of Sunday Punch, letting the colt bound down the track. The gray was all spitfire, his multicolored mane waving in the heavy air, and his shoulders and chest already darkened with sweat. Cindy didn't intend on riding him much longer, so she brought him down to a smooth canter and rode out the colt's ground eating stride.

As she went by the gap, no one was there to watch her. Lucas was up in the timer's stand, watching from a distance. David was up in the barn, preparing Wonderment. Cindy did not know where Jack was so she continued to stride along on Sunday's back, letting the colt ease himself down to a perky walk down the outside of the track.

It had been a loud morning. Cindy was amazed that she had come away from last night without a hangover, but Laura was much worse off. In fact, Cindy had ridden Fresh Tactics in his morning work for her roommate, leaving Laura at home in bed. Cindy had refused to eat breakfast and gotten to the track in time to take out the first string, working up to the moment with Sunday. She was still wondering if she really hadn't eluded a hangover. Nervousness was quickly becoming confused with sickness, but already Cindy hardly had time to wonder about it. In two hours she would have to be in the jockey's room, and if nervousness was actually sickness that was when she would worry.

Cindy pulled Sunday up at the gap when she saw David walking down with a groom, Wonderment by his side. The young chestnut colt was staring off into the distance, his ears pricked and his mane softly waving in the light breeze. Cindy looked up at the sky and noticed with mixed emotions that rain clouds were approaching.

"Rain?" Cindy groaned, leaping off of Sunday and handing him off to the groom, giving her future mount a firm pat on his sweaty neck.

"So it looks," David responded, turning to give the groom instructions before Sunday disappeared in the shed row.

"I have to say I'm not sure if I like that," Cindy said. "When is it supposed to hit?"

"Later this afternoon," David assured her. "I don't think it will do much to the track. Hopefully it will just make this humidity lighten up a little."

"It never works the way you want," Cindy frowned, walking up to Wonderment. The chestnut snorted and shook himself. Cindy noticed he was already beginning to look damp underneath his saddle and girth.

"Lucas and I have decided on a four furlong breeze," David told her, giving her a leg up onto the colt's back. "He might be headed to his maiden at the end of this month, so it's time to start working him."

"Okay," Cindy nodded, settling herself in the saddle.

"You'll be going out of the gate. Lucas wants a nice, stable work. Don't push him. Also, wait until we get John and Kylie out here to work with you."

Cindy paused at the gap, looking down at David.

"Have you seen Jack anywhere?" she asked. "I lost him when we got in."

"Nope," David shook his head. "Haven't seen him today."

"Okay," Cindy said, turning Wonderment and heading out to the track to warm up. Cindy let Wonderment dance down the track, her mind not focused on what she was doing. The rain clouds were just showing up over the grandstand at Saratoga, and Jack was nowhere to be found. She knew riding Wonderment was her top priority at the moment, but she found her mind wandering away from the task at hand. Out of the corner of her eye she saw John and Kylie ride out onto the track on their own horses, a gelding and another colt that weren't as blue-blooded as Wonderment, but had the kick and speed to keep up with him for as long as it took. That was all that Lucas was looking for in them, which was saddening to Cindy. Wonderment was Lucas' star two-year-old at Saratoga, and these horses, who had names and promise, were nothing more than companions for Wonderment.

Softly, Cindy slowed the colt down; meeting the others near the gate after everyone had warmed up adequately. Wonderment was to go into the second hole, and Cindy leaned forward as they were loaded, rubbing her hand against the colt's withers. The chestnut snorted softly at the gate in front of him, but stood still, eying the gelding to his outside.

Then the gate clanged open unceremoniously and Wonderment charged out of it, all fire and grace. He didn't take the lead immediately, but that was the point. He didn't like taking the lead immediately, and so Cindy let him lie in wait on the other colt's hindquarters, catching the dirt from the other horse's hooves. At some point in every horse's career they had to learn that getting hit with dirt was part of their life. Wonderment didn't seem to mind at all.

As they swept past the third major marker, Cindy began to work on Wonderment, giving him a slight push. The colt responded and took charge, bounding up the other colt's side within three strides and pushed his nose in front. The gelding was also coming on strongly, roaring up on the outside as the three horses galloped abreast down the final furlong.

Cindy pushed her hands into the red colt's mane, feeling a smile coming to her face as Wonderment switched leads and blew past the last marker. She stood up in the stirrups, collecting the colt and slowing him with the others.

"Damn," John whistled, pulling up next to her on the other colt. "I don't think we'll ever catch him."

"Shut up, John," Kylie laughed, tugging her gelding down to a manageable canter. "It's not like we're talking about the next Secretariat."

Cindy grinned secretly between them.

Before the races for the day had started, Cindy was rummaging around in her trunk, trying to put together her spilled duffle bag and to discern and rescue her things from Laura's scattered belongings. The sky above her was dark and angry, the clouds swollen. So far there had been no thunder or lightning, and by the stiff breeze riding over the track Cindy hoped it would blow over. There was nothing more disgusting than riding through a mud pit.

"You need some help?" she heard a voice approaching, accompanied by footsteps crunching on gravel. She peered over her trunk and saw David approaching, one hand in the pocket of his pants and the other holding his jacket. She noticed he had changed to his professional, tailored suit. It was only one of the few times she had seen him dress as wealthy as he was.

"Oh, no," Cindy shook her head. "I've got the last of it."

"How's Laura feeling?" he asked, stopping next to her and looking in the trunk.

"Oh, Laura," Cindy groaned, looking at her roommate's things. She had forgotten that she had to get them together. She had promised Laura that when they had run into each other between the backside and the jockey's room.

"What?" David asked, looking at her as he picked up Laura's racing crop.

"I forgot I've got to get all her stuff to her," Cindy explained. "She's waiting in the jockey's room."

"I'll help," David offered, picking up some of Laura's equipment and putting it in the bag as Cindy set her duffel down and did the same. She smiled her thanks as she shoved everything in the bag and zipped it up, barely brushing her hands over his to lift it out of the trunk. She jumped back.

"Sorry," she said, slamming the car door shut and turning to grab her bag also.

"You know, those are heavy," he told her, ignoring her mumbled apology.

Cindy let out a short laugh. "I can handle it."

"Let me carry it," he said, picking up her bag before she could grab it. Cindy stalled and looked at him carefully, clutching her car keys in her left hand and carrying Laura's bag in her right.

"Well," Cindy paused, shrugging. "I guess it couldn't hurt."

"Of course not," David laughed, walking with her away from the backside. "These two bags combined probably weigh more than you."

"I think that's an exaggeration," Cindy told him, walking down to the grandstand.

"Maybe so," David said, looking over at her. The grandstand was still empty, but as Cindy looked at her watch she realized she had less than fifteen minutes before the gates opened and she had to be in the jockey's room. Unconsciously she began to move a little faster.

"Hey," David said. "Where's the fire?"

"The track opens in less then fifteen minutes," Cindy pointed out. "I've got to rush."

"You feel like running?"

"Okay, I'm not in that desperate of a need to get there."

"Just what I thought."

Cindy laughed, walking up the steps and through the door to get to the jockey's room. She paused in the hallway, looking over at David.

"My bag, sir," she said, smiling at him. He handed it to her with a casual bow. Cindy arched an eyebrow and said her thank yous.

"Thanks," she added, nodding to him and turning for the jockey's room.

"Oh, hey," David said suddenly, grabbing Cindy's arm. Cindy started and turned around, looking up at him. David seemed just as tall as Jack, and she found it difficult to look up at him.

"I was wondering if you knew about the dinner tonight," David said, letting go of her. Cindy furrowed her eyebrows and squeezed her hands around the handles of the bags. They were beginning to ache, and she wanted to set one or both down for a minute.

"Dinner?" Cindy asked, as though she hadn't heard or understood him.

"Yeah, a few of the owners in this race are pretty good friends and they're having a dinner afterward around seven. The Sunday Punch crew is invited - you, Jack, Lucas, and I - and I was wondering if you were interested in coming along with me."

Cindy couldn't have been more shocked, and she found that her mouth had dropped open. She had forgotten about the dinner, and after hardly seeing either Lucas or Jack all day she didn't have a reminder.

"Oh," she stumbled, trying to recover. "Oh, right. I think I had forgotten about that with all of the activity around here," she attempted.

"You're going?" David asked.

"Yeah," Cindy said quickly. "Oh, yeah. I mean, I was planning to just go with Lucas and Jack while they're staying with me."

"Of course," David nodded. "I guess I'll see you there."

"Yeah," Cindy nodded, more than a little confused.

"Good luck in the race, Cin. You've been stellar with Sunday so far."

"Thanks," Cindy said, watching him walk on down the hall. Cindy stared after him, rolled her eyes with frustration, and pushed her way into the jockey's room.

"Could you have taken longer?" Laura asked the moment she walked in. Cindy groaned at her and dropped her roommates bag at her feet, kicking it over to Laura.

"Don't thank me or anything," Cindy replied sarcastically. "It's really no problem to haul your heavy junk around."

Laura laughed and opened up the duffel bag, pulling out a few things. "Thanks, Cin. I owe you."

"Yeah, you do," Cindy replied, realizing she sounded uptight and annoyed. She never liked guys asking her out for a few basic reasons. It meant that someone had been thinking about her in a way that didn't make her comfortable, and just having to live through the whole process of turning someone down exhausted her.

"What's wrong?" Laura asked, right on cue. Cindy shook her head.

"Nothing's wrong," Cindy replied. "I'm just riding in the first race. I need to get ready."

"Nah," Laura shook her head. "Something's not right here. I've got a horse in the first race, and I'm just now recovered from last night. I don't look like you."

"Laura," Cindy snapped. "I'm not talking about it, okay?"

"Fine," Laura held up her hands, giving Cindy and exasperated look before picking up her flak jacket and slipping it on over her tank top. "Pretend I said nothing."

"I will," Cindy replied, pulling on the gold and white colors of the owners she was representing in the first race. She tucked the slippery material into her white pants and pulled her thick hair into a ponytail, wishing she could somehow avoid David for the rest of the summer and knowing it just wasn't a possibility.

Later on in the day, Cindy sat miserably in the women's side of the jockey's room, wiping the mud and sweat from her face. She was alone, and the preparations for the Jim Dandy were raging on the track. There was a television inside the jockey's room, and Cindy had it on and positioned so she could see it behind her in the mirror as she cleaned up.

It was pouring out, and every time she glanced behind her to see the television she could barely see the horses warming up in the deluge on the backside. The camera was focusing in on Fresh Tactics, the chestnut colt soaked with water and Laura not looking much better. Cindy sighed and splashed her face with water, getting rid of the rest of the mud. By the time she was slipping into her dark blue and red silks of Sunday Punch's owners, the field for the Jim Dandy was already coming down to the wire. Fresh Tactics was hot on Linebacker's heels, and beginning to push past the other colt by the time the finish line flashed overhead. Laura was the winner by two inches of a nose.

Cindy had never really taken a chance to take a long look at the competition in the Amsterdam. She knew their stats, and how they ran and what they were expected to do, but as far as sitting down and looking at them she hadn't been interested until now. As she stood under an umbrella, staring at the soaked horses walking through the fat drops of rain and splash in the puddles along the way, she had a feeling that she had missed her chance.

There were eight horses to contend with. Three were top notch sprinters with records of grade one wins dating back to the year before. High Fever Blues was the favorite, a big bay that looked rather tired and dull in the rain. Only Man was the second favorite, a small and delicate chestnut that was a well known mudder. The most famous of the bunch was the Gotham Stakes winner from the spring, Complaint, who had been on the Triple Crown trail before it became clear he wasn't cut out for distance. Brokenhearted was the only filly in the race, a lightly built bay with a history of beating the colts.

Cindy couldn't help letting her eye catch on Streamline, a colt owned by Townsend Acres. He was a big chestnut by Townsend Spirit, a champion sprinter and well-known sire. The other three were toss up factors. Eagle Bird, Matador, and Can't Be Touched were the long shots with reason. Cindy watched them go by without interest.

"High Fever Blues isn't looking like he's interested in the rain," David commented, holding the umbrella over both of them. Cindy didn't look up at him, but nodded her agreement. "You're right. I think he's a little off today," she agreed.

"The crowds are making Only Man the favorite," David said, keeping her up to speed. "You'll have to watch out for him. He loves the mud and with those shoes on he might not be stopped."

"I can catch him," Cindy said, feeling her inflated courage rise to the challenge again.

David smiled over her and she didn't see him, keeping her eyes locked on Sunday Punch as she pranced by with his groom, flicking his dark ears back and forth. The horses had not been saddled yet, and the colt's dappled gray back was wet and darker from the rain. The groom walking at his side wore a slicked down poncho, water dripping off the plastic.

Cindy stood in her blue and red silks, plucking at the soaked material and watching the water seep out around the pads of her fingers. With a sigh, Cindy let go of the silks and shifted her weight with impatience. David was making small talk, but she was growing tired of it and as the rain continued to patter around them in large drops all she really wanted was to get the race going so she could dry off.

Finally, Sunday Punch was brought to a halt in front of them and out of the corner of Cindy's eye she could see Jack and Lucas walking up. Both looked somber and silent under black umbrellas, and Cindy suddenly felt like she was at a funeral rather than a horse race.

"Long time, no see," Cindy called out to Jack, who looked up her way and didn't smile. Cindy raised an eyebrow as she felt David shift behind her. Part of her wanted to shake both of them out of their obvious dislike of each other, but she settled for giving Jack a nudge as he stopped next to her, snaking her arm out from under the umbrella and catching the arm of his dry suit.

"What?" Jack asked her, cracking a grin for the sake of doing it. Cindy looked up at him and scowled. "Did you miss me?"

"Oh, shut up, Jack," Cindy shook her head, turning away and watching Lucas saddle up Sunday. The compact gray snorted again and shook his mane, splattering everyone with a shower of raindrops. The paddock was fairly quiet, and Cindy jumped when she heard the call for riders up.

Sunday was dancing on his toes, tossing his head up and down with energy despite the dull day. David moved away with the umbrella and Cindy felt the first large drops of rain connect with her face and stick to her eyelashes. She turned to Jack with a silent question and he gave her a leg up without a word, letting his hand rest on her calf for a little longer than Cindy had anticipated. Then again, she scolded herself, she was just looking for signs that seemed good to her. He lifted his hand a second later and gave Sunday a pat on the neck.

She turned away and gathered the reins as the groom led them through the rain and to the track. She didn't look back.

The track was slop, and Cindy wasn't thinking. The only thing on her mind was Jack's silent face, and it nearly made her want to scream. Everything was wonderful last night. There was no reason to avoid her as far as she was concerned. Cindy set her mouth in a thin line and rose in the stirrups, feeling Sunday pick up the pace and leap into a warm up gallop. They passed by the gate and rolled into the backstretch, kicking up mud and slicing through the rain.

The fat raindrops slapped at Cindy's cheeks, but she didn't bother to brush them away. She turned the colt with her escort and approached the gate, letting Sunday dance along next to Brokenhearted, who squealed at the colt and flicked her black tail with agitation.

"She's not one for the boys," her jockey laughed over to Cindy, who smiled wryly as Sunday blissfully ignored the antics of the filly.

"I don't think this one is ready for the girls yet anyway," she called back, patting Sunday's soaked neck as the colt bounced into the gate, tossing his head up when the assistant starter took a grab for his bridle.

"Whoa," Cindy muttered, sitting still as the colt hit the side of the stall just as a roll of thunder shook the clouds in the west. The storm would be getting stronger soon, she knew. The track might close after this race.

In front of her, a new wave of rain beat down the track as the rest of the horses lined up in the gate. Cindy pulled down her rain slicked goggles and gripped onto the rubber lining of the reins, weaving her fingers into a hunk of mane.

The gates slammed open.

Sunday roared out of the gate, splashed through the early puddles that had formed underneath his hooves, and joined the fray of other horses battling for the lead. Cindy pushed the colt, who had precious little time to find a spot and run. The race was only six furlongs and time wasted at the beginning would prove disastrous.

Only Man was already on the lead, with High Fever Blues on his flank and already rushing up to challenge. Cindy settled Sunday behind the leaders on the rail, where the colt liked to run.

Then the clouds opened up. Cindy blinked as everything around her turned into a monsoon. Mud was still being thrown into her face, but she could only see outlines of the horses in front of her. Quickly, she stripped her first layer of goggles and found High Fever Blues and Only Man still battling down the stretch and into the turn. Brokenhearted was to their immediate right, with Streamline and Matador running just behind them.

Then she could see nothing.

Cursing, Cindy whipped off the next layer of goggles and found herself in the middle of the turn. Sunday was already moving on his own, picking up speed by his own momentum and excitement. Cindy encouraged him, pushing softly with her hands. The colt felt the push and began to really move, cutting into High Fever Blues' lead and coming up on the inside of Only Man.

Suddenly they were in the homestretch and Sunday was running abreast with High Fever Blues, battling for the lead. Cindy changed her goggles again and brought out the whip as they flashed by the quarter mile marker, feeling Sunday quivering with energy. She gave him the go ahead.

The gray switched leads and bounded by High Fever Blues, skipping through the mud and the downpour. Then, on the outside, Cindy saw Brokenhearted and Streamline coming on, sprinting all out to the finish. Cindy showed Sunday the whip and smacked his hindquarters to get the colt's attention. With that, the colt put on another round of speed and slid through the finish first, covered in mud and dripping wet. The rain didn't stop to approve.

That evening the rain still hadn't stopped. Cindy was standing on the second floor of the hotel before the bay of windows that overlooked the track and wondered if the rain was planning on stopping before it washed the entire track away. As predicted, all other races on the card had been canceled. Just after Sunday had left the winner's circle the rain had been joined with a lightning storm and the track shut down.

Cindy stood in her gray suit, her hands crossed over her white silk top and tailored jacket. The outfit had been a birthday present from her mother several years ago, when Cindy had been training Glory's Joy. Her mom had thought that dresses looked too unprofessional in the winner's circle, where Joy had been several times during her time with Cindy. The suit had made Cindy look at least three years older, and now Cindy could hardly wear it without thinking back to the gray filly and how Joy had always tried to rub her sweaty head on it after finishing first. She smiled at the memory that was still clear as day.

"You clean up nice," she heard David say behind her, and she turned briefly to meet him.

"Thanks," she smiled, turning back to the track. "I guess I was pretty dirty after coming off of the track."

"You looked like a living pile of mud," David said, and Cindy laughed.

"No kidding," he added, and she nodded.

"I'm still shocked we won," she said. "I could hardly see half the time. What you saw was all Sunday making it up as he went."

"It takes an excellent jockey to give all the credit to the horse," David kidded and Cindy smiled.

"Not really," she said. "I'm not that excellent, and we were partially lucky. Only Man didn't fire, and High Fever Blues didn't like the mud."

"Don't qualify it like that," David said. "You two won fairly, mud or not. Now get back into the restaurant. It's dessert time."

"But I don't eat dessert," Cindy pointed out.

"Then sit and watch us eat," David said. "I'm looking forward to it."

Cindy laughed and followed him back into the main hall, where the celebration was still pushing on. The little get together of owners had turned into a massive party, and the hotel ballroom had been rented out to accommodate the number of people. Owners, trainers, jockeys, exercise riders, grooms, and all numbers of other people were mixing in the room. It was one of the few parties Cindy had seen where everyone had been invited.

She followed David back to their table, sliding into her seat between Lucas and Laura, who was busy talking with Ryan. Lucas gave her a smile and then continued to talk with Sunday's owner, a young cooperate man from Wall Street. Cindy had just recently met him and had been impressed.

Cindy leaned forward in her chair and sat her elbows on the table, resting her chin against her hands as she looked over the table. Everyone was in conversation, including Jack, who was talking to one of the other women jockeys. Cindy recognized her as Sarah McCormick, one of Saratoga's most successful woman jockeys. She had had a mount in the Jim Dandy and came in third.

"Hey, Cin?"

That's when she realized that she had spaced out and was staring. Jack and Sarah were both looking at her as though she had two heads, and automatically she felt herself flush in embarrassment.

"Are you okay?" Jack asked her, and she nodded quickly.

"Yeah," she cleared her throat. "I was just looking at the dance floor."

Sarah cocked a head at her and laughed. "You look tired, Cin. Maybe you should get some rest."

"Maybe," Cindy muttered, looking down at her empty place setting.

She heard Jack say something quietly and looked up to see his empty chair, then she jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Come on, Cin," he said, nudging her out of her chair.

"What are you doing?" she asked him, rising without much protest.

He took her hand without an answer and led her to the dance floor, turning her around in front of him and moving to the slow music. Cindy smiled a little against his shoulder and suddenly wished that she had worn a dress instead.

"You know what?" He asked, his voice close to her ear.

"What?" Cindy asked, pulling her head back from his shoulder to look up at him.

"I'm sorry I wasn't around much today," he apologized. "I know it's a little pointless to come up here to see you and then spend most of the time not seeing you."

Cindy stared at him, trying to grasp his words and mortified to find herself flushing again. She had not anticipated either of them admitting that he would come up to Saratoga for anything more than the races.

"Where were you anyway?" she managed to ask, sticking with neutral questions.

"Around," he said, and she rolled her eyes.

"Oh, yeah, that explains a lot," she said sarcastically, letting out a surprised noise when he dipped her and brought her back up to him.

"Notify me first the next time you plan to do that," she said, laughing and clinging to his hand and shoulder.

"Okay, Cin," he nodded, lowering enough to touch foreheads. They had nearly stopped dancing, and Cindy couldn't stop staring at his eyes.

She paused for a second, her mouth opening but finding no words. "Promise?" she finally asked.

"I promise," he answered easily.

Then they started to dance again and Cindy looked over his shoulder as they rotated, her eyes drifting over the tables. She could see Lucas talking, the other dancers, Laura smiling at her, David kicked back in his chair, and Sarah sitting with her head resting on her hand, watching them as they shifted and rotated away.


	7. Chapter 7

7.

The rain hadn't cooled down Saratoga. In fact, the puddles of water still left in the potholes of the backside only simmered and steamed, as though helping to push along the rising humidity. Cindy could feel the heavy air as she walked back from the track, tugging at her flak jacket and shedding it as quickly as she could as though she couldn't breathe with it on. Everything was stifling and sweaty. When she got back to the office, she bypassed David without a word and opened the small fridge by the desk, grabbing a bottle of water and gulping down half of its contents.

She stopped when she saw his amused look and pulled the bottle from her mouth, wiping her lips with the back of her hand. "What are you so amused about?" she asked him. "You who gets to sit in the air conditioning."

"Hey, I'm not always sitting in the AC," he defended. "It's murder out there. I know."

Cindy collapsed in one of the chairs opposite the desk and drank again as the phone rang. David moved to pick it up, which Cindy regarded without interest. She finished off the rest of the water, letting her eyes wander over the win photos hanging across the wood paneled walls.

It had been a week since the Amsterdam. Lucas and Jack were long gone. Cindy had anticipated a quiet house afterward, but didn't get her wish. Ryan had extended his stay for the Travers, and with that decision ultimately came the bickering between himself and Laura. Through the past few days, Cindy had had enough of their arguments and found herself at the track longer than usual. The two were impossible to get through. Usually there was always something for them to argue about, and having the two in close quarters for most of the day was more than Cindy could bear.

Cindy took another drink and found a magazine to fan herself off with, enjoying the cool breeze she managed to make. The only thing that could stop her from cooling off was her cell phone, which began to persistently ring on the desk in front of her. Before she could react, David snatched it without blinking and tossed it her way as he talked to the nameless identity on the phone.

"Hello?" Cindy asked as she put the little phone to her ear, getting up and regretfully leaving the office to walk down the shed row. There were large fans working over time, but the stables were partially open to the air and that meant they were no shelter from the heat.

"Hi, honey. This is dad," she heard Ian respond on the other end. "How are you?"

"Hi, dad," Cindy said, taking another sip of water. "I would be tired of the heat and humidity, and working Sunday Punch to the King's Bishop. What's up with you?"

There was a small pause before Ian said, "Do you think you've got some extra room in the house up there?"

Instantly Cindy shut her eyes and suppressed a groan. "You're coming up to Saratoga with Adriatic?"

"No, we're leaving Adriatic and a fleet of other horses in California for the rest of the summer," Ian answered her. "After he won the Swaps at Hollywood Park we're going to point him to the Pacific Classic before the Breeders' Cup starts out at Santa Anita. Ash wants to stay with him out there."

"Then who are you bringing to Saratoga?" Cindy asked, sitting down on a bench outside to watch a few of the last string come back to the barns for a walk and a bath. "Wonder of Roma?"

"No, he's staying out in California for a couple of turf races," Ian said. "I'm bringing a few of our two-year-olds out to Saratoga with Josie.

"Two-year-olds," Cindy muttered, thankful that at least Ashleigh wouldn't be making an appearance. At least, that was her assumption if two of Whitebrook's big guns were being aimed at the west coast. Fleet Goddess' son, Adriatic, was a monster on the dirt, and Wonder of Roma was burning on the turf. "Okay, I'll bite. Who are you bringing?"

"We've got three stars this year," Ian said proudly. "War Hero, Heliacal, and Angelica Tree."

Cindy nodded mutely. She knew the names and their pedigrees through phone calls from Josie and Ann . These three were the cream of their crop, and Cindy had been hearing about them since their birth.

"Okay," Cindy said. "I think there is room for you and Josie in the house. I've got Ryan Lockridge staying with us for the summer, also. His colt will be running in the Travers later this month. But, Josie and I can bunk together so you can have your own room."

"Sounds good," Ian said, sounding like he was shouting over something. Cindy figured he must be immersed in the traffic around the track. "We'll be shipping out tomorrow. I hope you'll be around."

"Why wouldn't I be?" Cindy asked, laughing lightly and trying to cover up her worry. It was nothing against her parents, but she didn't like the idea of herself and Whitebrook racing in such close quarters. It wasn't just the memories that made her uncomfortable. It was the notion that at some point Whitebrook's three young stars would start to shine and Ashleigh would most likely want to fly in for their races. The last time Cindy had seen Ashleigh was at the Breeders' Cup two years ago, when Res Mira raced against Bosta and won handily. Cindy had Ashleigh's smug look of importance after that race ingrained in her head forever.

"Great," Ian interrupted Cindy's increased seething. "Our flight should get in around one."

"Do you want me to meet you at the airport?" Cindy asked, watching as Streamline was walked by, his chestnut body dark from sweat.

"No need, Cin," Ian said. "We can meet up at Saratoga. We're going to be stabled at barn 24. Now that I think about it, Josie and I will need some help unloading the horses and getting them settled. Hero and Angelica have those wild personalities. You could be a great help."

"Sure," Cindy said, saying it automatically. She caught herself after she had agreed so easily, thinking back when she had said yes without hesitation to anything involving the horses at Whitebrook. She had been young then, and painfully horse crazy. She half laughed, marveling at how quickly dreams could hit the dirt and die.

"Okay, honey," Ian said, the classic point when she knew the phone call was almost over. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Sure," Cindy confirmed, saying her goodbyes and punching the end button.

"God damn it," Cindy said to no one in particular, turning around to look at Sunday Punch and Wonderment, who were stabled next to each other in the shed row. The chestnut was casually ripping hay from the net at his door and the gray was listlessly rubbing his head against the wood of his stall, trying to scratch an itch. Cindy watched them for a minute and then turned around, striding back into the office. As soon as she walked in, David was putting the phone back in the cradle.

"Cindy," he greeted. "Who was that on the phone?"

"My dad," Cindy told him. "He's coming to Saratoga with some horses. I have to meet him tomorrow."

"Might want to cancel that," David said.'

"Why?" Cindy asked, giving him a look that told him she was flustered and easily pissed if he pushed the right buttons.

"Because Lucas wants you back at Belmont tomorrow to work a horse," David told her, standing up and walking around the desk to look at her.

Cindy rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "What horse? Can't someone else do it?"

"He wants you," David said. "The owners are requesting that you be the horse's regular rider and Lucas wants you to work his first breeze."

"When did I get so freaking popular?" Cindy asked, groaning.

"So you don't want to ride him?" David returned.

"I have to ride him, apparently," Cindy sighed, running her hands through her hair. "Who the hell is he, anyway?"

"Silvan," David said. "An Unbridled's Song colt. He's new to the barn and being pointed to the Woodward. Lucas wants you do get a feel for him."

Cindy sighed and nodded. "Alright. Tell Lucas I'm on my way home. I'll be at the track tomorrow morning," she said, pointing her hand that held her cell at him before turning and walking to the door.

"Bright eyed and bushy tailed?" David asked, and Cindy swung around for a second, scowling.

"He'll be lucky if I'm a quarter of that," she swung back, and then pounded out of his office.

"Testy," she heard him mutter under his breath, to which she promptly yelled over her shoulder at him to shut up.

By the time Cindy opened the door to her apartment in Brooklyn she was tired, hungry, and pissed off. Her father and Josie would be at Saratoga tomorrow afternoon and by the time they had landed she would be rushing back north to find them. Laura had put up a fit about more people living in the house after Cindy suggested she share a room with Ryan. Even though Cindy had calmly pointed out that her father owned the house and deserved his own room, the argument had ended when Ryan offered to take up the couch in the living room. Cindy had thanked him as she was halfway out the door to her car.

Now she was home to an empty apartment that stared dully back at her. She flicked on the lights as she walked through, her shoes echoing on the hard wood floors. Everything seemed heavy and dark to her, and it didn't surprise her when she saw rain clouds appearing on the New York horizon.

"Great," Cindy muttered, crossing her arms and staring out the large bank of windows. "That's just perfect."

She turned her back on the windows and found a frozen dinner in the freezer. She popped it into the oven and fell down on the couch, closing her eyes, and thought she should be happier. She was in New York, with Jack, but even knowing that much wasn't enough to get over the fact that her father would be into Saratoga tomorrow. As much as he seemed to promise her that Ashleigh wouldn't make an appearance, Cindy knew better. There was no way she wouldn't come to watch her horses run, and even though Cindy knew she shouldn't be upset about it she found herself upset anyway.

Suddenly the phone rang and she picked it up off of the coffee table.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Cindy?" she heard Jack on the other line.

"Yeah?" Cindy brightened, a smile forming on her face that seemed just enough to break her dim mood.

"What's up?"

"I've got a frozen dinner in the oven," Cindy informed him.

"Take it out," he demanded.

"What?" Cindy asked.

"Take it out," Jack said. "We're going to dinner."

"Are we?" Cindy asked, playing coy.

"We are," Jack replied. "I'm down in the garage. Come down. I don't care what you look like. I don't care if you're in pajamas, sweats, nothing at all. Just get your butt down here."

"You don't want me to dress up?" Cindy asked.

"Well, I'd prefer nothing at all if that's good for you."

"Shut up," Cindy laughed.

"Pajamas are good, too," he conceded.

"I'll be down in a minute," she said, and hung up the phone before grabbing her keys and racing out the door. She was back two seconds later, darting to turn off the oven before she ran out again, slamming the door and locking it after her.

"So they're back," Jack said, sitting across from Cindy in one of Manhattan's finer restaurants. Cindy nodded as she took a sip of her wine.

"Well, my dad is coming up at least. And Josie. You would like Josie."

"Good looking?"

"I don't know," Cindy rolled her eyes at him. "And she has a boyfriend. She wouldn't be interested in you."

"I don't think you're taking all of my good qualities into consideration," he kidded, and Cindy glared at him over the top of her wine glass as she took another sip.

"What good qualities?" Cindy asked playfully.

"The qualities that you seem to like so much," he answered, and in response Cindy found herself blushing furiously.

"You're so mean," Cindy said, putting her glass down and giving him one of those frustrated looks. Right now she couldn't express how much she hated the playful banter, because she knew he was kidding and part of her wished he was serious. The way he was looking at her now almost hurt.

He smiled at her, and she smiled back as she played with her napkin.

"Okay," he said, and she perked up. He was letting go of the playfulness for a second, and she appreciated it more than he knew. "Honestly, Cin, I don't think having your dad and your cousin up to Saratoga is going to be that bad."

"But it means that Ashleigh might come up for race days," Cindy said. "They're bringing three heavy hitters, Jack. They're going to start hitting baseballs out of the park and Ashleigh's going to want to be there to see it."

"Since when did you start talking in metaphors?" Jack asked her, laughing.

"You know what I mean," Cindy said, sitting back as their food was brought out and laid in front of them.

"Cin, you did fine when they came up last time."

"No," Cindy shook her head. "I didn't. I was having nightmares, Jack. Nightmares."

"Nightmares? Are you kidding?" he asked her, giving her one of his precious incredulous looks.

"No," Cindy said. "I'm actually not kidding. And I was crying and confused and angry..."

"You're showing emotion," Jack said, pretending to be shocked.

"Yes, I'm showing emotion," Cindy said, pausing to scoop up some pasta on her fork and slip it into her mouth. "It's not that surprising," she added when she swallowed.

"You really have no idea," Jack said, grinning at her.

"Oh, and I'd like to see you act serious for once," Cindy shot back at him. "I'll be overly emotional and you can act serious."

"Then hell could melt over," Jack sweetly informed her.

"Exactly," Cindy said, pointing her fork at him. "That would be one strange universe."

They ate quietly the rest of the time, talking about New York as they listened to the rainfall outside. The storm had hit the city just as they had left Cindy's apartment, and it hadn't let up more than an hour later.

"It seems like a rainy summer," Cindy muttered almost to herself, watching the rain streak down the glass that separated her from the street.

"Rainier than most," Jack agreed. "Lucas won't like it for Silvan's breeze. He's not a big lover of deep turf."

At the mention of Silvan, Cindy perked up and asked Jack what he knew of the colt.

"Four years old," Jack shrugged. "He's by Unbridled's Song, and out of Heavenly Choir. She's one of those Dynaformer mares."

At the name of the mare, Cindy nearly choked. She stopped eating and pinned Jack with her eyes. "Heavenly Choir? She's a Whitebrook mare."

"Not anymore," Jack shook his head. "She was sold at an auction at Belmont a few weeks ago. In foal to Cryptoclearance."

"Damn," Cindy sighed, rubbing her forehead.

"What?" Jack asked her, finishing off his wine.

"I just always liked that mare," Cindy shrugged, conveniently forgetting to mention Joy. Silvan was Joy's half-brother, and it surprised Cindy that she hadn't been told that the mare had been sent to auction. Of course, after Joy had died Ashleigh had never tried to keep Cindy updated with the mare and her foals. Josie and Ann would keep her updated whenever a foal had been born or sent to auction, and many were. But Ashleigh was easy to never mention Heavenly Choir. It was almost as if Ashleigh was trying to get rid of any reminders that Cindy and Joy had even been at Whitebrook.

"She's at a farm in New York," Jack told her. "Actually, she's in Saratoga Springs. Her owners sent her to board at McMahon."

Cindy sat dumbfounded by the news. The mare who had given her Joy was standing as a broodmare in Saratoga, just miles from her parent's house. Cindy just stared at Jack, trying to find words.

"Really?" she wound up saying, hardly believing it.

"Really, really," Jack answered as lightning cracked across the sky and brought with it a new downpour. "You'll have to go visit her."

"I'll have to," Cindy agreed, nodding. "Thanks for finding that out."

"No problem," Jack said, getting back his credit card after paying the bill. He hadn't let Cindy touch it. "Now let's get out of here."

That morning, Cindy was up early while the rain still drizzled down from dark skies. Horses were jogging through the sloppy dirt track, as others breezed on the firmer inner turf track. Dogs had been set up away from the rail in the grass, the small cones marking an invisible rail to run around.

Cindy stood inside Lucas' main barn, feeling at home and oddly not. The track was still technically closed, but races would commence in September. Horses were being walked through the light drizzle, their bodies steaming as they came back from the track.

Behind her, Jack was tacking up Silvan, a big gray colt that thankfully didn't remind Cindy of Joy. She had been afraid that she would walk into the barn at Belmont and straight into a replica of her prized Thoroughbred filly. Instead she had walked into a big, burly colt. Silvan was paler than his half-sister, with splotches of light gray. Also unlike Joy, who had a rainbow of grays in her coat, his mane and tail were pure white. The only thing truly dark about him was his muzzle and eyes, which seemed nearly pitch black in the dim light of the barn.

"Lucas is waiting up at the timing stand," Jack told Cindy over his shoulder as he tightened the girth and pulled out the colt's legs. "He wants a five furlong breeze on the turf. They've got the dogs up, so be careful around them."

"I saw," Cindy nodded, rubbing her hands together. Unlike Saratoga, the rain in New York seemed to have sucked away most of the heat in the morning, leaving Cindy almost chilled by the difference. She found herself wearing one of Lucas' burgundy windbreakers over her tank and flak jacket.

"Okay," Jack said, nodding to the groom who held the colt. "Let's get down to the track."

The three walked down out of the barn, the nearly white colt dancing and swishing his bleached tail. Cindy eyed the colt carefully, watching for any similarities between him and Joy. He seemed well behaved and eager to work, his dark-tipped ears pricking at the track as he let out a quick whinny of excitement.

"We're pointing him to the Fourstardave Handicap in a week," Jack said. "The same day as the King's Bishop."

"I guess I'll be a little busy that day," Cindy commented. She already had four other rides lined up on other horses besides Sunday Punch in the King's Bishop. Baffert had her up on Fifty Shy, one of his hopes in the Travers. Between Lucas and Frankel she had three other rides in high-class allowance races.

When they stopped at the gap, Cindy got a leg up into the saddle and quickly took stock of her situation. Silvan was a big, well-made colt. As she pulled away from the gap and made her way to the inside track, she discovered his sweeping stride. It was easy to relax in the saddle, and Cindy let the colt warm up quietly. He wasn't pushing for more, and Cindy was glad to let him roll down the outside rail before she moved him to the inside and asked him to pick up the pace.

That was when Silvan burst. The big pale colt took one stride forward and then extended himself at Cindy's urging, shooting down the path of thick grass as they danced down the invisible rail set by the dogs. Cindy gripped onto the rubber reins as the drizzle stung at her cheeks, happy that she had goggles on to save her eyes from the spitting rain.

They pounded down the turf track, Silvan hitting the grass hard and ripping it up behind him. Cindy found herself smiling as the colt tossed his head up and leaped out, playing instead of running. She gripped the reins harder and corrected him, flying by the last marker as the gray colt lowered his head and seemed to glide down to a canter.

"Minute and two flat," Jack said when they got back to the gap, and Cindy grinned in response. "You look like you enjoyed the ride."

"It was excellent, I've got to admit," Cindy said, jumping off of the colt and walking him through the slop of the dirt track and through the gap. "When are you taking him up to Saratoga?"

"Probably a few days before the race," Jack said. "That was Lucas' plan, in any case."

"Well, I just can't wait," Cindy laughed, as the colt butted her hard in the side and rubbed his white forehead against her hip as they walked back up to the barns. Silvan grunted and shook himself thoroughly, drizzling them with a small shower of rainwater just as the light shower turned into a larger storm.

"Looks like a piss poor day," Jack sighed, pulling off the colt's tack and letting the groom walk him out after throwing a sheet over the colt's back. Cindy agreed with him quietly.

"And crap," she added, looking at Jack's watch. "I've got to get back up to Saratoga. My dad and Josie are landing in three hours. I've got to head out of here."

"Drive fast, Cin," Jack laughed as she gave him a quick hug and dashed for her car.

"Don't worry about that," she grinned back at him, pausing at the door of the barn. "And tell Lucas I loved Silvan."

"Will do," Jack called. "Now get the hell out of here."

Cindy laughed and darted for her car in the rain. She jumped into the Audi and slammed the door before taking off for the highway, the tall skyline of New York towering through the rain in the distance.


	8. Chapter 8

8.

When Cindy pulled through the gates at Saratoga's backside, she refused to look at the clock. She knew she was outrageously late, and part of her didn't want to care. The other part was shaking so badly she had to grip hard onto the steering wheel to keep her fingers from trembling.

"This is ridiculous," Cindy admonished herself as she drove straight past Lucas' stable and on to barn 24. "This is just Ian and Josie. They're the two people you love the most. They're family. Stop it."

Cindy steered the Audi down the gravel stretch between stables, the tires splashing in the shallow puddles along the way. While it wasn't raining, everything looked as if it had seen another rainfall. The gravel wasn't kicking up much dust, and the plants hanging along the stables were covered in small droplets of water.

When she turned down the gravel row of barn 24, there was no van waiting outside. Cindy frowned and parked her car next to what looked to be a rental, and got out, taking a deep breath of the track air. Everything smelled like rain, and it wasn't nearly has hot. Smiling at that one pleasure, Cindy shut her car door and walked into the open air barn, looking up and down the row of horses. A few horse head appeared to peer at her, but Cindy turned on her heel and walked down to the office.

"Hello?" Cindy called, knocking on the door and opening it. The office Whitebrook used when they were at Saratoga was empty, and Cindy scowled at the vacant space before turning around and running straight into Josie.

"Oh my God!" Cindy jumped, taking a step back and laughing as she saw the grin on her cousin's face. "You scared me!"

"Sorry," Josie laughed, giving Cindy a hug as the two women walked down the aisle of the stable. "I just heard you from the feed room; I'm getting hay nets set up for the horses. Where have you been?"

Cindy sighed and put a hand to her forehead, running it over her pulled back hair. "On my way up from Belmont," she said. "Lucas wanted me to work a horse."

"Must be a special horse," Josie commented, and before Cindy could tell her about the new colt, her father walked in with three bridles and a saddle draped over his arm.

"Cindy," Ian said in surprise, smiling at the sight of his daughter. "We were starting to wonder about you."

"I'm sorry," Cindy apologized again. "I had Belmont obligations all of a sudden. I just couldn't get back in time."

"You didn't speed, did you?" Ian asked her, giving her a one arm hug as he handed off the tack to Josie.

"Are you turning into mom now?" Cindy asked him, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.

"Not in the slightest," Ian shook his head. "But I still worry about you."

"Nothing to worry about," Cindy shrugged. "I got back in one piece, didn't I?"

"You did this time," Ian said, patting her on the back before helping Josie with the tack.

"When did you get in?" Cindy asked, following her dad into the small room off of the office.

"About thirty minutes ago," Ian said. "The flight was pretty uneventful. We had to knock a few of the horses out. Hero and Angelica aren't too pleasant in close quarters. They certainly don't help the other horses."

"How many did you bring?" Cindy asked, turning to look down the row.

"Six," Ian said as Cindy walked down the line of stalls. "Our three big guys, and three of our allowance runners."

Cindy nodded, running her hands over the taped names on the doors before she ran across War Hero. She looked inside the stall and saw the smoldering dark bay colt glaring right back at her, his compact body hidden partially in the shadows. Josie walked by and attached the hay net to the peg by the colt's stall, and Hero gave out a low grunt before he ambled up to the stall door and shoved his dark muzzle into the hay.

"He's definitely filled out," Cindy said, not touching the colt as he nuzzled the net, ripping out hunks of hay and tossing scraps to the floor. The colt was a basic dark bay in the shadows of the overcast day and the stable, but Cindy knew that with his breeding he would probably glow a deep shade of brown and burgundy red in the sun. Many of the darker decedents of Ashleigh's Wonder tended to have a little mixture of red in their coats.

"I think the last time I sent you photos of him was when he was a yearling," Josie said. "He was pretty gangly back then. But, you know his parents were that way too when they were young."

Cindy nodded. Wonder's Warrior was a huge horse, and the colt's dam, Pleasantries, had been one of the largest fillies Whitebrook had ever raced. Both had taken some time to find their legs as two-year-olds, and when they did they skyrocketed to the top of their class.

Josie ran her hand over the small star on the colt's forehead, but Cindy still didn't touch him. Instead she shoved her hands behind her back and watched as the colt lowered his head for Josie to scratch his ears.

"Angelica is right there," Josie said, nodding to the chestnut filly hanging her head out of her stall door, her dark brown eyes concentrated on the other hay net Josie was holding. When Cindy turned around to give the chestnut a once over, the filly let out a deep whinny and stamped at the stall door. Josie grinned and left Hero to hang the hay net next to the filly's door, stepping back to let the filly dig in.

Next to her, another chestnut head appeared to survey what was going on in the walkway. Cindy noticed the word "Heliacal" taped to the other chestnut's stall, and smiled at the son of Townsend Princess.

"God, they're gorgeous," Cindy said, walking up to the chestnut colt and running her hand over the large star between his eyes. "When are they running?"

"Hero is in the Saratoga Special this coming weekend," Josie said, standing between Angelica Tree and Heliacal. "We're waiting a little longer with Heliacal and Angelica before we start putting them in stakes. I know Ian and Ashleigh were talking about the Hopeful and the Spinaway. There are tons of races to consider, really," Josie shrugged, giving the chestnut filly a pat on the neck.

Cindy nodded, stroking Heliacal's amber neck as the colt pricked his ears at the filly. Angelica pinned back her ears and snapped at him, making Heliacal jump back.

Cindy laughed and raised her hands as the colt drew himself up and flicked his ears back and forth as though he couldn't make out the filly stabled next to him. Angelica merely went back to her hay net, letting Josie rub under her chin.

"Now, that's a daughter of Fleeting Angel," Cindy laughed, giving the clueless colt another pat on the neck before stepping back with Josie, heading back to the office.

Josie grinned and nodded. "You really have no idea."

Soon after the Whitebrook horses had been settled in their stalls, Cindy caravanned back to the summer house with her Josie and Ian following closely in their rented Honda. When Cindy pulled up in the driveway, Ryan and Laura were outside in the front lawn playing catch. Cindy gave them a confused look as Laura accidentally let the baseball go early and wound up chucking it over the driveway and straight into the pine tree that grew on the other side of the lawn.

"Sorry!" she heard Laura call as Ryan went to retrieve the ball.

"What's this?" Cindy asked, ducking as Ryan threw the ball over her head and back at Laura, who deftly caught it with her glove.

"We're just killing some lazy summer afternoon hours," Laura said, smiling at Ian and Josie as they climbed out of their car. "There weren't any races today."

"Well," Cindy said, wincing as Laura threw the ball again. There was something that didn't allow her to trust Laura with a baseball around her car. "I'm just going to get my family out of your range," she joked at Laura, who smiled sweetly and put her glove down in the grass to meet Ian and Josie again. Laura had accidentally met all of Cindy's family at the Breeders' Cup two years ago, and since then she had run into them repeatedly at different tracks.

"It's nice to see you guys again," Laura said, giving Ian and Josie wide smiles.

"Likewise, Laura," Ian said, shaking her hand as Ryan helped Josie haul her things toward the house. Cindy smiled and pulled her duffle out of her trunk before following behind the entourage.

The rest of the day went along easily. Josie and Cindy went swimming in the pool, cooling off when the summer heat beat off the mild air the rainstorms had provided that morning. Ashleigh had called and spoke specifically to Ian about plans for their horses. Laura wanted to know everything that was to be known about Whitebrook's runners, and Cindy leaned back on the side of the pool and sunbathed as Josie told her everything she could.

By the end of the day Cindy was happy to see everything going well. Dinner had even been pleasant and she found herself later on that night on the phone with Jack, telling him how it all went.

"So you might say that you went a little overboard about them coming up there?" Jack asked, and Cindy chuckled into the phone as she sat on one of the lawn chairs, watching the clear pool water rippling under the small, artificial waterfall.

"Maybe," Cindy said. "But it's only the first day, and I know Ashleigh wants to point her horses toward some serious preps for the Breeders' Cup."

Cindy had already told him about Whitebrook's impressive runners. War Hero was a Wonder's Warrior colt, and Heliacal was impressively bred as well – a Gone West colt out of Townsend Princess. Both would be shooting at the big races that Wonderment would be pointed to at the end of the Saratoga meet. Angelica Tree was also going to be a giant for Hansea to battle. The two fillies were fiery and big for their age, but Angelica Tree was not only out of Fleeting Angel, a Dominion mare, she was also by AP Indy and therefore had Secretariat running in her blood. Just thinking about those two lines meeting in one horse made Cindy shiver.

"Don't worry about it," Jack said, sounding tired. Cindy didn't know what time it was, but looking at the full moon rising up in the sky she figured it must be fairly late.

"Easier said than done," Cindy responded, not wanting to get off the phone, but knowing better. She quickly changed the subject, trying to get him to wake up. "How's Silvan?"

"Pretty good," Jack responded. "We're going to walk him around the shed for a couple of days and then put Micky on him. He'll need one more breeze before the Fourstardave."

"Am I coming down there for that?"

"Looks more like I'm going up there with Silvan for that," Jack said, and Cindy smiled unconsciously.

"Great," Cindy said. "When are you coming up?"

"About August 20th or so," Jack said, and automatically Cindy didn't feel so wonderful. That meant she had over a week to wait, and as much as she found the feeling of her heart sinking annoying she couldn't stop herself.

"Yeah?"

"Uh-huh."

"No way you could come up sooner?" Cindy hazarded, and Jack automatically started to laugh. Cindy frowned tightly and gripped the phone, kicking herself.

"If I could, I would, Cin," Jack said. "Believe me. But Silvan is training well down here, and someone needs to hold down the ship."

"Right," Cindy said, wishing she wasn't so stupid sometimes. Then she muttered, "You're right, because you're heading Belmont down there, and I'm working up here, and that's how things are going to be for right now."

"Cindy?" Jack asked, sounding a little confused. "What?"

"Nothing," Cindy said quickly, suddenly wanting to end the phone call. She looked back at the dark house and closed French doors. "Nothing. Actually, Josie just came outside. I've got to go."

"Okay," Jack said a little distantly, to which Cindy said a quick goodbye and hung up the phone. She laid the phone delicately at her feet and looked back at the dark house. She could hear the rippling water in the pool and the soft summer breeze ruffling through the trees, but other than that everything was quiet. Cindy sighed and turned back around, folding her arms over her knees and curling up on the lawn furniture, wishing she could just disappear.

The sun didn't waste time climbing the horizon the next morning, and Cindy was already a sweaty mess by the time she was on her fourth horse. Hansea wasn't making it any easier. The dark bay filly was hauling on the reins, dancing on her toes and refusing to concentrate on anything. The Oklahoma training track at Saratoga was teaming with horses, and Hansea was completely distracted.

"Hello," Cindy grunted as she tugged back on the reins, pushing Hansea into a canter. "Listen, girl. We're not going to get many chances to repeat this today."

Hansea only cocked one ear Cindy's way and then pricked them again, bursting out into the first wild strides of a gallop as Cindy rose in the saddle. The bay filly was heaving after her second turn around the track, but she still wouldn't settle and Cindy found her arms aching and begging for the workout to end. Cindy gritted her teeth silently and moved the filly away from the inside rail, letting her kick and dance her way across the track. Hansea still had her head craned up and was snorting loudly out of wide nostrils, looking as if she had never set foot on the track before. Finally the work ended as Cindy ground the filly to a halt a few strides past the gap and turned her to be taken off the track.

"Please tell me you have a race for her soon," Cindy said as she walked off the track and right up to Hero's Medal, who stood casually as Hansea roared by, dragging her groom along with her.

David smirked and shook his head. "Orders are to run her in the Spinaway next."

Cindy groaned and let him give her a leg up onto Medal. "But that's at the end of the month."

"We'll give her a long breeze tomorrow," David said. "That please you?"

"If you were riding her, you'd know," Cindy pointed out, gathering the colt's reins and taking him out to the track.

"You see, Cin," David said as she stopped by the fence and looked down at him from the back of the bay colt. "That's the point. You ride, I stand and decide what you do."

"Great, David. Thanks for keeping me updated on my duties."

"You're very welcome," David said, smiling and running a hand through his sandy blond hair. "Take Medal around two laps. He's working up to the Hopeful, but he's not ready for a breeze."

Cindy nodded her understanding and was gone, Medal prancing eagerly under her. Cindy rose up in the saddle with the colt as they bounded into a trot. It wasn't hard to hold Medal; he was fairly obedient on the track. Usually after riding Hansea Cindy got a ride on Medal to cool off, and he provided an excellent trip almost guaranteed. This time was no different.

Extending out into a canter, Cindy glanced to her inside when she heard another huff of a working horse and saw Josie pull up beside her on War Hero, the dark bay glistening burgundy in the morning sun.

"Morning, Cin," Josie smiled over at her, looking picture perfect even though Cindy could tell she had a very firm hold on the reins. War Hero was attempting to steal the bit, and had his mouth gaping open as he worked to gain the upper hand.

"Hey, Jo," Cindy said. "He's looking a little rank."

"He's excited," Josie said. "He gets like this when he's at a new place."

"He'd better get used to it," Cindy said, letting Medal ease into a gallop coming into the far turn.

"No kidding," Josie said, moving along also. The two girls galloped next to each other the entire course, their horses huffing excitedly at the chance to outdo each other. Hero was obviously the more impressive specimen, but Medal wouldn't allow himself to be outdone and by the end the plucky, smaller bay had pushed his head in front as they slowly galloped up to the gap.

Cindy leaned back and let the colt slow down and walk the rest of the way as Josie had a harder time pulling Hero up. The dark bay colt was tossing his head up and leaping, his burgundy-bay body shimmering with sweat in the muggy day.

Patting Medal's neck, Cindy walked along the outside rail with the colt, watching as Josie fought with Hero in the middle of the track. The young colt took two steps forward before unleashing several high rearing strikes at the air, jarring Josie so hard Cindy watched in shock as her cousin slid right off the colt's back and landed in the dirt behind him.

Hero then came down to all fours and snorted, pawing at the dirt. Medal came to a hesitant halt, his muscles bunching in anticipation as Hero snorted again and let out a strangled scream.

"Don't worry," Josie said, rolling over and getting up, walking quietly to the colt's head before taking his loose reins in her fist.

"You've got to be kidding me," Cindy said, staring at Josie as Hero grunted and looked away, as if he had lost all interest in being a brat.

"He's usually all bluff," Josie said, tossing the reins over the colt's head and walking with Cindy back to the gap, Hero ambling along next to her with a spring to his step. "Nothing like Warrior, really. He'll put up a royal fit just to get a rider off of him, but once he's accomplished that the show is over."

"All bark and no bite?" Cindy asked, watching the colt happily tug at Josie's arm as they stopped at the gap.

"Not all the time," Josie laughed, getting a let back up into the saddle by Ian.

"Take him around again," Ian said. "The last thing we need is to let that become a habit."

"Sure," Josie nodded, and was off, leaving Cindy and Ian both to watch War Hero leap down the track, his flashing coat red between shadows.

After Cindy had completed the morning works she stood in the sun, letting the air dry her hair. She had just come from the showers, and in the heat she had figured that blow-drying her mass of blond locks would just be a mistake. With her hair half dry, she pulled it back into a ponytail and wandered into Lucas' barn and right into David, who was walking out.

"Hey," he said, stopping in the gravel outside the barn. "Where are you going?"

"To get my stuff before races start," Cindy informed him.

"Want to get a bite to eat first?" he asked, and Cindy paused. He hadn't asked her to do anything with him since she had turned him down before the Amsterdam. He smiled at her and she frowned, but he seemed to catch on before she could ask him anything.

"Lunch, Cindy," he said. "You know. The track kitchen. They have sandwiches there that, while not so wonderful, might help nourish the body, or, if anything, make you feel full."

Cindy smiled at that and shrugged, following him down the track and to the kitchen, where several grooms and outriders were massing to eat. At that moment, Cindy felt her stomach demand food and she foraged thorough what was being offered, coming away with a turkey sandwich, a small carton of yogurt, and a diet Coke.

"Wow," was all David said when she walked outside with him, sitting at the last bench in the shade. "You're going to get fat, you know."

"Right," Cindy scoffed, nibbling at the sandwich. "I'm just blessed with high metabolism."

"Cindy, I don't think high metabolism has anything to do with it."

She smiled at him and ate in relative silence, feeling the breeze that fingered through the trees and over the track. It was one of the only things that felt good on the track during the summer. Whenever she felt that breeze she would always rip off her helmet and enjoy it while she could.

"Who were you riding with today?" she heard him ask, and she swallowed quickly.

"Josie Taylor," Cindy said. "She's my cousin."

"Cousin?"

"Uh-huh," she said, sipping at her Coke. "My dad and cousin are in town with three of Whitebrook Farm's big two-year-olds."

"Right," David said, nodding. "I always forget you worked for Whitebrook."

Cindy was silent for a minute, secretly a little shocked that anyone could forget that. Most people knew that much after just catching one glimpse of her or her name.

"Well," she cleared her throat. "They'll be in Saratoga until the end of the meet. They're staying with me."

"That sounds great," he said.

"It is," Cindy nodded, opening up her yogurt. "A little disconcerting, but it's nice."

"It will be interesting to race against them," David added. Cindy gave him a blank look.

"You did say they brought their two-year-olds, right?"

"Yes," Cindy said, frowning.

"The colt Josie was riding today," David said. "He was something else."

"Yes, he was," Cindy said, sighing.

"It will be interesting," David said, shrugging. "That's all."

Cindy only smiled and nodded. She did not want to think about riding against Josie or Whitebrook. The concept made her nervous and edgy. Whitebrook wasn't just Whitebrook when Cindy was racing against it. For some reason it became more, and Cindy was sure she could never be comfortable with that.

So she shrugged, took another sip of her Coke and said, "It will be."


	9. Chapter 9

9.

It was possibly the hottest day of the meet, and Cindy felt that if she didn't step in a cold shower soon she would surely melt under the scorching sun. There was shade in the paddock at Saratoga, but even the tall, full trees couldn't buffer the summer for the people and horses. Nearly everyone looked miserable.

Cindy sweltered in her dark gray and yellow silks, standing next to Darren Starks and some nameless blond woman Cindy hadn't bothered giving the time of day. She watched the young entrepreneur speak to the blond and point out the chestnut walking before them. The woman let out a small giggle, and for the third time since she walked into the paddock Cindy rolled her eyes. There were good owners, bad owners, and idiotic owners. Then there were the playboys. Unfortunately, Cindy was standing next to a playboy, and just about everyone else who had met Darren Starks that afternoon had the look on their face that told Cindy they knew it just as well as she did.

"Can I just whack her in the head, or something?" Cindy hissed in David's direction.

The assistant trainer only smiled, and informed Cindy to make sure to keep out of any early speed duel with Get My Gun, who was a notorious front runner for only having run in two races.

"You didn't answer my question," Cindy fired at him point blank.

"No, Cin," David told her, and Cindy sighed. If she had to put up with this man and his tramps during every race Wonderment ran, the excitement would soon wear off.

The chestnut colt looked beautiful in the paddock. He had been groomed to a shine, and his white blaze made him the most striking animal in the small handful of maidens that were running in the eighth race that day. If nothing else, Wonderment could easily win the beauty contest.

Cindy had been unbelievably excited coming into the day. Wonderment had been an angel during his morning work, and soon she was about to see just how good this son of Champion really was. She was almost positive that the colt already had all of his competition beat.

"Watch Tower might be a problem late in the race," David said to keep Cindy occupied. The bay colt in question walked by them and she let her eyes graze over his already sweat-darkened body. "He's going to come into the race big during the last three furlongs. His first race out he nearly won. They've probably perfected that closing kick since his last time out."

"I'll keep on my toes," Cindy promised, wanting badly to shove past the blond as Wonderment was stopped in front of them. The woman was acting all awe and astonishment at the gorgeous animal in front of her, and Darren Starks was encouraging every bit of it. For a moment Cindy regretted that the man was so proficient in the racing business. It was his only saving grace.

"Excuse me," Cindy smiled at them sweetly, moving past the couple to let David give her a leg up onto the tall colt. Wonderment huffed and struck out quickly with a foreleg, making the blond jump back from his head in shock. Cindy bit back a smile.

"Darren!" the woman exclaimed.

"It's alright, doll," Darren chuckled soothingly. "He's a racehorse, after all. They don't come timid."

Cindy didn't say a word as the groom led them off, Wonderment walking easily by the shallow group of people stationed around the paddock. Cindy patted the colt's sweaty neck and was glad to be off.

They hit the track and warmed up, cutting through the humid air and making it hard for Cindy to breath the thick stuff. She wound up gulping as Wonderment slowly galloped up the first turn, warming up past the starting gate and turning around.

"This heat is murder, if you ask me," Cindy's outrider grumbled, looking absolutely miserable in jeans and a dark blue Saratoga shirt.

"We're almost to the end of the day," Cindy tried to remain optimistic, frowning as the first horse trotted into the gate. "This is my last."

"Congrats," the man replied sarcastically. Cindy let a sliver of a smile creep up her mouth.

Three more horses walked into the gate before it was Wonderment's turn, and the chestnut colt slid easily inside. It was obvious from the start that Wonderment didn't have his sire's difficult temperament. Cindy was thankful for that one difference.

"Whoa, whoa!" she heard the calls of other jockeys in their stalls as the young horses banged and squealed at their tight confinement. Cindy pulled down her goggles and the last horse moved into line. Then the gates broke open with a bang.

Wonderment jerked with the rest of the maidens and left the gate pulling to the outside to brush up against It's Only Given, a bright bay colt by Point Given. Cindy had been ready for the colt's awkward start, as many maidens never got their first start perfect, and tugged the colt away from the bay, straightening him out. The six-horse field seemed to consolidate going down the stretch and Get My Gun had predictably taken the lead. The gray colt was bounding down the track with his rider hauling back on the reins, his mount rank and straining to run. Cindy hauled Wonderment to the inside, It's Only Given following them closely.

Get My Gun was roaring unchallenged down the backstretch, and Cindy settled Wonderment in third. It's Only Given was laying close in fourth, his head bobbing near Cindy's outside leg. The small field traveled easily down the backstretch and into the far turn, Get My Gun finally flattening out and letting his jockey take over command. At that point, horses were beginning to make moves in the short race, and Wonderment tensed with excitement.

As Get My Gun fell back, Cindy began to ask Wonderment for speed. The colt didn't seem hesitant to start pouring on power. At the top of the stretch, the leaders had fallen rapidly behind Wonderment and It's Only Given, the two colts locking into a duel to the wire.

Wonderment switched strides and shoved forward, accompanied by a swift tap from Cindy's whip. It's Only Given did the same, launching into battle with the chestnut as they roared down the homestretch, heads bobbing only inches in front of each other.

Cindy pushed and worked at Wonderment with her crop, refusing to let the chestnut give in. The two colts seemed to stare each other down as they drove to the finish, their bodies streaked with sweat and spotted with dirt and lather. Finally, the wire slipped overhead and Cindy leaned back, letting the colt slow.

"What do you think?" she heard Anthony call over to her, slowing It's Only Given, the bay glittering red and black in the harsh sun.

"I have no idea," Cindy said, hauling her golden colt to a canter, Wonderment tossing his

mane and snorting. Cindy patted him on the shoulder, feeling the wetness oozing out of his coat. The colt was slicked with sweat, and seemed several shades darker.

Cindy glanced back and saw Watch Tower standing in the middle of the homestretch, his jockey walking down the outside rail as several attendants began to walk the colt off the track. They had taken off his saddle, but the colt looked fine.

"Heat exhaustion," Anthony said as they began to trot their horses back to the grandstand. "In this weather, I'm not freaking surprised."

"No," Cindy said softly, rising in the saddle with Wonderment's tired, but sure rhythm. Watch Tower was led up into the ambulance, and as the colt was ferried back to the stables, Wonderment's number four was glowing surely on the totaliser. They had won, Cindy realized with a smile. But by a sliver of a nose.

At works a few days later, Cindy walked purposely down the outside rail of the training track, her thick blond hair firmly pulled back in a ponytail. The heat hadn't let up, and Cindy had already pulled off her flak jacket, plucking at her tank top with her fingers to let the air circulate against her hot skin.

Works were over, and Cindy was looking forward to a shower and a fresh change of clothes. She didn't have any mounts in the races that day and part of her was glad. It was a Saturday, and her father would like her in the Whitebrook box to keep him company as Heliacal and War Hero ran their races.

"Where are you going, little lady?" she heard David as she walked by the gap. The last Simm-trained horse was being led off the track, and David was coming back up to the stables with it.

"Headed back to the track," Cindy said, pausing to wait for him.

"You're off for the rest of the day, though," David said, meeting up with her and heading back to the shed row.

"Yeah, but my dad is running a few horses today. I thought I'd keep him company."

"Good deal," David said. "I'll see you up in the grandstand at some point, I'm sure."

"You can come along," Cindy said, speaking before she could think. She stopped short and looked at David out of the corner of her eye. He was glancing back at her as though equally confused that she was inviting him on what she had just deemed a family function.

"Um," Cindy said, trying to recover. "It's just that my dad is training some great two-year-olds this year. You might want to check them out up close and personal, if you want."

That still wasn't better, and Cindy was having a hard time trying to revoke any invitation. She wound up just sighing and smiling at David, looking stupid and completely mortified at herself.

"I'll see you in the grandstand, Cindy," David said, chuckling as they arrived at their stable and walked into the shade.

"Great," Cindy said, forcing a smile before picking up her duffle out of the office and retreating to the shower.

Later that day, Cindy stood in the paddock wearing a light sun dress and feeling just about as feminine as she could in the relentless heat and humidity. Josie stood next to her in the famous white and blue colors of Whitebrook, her eyes on the honey chestnut colt walking quietly around the paddock.

"He looks excellent," Cindy said, complementing the colt, and Josie nodded. Heliacal was led by them, the colt swishing his tail over his hocks as he passed. Cindy gave him a once over with her eyes and turned to follow the colt's movement as he rounded around the spacious paddock, her gaze inevitably wandering from the colt and onto the ominous presence walking up to them.

"God damn it," Cindy muttered, swiftly turning at the sight of Brad and Lavinia Townsend. "Is there some reason why they have to show up? It's only an allowance for Christ's sake."

Josie let a small smile play on her mouth, before glancing quickly at the gorgeous couple walking their way.

"You know Brad," Josie said, shrugging. "He can't keep away from the social Saratoga scene."

Cindy fumed quietly and gave Brad a curt hello before turning her attention to the colts, letting her father deal with the rich owner. As part owner of Heliacal's dam, Townsend Princess, the chestnut colt was automatically partly owned by Brad's father, Clay Townsend, as well. Clay Townsend was, for the most part, an upstanding Thoroughbred owner and breeder. His son didn't have the same charisma and patience, and since Cindy had had several conflicts with Brad and Lavinia she was more than happy to not look in their direction.

"Riders up!"

Cindy nudged Josie and told her good luck. Heliacal was brought by again, pausing for Ian to toss Josie up into the saddle. Cindy winced as she stood next to Lavinia, trying not to drown in the woman's expensive perfume that she seemed to wear as though she had bathed in it. Josie flashed a smile in Cindy's direction and waved, turning with the colt as they were led down to the track. Cindy smiled back, but it was instantly gone as she trudged along behind the bickering couple, wishing they didn't have a box right next to them. She knew Lavinia would be talking Brad's ear off during the entire race, and half of what she would say would be derogatory comments about Whitebrook.

"I just don't understand why she's wearing Whitebrook silks," Lavinia pouted, already starting her incessant chatter. "After all, Pride and Wonder wore Townsend Acres silks throughout their careers."

Cindy rolled her eyes behind Lavinia's back as they walked up the stairs into the grandstand, shooting her father a disgruntled look as the woman kept talking.

"He'll be wearing Townsend gold and green next time out," Brad assured his wife. "With Heliacal the contract states that both owners be represented, and silks alternated. Damn stupid agreement, if you ask me. Ashleigh always wants..."

At that point Cindy stopped listening as they reached their box seats, focusing her attention on Heliacal as the impressive young colt warmed up in the stretch. The race was only six and a half furlongs, and seemed a perfect step up for Heliacal, who had won his maiden at six furlongs.

"Excited?" Cindy asked her dad, who was tapping the racing program against the bars of the box.

"Nervous," Ian corrected his daughter, and Cindy smiled.

"He's a Wonder grandson, dad," Cindy said, taking the program for him so he'd stop fidgeting. "His name is practically waiting to enter the hall of fame."

"Let's hope," Ian said as the horses entered the gate and started without incident. Heliacal jumped cleanly and darted straight for the front, carrying Josie to the rail professionally and settling on the lead, letting Josie determine the pace.

"Smart horse," Cindy breathed, trying to drown out Lavinia's whining.

"Why on earth is he on the lead like that?" Lavinia groaned from behind her. "He was stalking last time. She's already ruined it, I swear..."

Cindy gritted her teeth and forced herself to focus again, watching as Heliacal already had cruised to an easy two length lead. Not knowing much about the colt's running style, Cindy went on faith. Josie knew what she was doing, and she was hardly asking Heliacal for speed when they hit the stretch. They were three lengths ahead, and the closest challenger was already going for the whip.

Laughing, Cindy raised her hand in the air and shouted for Heliacal as he galloped swiftly down to the finish and crossed the line six lengths ahead. The colt never had to dig deep, and when she turned to hug her father she was glad to hear the critical comments behind her cease.

There were so many two year olds swarming in Saratoga that year that Cindy could hardly keep them all straight. Not minutes after leaving the winner's circle for Heliacal's win in his allowance Cindy found herself back in the paddock. This time War Hero was prancing and sweating, nervously kicking out and acting like his sire and his grandsire before him.

The Saratoga Special had drawn serious competition. The grade two stakes had met capacity at twelve horses, and almost all of the entrants were royally bred and fit to become champions. Cindy had settled on the second favorite, a lanky light bay colt called Fine Print. He looked like he was still growing into his long legs, but his sire was the immortal Storm Cat and his dam had been a winner of four grade one stakes. He was built to become an impressive older horse, and Cindy was curious to see how he would do at two.

War Hero, of course, looked like he was about to eat his groom. He had his ears laid back and his body was streaked with dark lines of sweat. He didn't seem to take a liking to Fine Print, who was not amused with War Hero. The two colts were on their toes and walking with their necks arched, as though trying their best to circle each other like wild stallions.

"Testosterone," Josie said, summing it up in one word. "They had both better quit it. Cipher other there is cool as ever."

Cindy nodded, taking a look at the dark, nearly black colt who walked calmly by his groom, trying to rub his head against the man's arm. He was flashy, with a large white star on his forehead and four white socks. His sire was Victory Gallop, and with classic bloodlines such as those he would be something to look out for.

After getting Josie up onto Hero successfully, Cindy returned to the grandstand with her father, watching the colts warm up eagerly. She was so engrossed in following the main attractions that she didn't notice Lavinia's subtle remarks or the fact that David has slipped into a seat nearby.

The race went off easily, with Bookmarked taking the immediate lead and sprinting down the backstretch in the short race, letting everyone file along behind him. War Hero had fallen to nearly last, but Cipher was content to bring up the field. Fine Print was running mid-pack, with several other promising two year olds. The young horses were still new to racing, and as Cindy followed along with her binoculars she could see Fine Print getting bumped into the rail several times by Yougottawantit. War Hero and Cipher were settled in second to last and last, their dark presences shadows over the field.

When the colts swung into the homestretch, Cindy watched with enthusiasm as War Hero picked up with pace, Cipher hot on his heels as the two closers went wide around horses and bounded to the front, joining Fine Print, who seemed to be able to shake Yougottawantit off of his back.

Cindy set down her binoculars and cheered Josie on, watching as the three young horses left the rest of the field behind. Fine Print was in first, struggling to keep his lead. War Hero and Cipher were speeding up next to him. Cindy jumped up and down to see over the heads of other people, catching sight of Cipher cruising past Fine Print as War Hero seemed to stop. The dark bay colt passed under the finish a head in front, with Fine Print and War Hero filing after.

Cindy groaned as most of the people in the stands shrieked with happiness. Cipher had been the favorite in the race after coming off a beautiful allowance win. The colts cooled out in the first turn, their bodies glistening through the hot air.

"Better luck next time," David said, walking up to Cindy and Ian. "Heliacal was damn impressive, though. I'll be studying him."

Cindy did a quick introduction, getting her father and David speaking about the race as they walked out of the grandstand, fighting the crowd the entire way.

"Hero has some maturing to do," Ian said, talking with David easily. Cindy was almost surprised by her father's easiness with strangers. Although it shouldn't have surprised her. Ian handled the press as though it were his main job. "That's clear with him."

"Sure," David said. "His sire line was certainly slow to mature at two. You may have a classic horse on your hands instead of a young shooting star."

"No doubt," Ian nodded. "Warrior and Dominion are certainly not juvenile champions. He's bound to do better as time progresses."

"Good luck with him," David said. "I'd love to be in your position."

Cindy listened to the conversation for a few more moments before Brad walked up, beckoning David away with some request that surprised Cindy. David gave her a smile and told her he'd see her later as he walked off with the Townsend, Cindy still staring after him.

"Seems like a responsible young man," Ian said, throwing an arm around Cindy's shoulders as they walked down to the backside.

"Dad," Cindy started, only to be hushed.

"No need to explain, Cin. No need at all."

Cindy groaned and smacked her hand against her head with exasperation, and Ian only laughed.

Later that night, Cindy sat in absolute silence as they ate dinner with the Townsends. Cindy was sure she hadn't said a word during the night. Most of the time she was busy staring in horror at Lavinia's contemptuous comments, wondering who on earth could raise such a person. Brad was bearable, speaking mostly to Ian about his father's wish to see Heliacal in the Hopeful Stakes. Ian had been hesitant, but Brad had pushed. Heliacal was headed on the road to the Hopeful unless something happened to derail those plans.

Cindy was glad when the night was over, and she found herself driving alone with the windows down. She hadn't changed out of her good evening clothes, but she hadn't wanted to go home quite yet. Instead she found herself driving up to the gates of Saratoga Racecourse, rolling into the backside after she presented her ID.

She came up to Lucas' Saratoga barn and shut off her engine, setting foot on the gravel with her high heels. Tripping over the jagged bed of gravel, she made it to the stable without injury and walked down the shed row to Wonderment and Sunday, who were both dosing quietly in their stalls.

Wonderment didn't open his eyes, so Cindy gave him a soft caress on the muzzle before moving to Sunday, who had his dark brown eyes open and watching her.

"Hey, speedy," Cindy smiled at him, running her hand over his face, and tickling his chin. Sunday lipped at her fingers, trying to catch them in his mouth as she played. The backside was quiet except for the soft noise of the horses shifting their weight and sighing. It was soothing, and exactly what Cindy needed after a dinner with the Townsends.

Cindy gave the colt a kiss on the muzzle and patted his dappled gray neck, smoothing her hand down the soft fibers of his coat. Sunday butted her playfully with his head, grunting loud enough to wake up Wonderment from his deep dozing. Cindy gave the suddenly interested chestnut a kiss as well before wandering off to the office, where she found David stepping out the door.

"Cindy," he said, sounding surprised to see her.

"Hey," Cindy said, cheerful again after seeing the horses. "I didn't think you'd be here this late."

"Hell, Cin," David laughed. "I'm here at the weirdest hours."

Cindy smiled at him and walked with him down the row to check on the horses, talking easily. They had grown accustomed to each other since Cindy had come up to Saratoga, and although Cindy had been wary after all the things Jack had implied in his actions, she found no reason to not be friends with the man with her now.

David let himself into one of the gelding's stalls, leaning down to check the dozing horse's bandages that had been wrapped around his legs for the night.

"Did you ever get a hold of Lucas about Wonderment?" Cindy asked, leaning against stall to watch him work at redoing a messy bandage.

"Yeah," David said. "He wants to head to the Hopeful before we ship him down to Belmont after the meet."

"Oh?" Cindy frowned, wondering how on earth everything would work out. "No allowance?"

"No," David said. "We all pretty much agreed that he's ready. Skipping the traditional allowance won't harm him."

"Who's we?" Cindy asked curiously. She hadn't heard from Jack in a week, and every time she had called him to tell him about Wonderment's win she had gotten the answering machine. It was frustrating and Cindy was considering being mad at him the next time she saw him, but then she knew that getting mad at Jack usually had no benefits.

"Jack, Lucas, and I," David said slowly, standing up after fixing the bandage.

"You've talked to Jack?"

"Yeah," David said, shrugging. "Why? Haven't you?"

"No," Cindy said, hiding her concern. "No," she repeating with more assurance.

"It's okay," David said, giving her an amused smile. "He is busy."

"Yeah," Cindy frowned. "But he's, like, my best friend."

"Really?" David asked, stepping out of the stall and latching the guard back over the empty space.

"Really, really," Cindy said. "So it's kind of weird that I haven't heard from him."

"Nothing to worry about," David said. "You're his best friend after all."

Cindy frowned. The way he said that didn't make her feel much better.

"Oh, what do you mean by that?" Cindy asked, pushing for information if he had any.

"Nothing meant," David said, holding up his hand in mock innocence. "Nothing."

"I don't believe you," Cindy said pointedly.

"What?" David said. "He's a good guy. Doesn't seem to like me all that much, but you just have to let bygones be bygones."

"Yeah, I've never been able to figure that one out," Cindy said, and David looked over at her curiously.

"What? You like me?" He asked her, smiling devilishly.

"Come on," Cindy rolled her eyes. "I think you're a decent human being, if you must know."

"That's it?" he asked, pushing for more. "Am I not handsome, or sweet, or funny, or whatever it is girls always go on and on about?"

"No," Cindy said, getting almost a hurt look from him. Then she gave him one of her sarcastic nods of her head and said flirtatiously, "Oh, you're so much more, David."

"Good to hear," David laughed, looking in on the last horse. The small bay filly inside was already conked out in the bedding of her stall.

"Sweet," Cindy said, leaning against the stall to look at the filly. David leaned next to her, their shoulders brushing. "If I could sleep like that, with no worries or cares in the world, I'd be happy."

"That would make you happy?" David asked. "To be like that?"

"Well," Cindy said slowly. "Since I'm not a horse, I guess I'd have to have a little more than that."

"What do you want?" he asked her, turning his head to look at her. Cindy swallowed, suddenly aware of how close they were.

"I don't know," Cindy said defensively. "Nothing you could give me, that's for sure," she added, already beginning to push away from the stall. Things were strange now, and Cindy's skin was crawling in warning.

"Oh, don't say that, Cin," David said, grabbing her hand and pulling her back to him, pushing back from the stall to capture the back of her head in his other hand as he brought his head down to hers.

His lips touched hers long enough for a deep kiss. Cindy was too stunned to react, her arms down by her side, and she stared at him wide eyed. Then it dawned on her to push him away. She put her arms into action and shoved against his chest, breaking the kiss off sloppily and stepping back.

"David," she said, putting her hand to her mouth. "What got into you? I didn't..."

"No, Cindy," David said. "Don't tell me that this is all me."

"Well, it is," Cindy defended herself. "I never asked for..."

"Okay, then," David said, seeming to draw himself up to his full height. Cindy frowned at him in confusion and took another step back, shaking her head.

"David," she started, trying to figure all of this out. Everything had an explanation, and she was going to make this very clear to him. She wasn't interested.

"Cindy, I'm not Jack. Okay?" David said, and that brought Cindy to a stumbling halt.

"Excuse me?" Cindy whispered.

"I'm not Jack," he said. "I never will be. I'm not remotely like Jack, so stop speaking to me as if I am."

"I don't understand," Cindy said, shaking her head. "What the hell are you talking about."

"Cindy, wake up, okay? If Jack had caught on you'd have been with him months ago by now, if not years. Jack is a moron for not realizing it sooner."

"Not realizing what?" Cindy asked, trying not to feel hot and bothered. Her heart was beating out of her chest. She knew what he was going to say before he said it, and she desperately wanted him to lie to her.

"Do I really have to say it?" David asked her. "You're not fooling me, Cin. You're not fooling anyone, really."

Cindy only stared at him, shocked.

"And he's not here, but I am. I'm not filler, Cindy. Okay? Have you realized that now?"

Cindy was speechless. All she could do was press her hand against her lips again, trembling.

"I know this is all about Jack, Cindy," David said, walking up to her again only to stop when she took a step back. "I'd like it to be about me, but I'm not sure that can happen."

"I," Cindy tried. "I can't..."

"I know," David said, giving her a soft smile that seemed to tell her volumes about what he knew about her. He touched her arm and she jumped. "I'll see you tomorrow, Cin."

With that, he turned around and walked out of the barn and to his car.

"I like you, Cin," he called over his shoulder. "But I'm not going to be him for you."

Cindy only stared at him as he got in his car and drove off, leaving her staring at the horses in their stalls, milling softly in the darkness. Cindy took in an unsteady breath, letting it out quickly to take another one. Suddenly the soft sounds of the horses was not as soothing, and Cindy, confused and trembling, turned on her heel and left.


	10. Chapter 10

10.

The morning was quiet. A dim light was rising over the horizon, but Cindy didn't notice it. Sunday Punch shifted and sighed under her as they waited for his running mate to enter the training gate willingly. Cindy hardly felt the movement that on any other day would have been clear as crystal to her.

The hyper active colt they were forcing into the gate balked again and reared, thrashing so violently that the rider lost his balance and wound up clinging to the colt's neck. Cindy only backed Sunday away from the scene and walked him around to keep his mind off the commotion the other young horse was providing in spades.

Sunday danced, swinging his hindquarters easily to his own rhythm as Cindy turned him in circles, watching the gate out of the corner of her eye. David wasn't there. She hadn't really seen David in some time, and that didn't help how confused she was. He would tell her the plans for the day and then wander off, cool and disinterested in the confused stare that Cindy sent him whenever she could.

What was strange to her was that she had never been angry about the whole thing. David didn't mean enough to her to make her angry. She had thought that at best they could be friends, but apparently she had said or done something that was other than friendly. What she had done, she didn't know. He had kissed her and told her things she had never expected to hear; but she wasn't mad.

Now, four days removed from the incident that she had never told anyone about, Sunday Punch was in serious training for the King's Bishop. Jack and Lucas would be in Saratoga tomorrow. Several new horses had shipped up for the upcoming weekend. Cindy, when she should have been stressed and easily angered, found herself quiet along with the morning.

"You think they're ever going to get that horse in the gate?" Laura asked from the back of Fresh Tactics. The chestnut colt was also in line for gate work, and the two colts milling next to each other, accustomed to the other's presence.

"Yeah," Cindy said, sighing. "It just takes about two billion years. Every time we've gate trained, that horse has been there. Let me tell you, Sunday has learned to stand like a rock just because of that horse."

Laura chuckled and glanced over her shoulder. Cindy looked along with her and found David walking up the track next to Josie, who was cooling off Angelica after a breeze. Instantly Cindy frowned and looked away, refusing to acknowledge the man that approached them.

"Guys, just throw the towel on his head and get it over with," David called to the men struggling with the young colt.

Cindy rolled her eyes. Lately she had succeeded in finding fault with everything David said, and she had wound up getting yelled at for completely ignoring him during works. She honestly couldn't help how she was acting. Part of her was wondering if she was unconsciously ignoring him. It almost felt like her body went on autopilot around him. She just shut down.

The men at the gate did as told and soon the irate colt was stuck in the gate. Sunday was put into action and soon Cindy found herself in the starting gate right next to the rearing colt.

"Jesus Christ!" Cindy groaned, patting Sunday's neck as the other colt let out a strangled scream and began to struggle so angrily that he lost his footing and went down in the gate, crashing against the metal sides of the chute.

At that, Sunday spooked and reared, his own hooves scraping at the metal doors. Cindy calmly brought him down to all fours and the gate was opened to let the colt out. Sunday bolted, lunging several strides before Cindy was able to haul him down to a halt and turn him, looking at the mess in the starting gate.

The other colt had twisted himself in the chute, and men were screaming around him. Dimly, Cindy realized that the jockey was stuck underneath the colt and was yelling loudly for no one to touch him. Sunday was trembling, pricking his ears at the scene. Cindy could see ambulances already arriving.

Cindy urged Sunday into a trot and passed the gate, moving out of range to Laura and Josie, who sat stunned on the backs of their mounts.

"Oh, my God," Cindy muttered, looking at the crushed rider. Both human and horse were laying in the dirt. The colt was letting out strangled cries, while the man underneath him kept ordering people to not touch him. Then, strangely, both were silent.

"You guys, let's get off the track," Josie suggested, turning Angelica. "I don't want to watch this."

Laura agreed and turned Fresh Tactics, but Cindy was still sitting quietly on Sunday. She could see David among the moving paramedics and vets. He was watching the proceedings carefully until he looked up and saw her staring back at him. Sunday suddenly shivered and spooked, dancing around in a circle as Cindy calmed him. When she looked back she couldn't find David.

"Damn it," Cindy muttered, shaking her head.

Suddenly the other colt seemed to wake up again and screamed bloody murder, thrashing at the gate desperately and causing the workers to scatter out of the range of his flailing hooves. Sunday spooked again, and Cindy relented, turning the colt and taking off for the gap.

Later that afternoon, Cindy walked back from the track. She was still damp from the showers and eager to dump her bag of equipment back in the trunk of her car. The weight of the duffel bag banging against her knee seemed greater in the heat, and all Cindy wanted to do was take a vacation from Saratoga for a while.

Wincing, Cindy stopped by her car and hauled the bag into her trunk, stumbling a little on tired feet.

"Be careful, Cin." She heard David's voice drifting out of the stable and she frowned, straightening up as she slammed the trunk shut.

"I'm fine, David," Cindy said back as she stared at him over the roof of her car. She really didn't know what to say to him, so she let her keys jangle against her hand as she unlocked the Audi's driver side door and opened it up.

"Hey, look," he stopped her, and she glanced up at him from over the car door.

"What?" she asked, realizing she sounded bitchy and not caring about it.

"I don't want things to be awkward," David said. "But I'm not taking anything back that I said."

"Great," Cindy laughed shortly. "That would mean something to me if I even understood what you were talking about in the first place."

"You really are clueless," David said, and at that Cindy threw up her hands.

"David," Cindy cut across what he was going to say. "No. I'm not clueless. If you thought I was, I don't know, flirting with you, then you're mistaken. Okay? I didn't mean to treat you like anyone else."

"Jack," he filled in for her. "I know you have some weird thing for Jack, Cin, but.."

"But what?" Cindy glared at him. "As far as I'm concerned you don't know Jack from shit."

At that, she quickly got into the car, slammed the door, and made a hasty retreat. She was home before she had even cleared her head, and stormed into the house, slamming the front door after her.

"Hey," Josie said, jumping as Cindy flew through the kitchen.

"What?" Cindy asked irritably, getting a startled look from Josie.

"God, Cin," Josie frowned. "What got into you?"

"Nothing," Cindy said, sighing. "Nothing. Just, I think I might strangle David."

"David?" Josie asked. "Simm's assistant trainer? Why?"

Cindy stopped and placed her hands flat on the kitchen counter, taking deep breaths to calm herself down. When she finally looked up she knew where she had to go to feel better, and she met Josie's questioning eyes full force.

"You want to get out for a while?"

"Sure," Josie shrugged. "Where to?"

"McMahon."

The drive to McMahon Thoroughbreds was full of talking, and, slowly, Cindy began to feel less chaotic in the presence of her more laid back cousin. Josie had her laughing and conversing within the first five minutes, and as far as Cindy was concerned David was the last thing to worry about.

"You know, you could have said that you wanted to see Heavenly Choir instead of the name of this place," Josie said as they drove down the fence line of McMahon. "You had me really confused at first."

"I thought you knew that Heavenly Choir had been sent to McMahon," Cindy said, turning into the drive of the modest Thoroughbred breeding farm.

"I don't know everything that goes on with Whitebrook," Josie corrected her. "I knew that she was sold at auction, but I never asked where. Why the sudden rush to see her, though?"

"It's just been a long day," Cindy replied, and Josie nodded.

"You mind me asking why?" Josie asked, and Cindy gave her a long warning glance. Josie had never been one to pry into people's lives, and Cindy had always loved that about her. Josie listened when Cindy needed someone to just listen and only offered advice if asked for it. She was the closest thing to a therapist Cindy would ever come to.

"By that look I think you mean yes," Josie laughed, looking out the windshield as they parked in front of one of the many long barns.

"Well," Cindy sighed, knowing she had to let off some steam. She hesitated because she was still too confused to put it all into words.

"Let's just go see Heavenly Choir," Josie said, getting out of the car. "Think about it a little. I don't need to know."

Cindy smiled a little and got out after her, walking into the shade of the nearest stable. The barn of broodmares was quiet and cool. Fans were rotating back and forth in the aisle and over the stalls, keeping the air circulating to make each mare comfortable. Josie stopped in the aisle and looked back at Cindy, who was busy surveying the stable.

"Looks nice and homey," Josie grinned at Cindy as a tall man walked out of the nearby office to greet them. Cindy blinked quickly, nearly mistaking him for David as the light from the windows flashed on his dark blond hair.

"May I help you?" he asked, strolling up to them like he expected unannounced visitors every day.

"Yes," Josie jumped in before Cindy could say anything. I'm Josie Taylor, and this is Cindy McLean. We were interested in seeing Heavenly Choir."

"Whitebrook, am I right?" he said, a smile spreading over his mouth. "Already coming to check up on her?"

"Something like that," Cindy said, letting herself smile at him.

"Sure, sure," he nodded. "She just arrived last week," he added as they followed him down the aisle. "They had to wait until her little one was weaned."

"She foaled again?" Cindy asked Josie quickly, surprised that she had been so out of the loop. Usually she was kept up to date on what was happening, and that she hadn't known about this new foal made her feel strange and more distant from Whitebrook than before. Josie simply nodded.

"A March to Glory filly," Josie said, giving Cindy a curious look. "Ashleigh's decided to call her March to Heaven."

Cindy nearly stumbled over her own feet as she walked, surprised that no one would tell her that a full sister to Joy had been born. Josie quickly reached out and steadied Cindy, keeping her walking. At the touch of her cousin, Cindy pulled away, frowning deeply.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" she asked, catching Josie's eyes with her own.

Josie shrugged and said softly, "I thought you'd be upset about it. And Ashleigh...well, you know how things have been."

"I know," Cindy said, her trademark scowl set deep on her mouth. "It would have been nice to know, Jo."

"Yeah," Josie nodded. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I should have."

Cindy only sighed and nodded. "Yeah, it's okay. She's not mine anyway. Just because she's a full sister to Joy doesn't mean she's Joy."

"No," Josie said, stopping as the breeding manager stopped outside the second to last stall, turning and motioning to the gray mare within.

"There she is," he said, and Cindy stared at the small gray, letting a smile replace her frown.

"You two can stay as long as you like. My name is Bill Packard. If you need anything I'll be in my office down the row there."

"Thanks," Josie and Cindy said at the same time, both girls walking up to the mare as Mr. Packard returned down the aisle.

"It's so strange to see her here instead of at Whitebrook," Josie chuckled as the mare walked up to the stall door and investigated her visitors.

"That's what I was thinking," Cindy nodded, rubbing the mare's forehead and looking in on her stall. She had no complaints with how McMahon ran their farm, and it looked like Heavenly Choir was well provided for.

Cindy ran her hand down the nearly white mare's nose and sighed, leaning against the stall door. Everything felt more laid back, and as she stroked the mare's white neck she could have been back at Whitebrook, watching this same mare give birth to her filly.

"You want to talk, Cin?" Josie said, and Cindy laughed. It was just like her cousin to catch her off guard, when everything was calm and pleasant.

Josie looked at her expectantly and Cindy nodded, rubbing her fingers into the mare's white and gray mane.

"I don't really know where to start, though," Cindy warned her cousin, who only smiled.

"The beginning is always a great place," she suggested.

"Okay," Cindy nodded. "The beginning it is."

By the time they had left McMahon and were halfway home, Cindy had Josie stupefied. Cindy had been talking the entire time, and was on her way to talking more before her cousin broke in with raised hands.

"Okay, wait," Josie said. "You've got me confused. You met Jack about three years ago, and he's sort of your best friend and sort of one of your bosses. You kind of accidentally broke him and his now ex-girlfriend up, and while you wouldn't admit it then, you do admit now that you have a crush on him. Right?"

"Sort of," Cindy frowned, admitting that her explanation of things hadn't been too concrete.

"Okay," Josie breathed. "And now that you like Jack in a more-than-a-best-friend way, you're in Saratoga with David, and Jack is at Belmont."

"Right," Cindy frowned, stopping at a traffic light. "I mean, I think I like him. This has been going on for so long, I'm just really confused at this point."

"Yeah, it sounds like it," Josie laughed. "Now, where does David come in?"

"He kissed me," Cindy said simply. "Like, four days ago. I pushed him away and he told me that I was essentially treating him like Jack, which really confused me, and ever since then things have been really odd."

"I can imagine," Josie arched an eyebrow. "What do you think he means by you treating him like Jack?"

"I don't know," Cindy said, starting forward again when the light turned green. "It's not like that justifies him thinking it was okay to kiss me."

"Wait," Josie said, turning all the way to Cindy and leaning forward. "Were you flirting, Cin? Because you like to flirt."

"I do not like to flirt," Cindy cried, hitting Josie lightly on the shoulder.

"Right," Josie said, laughing. "I think you do it without knowing it."

"Honestly," Cindy groaned. "I didn't flirt with David."

"Well, he thinks you were," Josie said, leaning back in her seat as they pulled onto their street.

"Well I didn't intend to," Cindy said, sighing.

"There you go," Josie pointed out.

"You are no help," Cindy said, rolling her eyes and pulling into the driveway.

"Cindy McLean," Josie announced as she got out of the car. "Queen of mixed signals."

"Shut up!" Cindy demanded, running with Josie back to the house.

Later that evening, Cindy sat in a booth across from Josie in a small bar far from the track scene. The place was dark and smoky enough for the smell to cling to Cindy's clothes, but that went unnoticed. The two girls were too engrossed in their stories, laughing over what they had missed in each other's lives since Cindy had moved to New York. She knew that so much had changed, and listening to Josie made her happy she was gone and homesick all at once.

"And so I put Ethan up on Traitor," Josie said about her boyfriend. "And I figured everything would be okay because Traitor is gelded and had been off the racing circuit for like, two years..."

Cindy was already smiling, knowing that Ethan wasn't a rider. He was a journalist from Baltimore, and only met Josie on accident when he had been dragged to Pimilco by his horse crazy sister during the Preakness.

"Oh, don't tell me," Cindy laughed, holding up her hands.

"No, no," Josie grinned. "It's a good story. Traitor took off with him down that narrow trail off the maintenance road. He wound up going over a couple logs and managed to stay on. I had to go after him and it just took forever to find him because he had gone off the trail and wound up in the middle of the woods..."

"Oh my God," Cindy laughed. "Were they okay?"

"Yeah," Josie said, flipping her hand nonchalantly as she picked up her glass of beer. "The best thing about it is that now Traitor is his favorite horse and I'm giving him lessons."

"You're kidding," Cindy said.

"Nope," Josie said, shaking her head. "And he's getting pretty good. He and Traitor are becoming a nice team. I've started thinking that Ash might even sell him to Ethan."

"Oh, yeah," Cindy rolled her eyes. "Just Whitebrook's infamous gelding."

"Gelding being the point," Josie said. "And Traitor isn't really the type to put out with the yearlings or use as a pace horse. He won't stand for it."

Cindy smiled, remembering the laid back gelding race only a year ago. The first son of Precocious and Mr. Wonderful hadn't been an easy candidate to train on the track, and after several unsuccessful attempts at getting him to focus, gelding him had worked like a charm. While never succeeding to win a grade I race, Traitor had been dominating in the lower stakes races and finally retired with several grade II and III events under his belt.

"Hey girls," Laura called, walking up with new drinks and setting them down on the table as she scooted in beside Josie. Ryan was behind her on his cell, directing someone to the bar.

"Yeah," Ryan said, plopping down next to Cindy. "No, no. Caroline St. It's right off of Broadway. Hell, Jack, you've freaking been here before..."

Cindy grinned. If there was one thing Jack was not adept with it was directions.

"Okay," Ryan finally said. "See you in a minute."

"I'm so excited that I get to meet Jack," Josie grinned, kicking Cindy under the table. Cindy responded by rolling her eyes and kicking back.

"What are we? Thirteen?" Cindy joked.

"You participated," Josie smiled, turning around when two figures appeared by the table.

"It's just tourist madness out there," Jack introduced himself with a characteristic smile, making Cindy grin. "Sorry I'm late."

"That and your affinity for getting lost," Ryan said, pulling up two chairs. "Sit."

Cindy darted her eyes to the woman sitting down next to Jack, a little surprised to see Sarah McCormick looking back at her quietly.

"Hi, Cindy," Sarah smiled.

"Hey, Sarah," Cindy said, recovering quickly. "Did you guys drive up together?"

"Yeah," Sarah laughed. "I needed a ride after my car broke down in New York. Jack gave me a lift, sweet man that he is."

"He is that," Cindy nodded, turning to introduce Josie to Jack. The two hit it off immediately, and Cindy scooted out of the booth to let them get acquainted, using the fact that she needed to get the next pitcher as an excuse.

While she was waiting at the bar she stared vacantly up at the television. Sportscenter was on, and before Cindy could grumble to herself about how Sportscenter was on wherever she went, the image of Adriatic pounding home in the Pacific Classic caught her attention. She was so engrossed in the muted television that she jumped when the bartender told her the price of the beer. Cindy thrust the money at him and turned with the pitcher, heading back to the table.

When she slid the heavy pitcher across the hard wood, everyone was already deep into conversation about the upcoming stakes races that weekend. Cindy collapsed in the booth next to Jack and smiled at him, watching as he started pouring beer. She could see Josie across from her, grinning elfishly. Instead of giving her cousin a sweet smile back, she sent her a warning look, making Josie's grin spread even further.

"What?" Jack asked Cindy through the conversation being batted around the table.

"Nothing," Cindy said quickly, covering up with a smile and turning to the talk about the Travers.

"Fifty Shy had a horrible work the other day," Sarah was saying. "He practically blistered the five furlongs. I'd be surprised if he lifts a hoof tomorrow."

Cindy raised an eyebrow, looking over the table at Laura, who shrugged. Fifty Shy was Cindy's mount in the race, and she would have been more taken aback had she ridden the colt in that work. Since she hadn't, Cindy had to acknowledge that the colt's chances in the race had decreased.

"Baffert's pushing it with him, I agree," was all Laura said, looking over the table at Cindy.

"It wasn't all Baffert," Cindy said. "Or so I heard. Fifty Shy is just an excitable animal."

Jack snorted softly and nudged Cindy. "He should have had you on him that day. Cindy, the connoisseur of excitable animals."

"Thanks, Jack," Cindy laughed, rolling her eyes.

"No prob, Cin."

"Oh!" Laura said, setting down her beer and targeting Cindy. "Did you hear about Murmullo?"

"Nope," Cindy shook her head, remembering the colt that had gone down in the gate, bringing his rider along with him. Cindy hadn't been much in the loop since her problems with David, and had kept mostly to herself on the track, avoiding the gossip since she feared much of it would be about herself.

"He died this morning," Laura said. "He apparently knocked his head pretty hard after we left, and after they got him out from under the gate he was having trouble walking and after a few hours he couldn't stand. He was put down."

"Murmullo?" Jack asked. "That's one of Lucas' colts. What happened?"

"Gate training," Cindy said, sighing. "Murmullo has been trouble in the gate for weeks, and David got impatient, I guess. Murmullo freaked out and fell in the stall."

"His rider will be alright," Laura added. "He was in pretty bad shape, but they've got him stable at Memorial."

Cindy nodded, glancing over at Jack, whose look said it all.

"God," Jack sighed, leaning back. He looked like he obviously didn't want to deal with the death of a horse just before a major race weekend. Whenever a horse died on the track it was big news, and if fault could be found with the trainer a media spree could develop. Cindy didn't want to admit it, but David was at fault for pushing the colt.

"That is fucking typical," Jack seemed to mutter to himself, and Cindy frowned.

"Jack," she said softly, but he shook his head.

"Never mind," he said, drinking. "I'll get all the details from him tomorrow."

"It was an accident," Cindy tried, knowing that it wasn't entirely true.

"Like hell, Cin," Jack said, letting out a short laugh.

Cindy frowned at him, about to say something else until he shook his head.

"Like hell."


	11. Chapter 11

11.

There was a light drizzle in the morning, and Cindy couldn't believe it. It was as if the rain was perfectly timed to the stakes races, and as she sat on Sunday's back all she really wanted to do was forget the pre-race work and curl up on the sofa inside the main office. Instead, she saw Josie riding one of the allowance horses Whitebrook had running that day down the middle of the track, and she urged Sunday into a canter, coming up alongside them.

"Beautiful morning," Josie commented, frowning at the sky. "I heard it's supposed to get worse later today."

"That is not what I wanted to hear," Cindy sighed, despite Sunday's obvious preference to running in the mud. The track was already a little greasy, and Sunday was having no problem at all with the footing, but Cindy never liked running in the mud.

The gray colt let out a playful little kick before skipping ahead of Josie, making Cindy throw her weight back and draw him toward the outside. Sunday slowed to a trot and bounced eagerly, as if knowing what day it was. They hadn't even taken away his hay net at the barn yet and Sunday was acting up as if he had counted down the days to the King's Bishop.

Cindy let the colt back into a canter and finally a light gallop, scowling into the sprinkling rain that splattered against her arms and soaked into her clothes. Josie was silent next to her, letting the gelding underneath her stride out and settle into his gallop, tugging gently on the reins as they moved into the far turn.

As they came into the homestretch, Cindy could see figures standing all along the grandstand and the outside rail, but she didn't take good notice of them. She caught sight of a few large television cameras and finally, when they neared the gap, she found Jack and David watching her from the rail. The two men were standing far from each other, neither taking any notice in the other.

Cindy gave them both a disapproving glance before easing Sunday and coming off the track, riding out a playful buck and rear that the colt seemed to think was necessary. Cindy jumped off of Sunday's back and strode up to Jack, leading the colt along before the groom got to them.

"What's going on?" she asked, staring at Jack and glancing inadvertently at David, who wasn't looking at them or even paying attention from what she could see.

"Nothing," Jack shook his head. "Nice morning work."

"Thanks," Cindy said, feeling the groom's presence at her shoulder. She jumped when he asked her in a mixture of Spanish and English if she'd like to give up the horse to him any time soon. Cindy relinquished the reins with a huff.

"What's going on?" Cindy asked again, nodding behind Jack, who didn't turn around.

"Nothing," he repeated, getting one of Cindy's patented bullshit looks.

"You have to know that I'm not going to buy that anymore," she informed him, watching David push away from the railing and walk back up to the stables after Sunday. Cindy diverted her look back to Jack, who didn't look like he was going to budge.

"Cin, there is nothing to talk about," Jack said, moving them out of the way as several horses walked on and off the track. Cindy sighed as the rain picked up, coming down from the sky in larger drops and slapping against her bare arms. She watched him through the rain, knowing full well that he was going to refuse to tell her anything, which both angered her and frustrated her to no end.

"Jack, that's not fair," she told him straight out this time. So many times she had just shrugged and walked away, chalking it up to another irritating facet of Jack's personality. He didn't talk when he didn't want to, but this time Cindy had more at stake than mere curiosity.

"What?" he asked her, alternating between looking down at her and up at the rain. They were slowly getting soaked, but Cindy didn't seem to take notice.

"You heard me," Cindy said, throwing her arms up with annoyance. "Unlike all the other times you've pulled the whole 'nothing' deal with me, this isn't going to be so easy. I want to know what's going on."

"Why are you so interested?" Jack asked, blinking as a large droplet of rain made contact with his scalp, the cool water running down his forehead to be brushed away casually.

Cindy let out a frustrated sigh. "Jack, come on!" she exclaimed rather loudly, then dropped her voice when she noticed a groom had turned to survey the conversation. "I am riding today. The least you could do is tell me what to expect from the media about Murmullo."

Jack didn't seem to respond to that, so Cindy took a step toward him, getting a raised eyebrow in response.

"I've been working with David all summer," she informed him. "You need to freaking tell me what was said."

At that, Jack seemed to wake up and he also took a step forward, surprising Cindy into jerking her head up higher to look at him.

"Yeah, about that," he said, making her frown deeper. "How's that working out for you?"

"Jack," she said, surprised at his tone. It was her turn to look questioning, but instead of asking him what he meant she just gave him a startled silence.

"I'm not going to get into it," Jack shook his head, pushing his tanned hands through rain soaked dark hair. Water ran down his arms as the rain started to get stronger. Cindy could feel wetness clinging to her eyelashes, but she didn't do anything about it. She was too busy looking like a deer caught in headlights. Automatically she jumped at the notion that Jack and David hadn't talked about Murmullo. They had talked about her.

Jack turned on her and started to walk back to the barn.

"Jack!" Cindy called to him through the rain.

"There's nothing on Murmullo," Jack answered over his shoulder. "I wouldn't let that concern you."

With that, he disappeared into the stable row. Cindy was left standing in the rain, listening to her pounding heart.

Hours later Cindy stood in the paddock for the Fourstardave. Her heart was residing uncomfortably in her throat, and every time she saw Jack move a muscle she felt like she wanted to throw up. Silvan moved easily and fluidly in the rain, his nearly white coat darkened by the water and the clouds, but his relaxed presence had no effect on Cindy. Every particle of her body was attuned to Jack, and what Jack was doing. She couldn't stop herself. It didn't help matters that Lucas was absent - called away by his family - which left only Jack to give her directions.

The rain was steady and slow, the drops slapping against Cindy's helmet as she stood silently. She could see Sarah McCormick further down the row of jockeys and trainers, wearing the colorful green and purple silks of Italian Affair's owners. Italian Affair, a large bay colt, was a grade two winner on turf and looked like the most logical choice for favorite. Cindy watched the colt and jockey for a moment before Sarah turned, glancing back down the row of jockeys to give Cindy a small smile. Cindy smiled tightly back and turned away suddenly when she felt Jack behind her.

"He's easy," Jack said quietly behind her. "You've got gate three, so if you break sharply he should carry you straight to the lead. You have that down and he'll rate himself through the backstretch to have enough to ride along home. Got it?"

Cindy nodded wordlessly. She was used to front running horses, and Silvan seemed composed enough to pull off a wire-to-wire victory. She couldn't feel the raindrops on her anymore because Jack was holding the umbrella just over her head. He was close enough for her to hear him talking softly, but she didn't turn around.

"You're not thinking about the horse, Cin," he said, seeming to understand everything going on. "Just forget about everything else, alright?"

Cindy snorted softly, wondering how he could possibly think it was that easy. She had been speculating for hours, and couldn't even grasp what David had told him.

"We'll talk later," he said, close enough to make her stiffen, her body betraying more than she wanted to admit to him just yet.

"Okay," Cindy said, watching as Silvan stopped in front of her, the groom giving them expectant looks. Jack lifted Cindy into the saddle effortlessly and she found herself on Silvan's back, readying herself to run instinctively. Silvan moved forward eagerly, the other horses in the race tossing their wet heads and swishing drops of water from their tails.

They entered the track with the other seven horses, the third in the post parade to the gate. The race was a mile and a sixteenth on soft turf that was just firm enough to be acceptable for racing. Silvan was steady under her, and the other horses danced up and down as they warmed up.

Cindy didn't care at the moment. The horses, Silvan, the race ahead of her did not matter. She was only about six minutes away from looking at Jack again, and she couldn't really stand it.

"Look alive, Cindy," Sarah called as she trotted by on Italian Affair, the bay colt high stepping on the grass and prancing quickly.

"I'm alive as I can be," Cindy said, slowing Silvan at the gate. "Considering."

"Pretty disgusting weather," Sarah agreed, not really realizing what Cindy could be referring to. "Good thing this baby likes this turf."

Cindy nodded as Italian Affair went into the gate, following closely on Silvan. She busied herself as she always did, pulling down her goggles and readying the colt to run. Silvan looked out the gate curiously, picking his dark ears. Cindy vaguely remembered that this was a Heavenly Choir colt, a sibling of Joy, but the realization quickly dimmed once they were out of the gate.

Silvan shot forward like a bullet, pushing and thrusting out of the group of colts and older horses. Cindy barely encouraged him, feeling him settle into his own pace once they had established the early lead. She could feel her heart pounding in time with the colt's strides. The rain continued its lazy fall over the track as they cut through the water, kicking up mud and grass. Cindy didn't feel any of that. Silvan was in front to stay.

They crossed the finish line an easy two lengths ahead, and they stood in the winner's circle for less time than usual because of the rain. Cindy didn't take two glances at Jack before she had tugged the saddle from Silvan's back and left with a flourish of raindrops.

The rest of the day went much the same. Cindy watched herself come in fourth on Fifty Shy in the Travers, the Baffert colt obviously exhausted and nowhere near willing to put in his all. Linebacker had stolen the show, inching away from Fresh Tactics in the final yards of the race. Cindy had never been close.

Standing in the paddock for her last race of the day she noticed that it had stopped raining. The track at Saratoga was shimmering and washed anew by the water, but Cindy hardly felt any of the invigorating freshness. Through most of the day she had accumulated an impressive amount of grime, and with the mud and the smell of horses she felt as though she had had her fill. Her face and hands were as clean as she could make them, but overall she was dirty and she was tired, not to mention nervous as hell.

Casually she twirled the long racing crop in her fingers, feeling the burned lettering on the handle. The leather was still wet from the recently ended rain, and her fingers slipped over it as she dropped the small piece of equipment on the ground.

Before she could pick it up, another hand reached into her way and did it for her, lifting it up with a slight shake to rid it of any additional dirt it might have come in contact with. Cindy hesitated just slightly, staring at David with a slow calm as he handed the crop back to her.

She took it wordlessly and turned away, watching Sunday Punch make his circuits around the paddock. He was spotted in the brief moments of light; his dappled coat flashing and dulling as the clouds raced overhead, scattered by the wind.

Cindy felt a loose hair work its way out from under her helmet and she pushed it back. She could see Jack approaching on the left, and out of the corner of her eye she could see David standing unyieldingly to her right. Instead of talk to either of them, Cindy simply fidgeted with her crop, clenched and unclenched her jaw, and breathed a sigh of relief when Sunday stopped in front of her so she could vault onto his back.

They left the paddock without so much as a look back. The other seven horses were filed into the post parade and Cindy settled Sunday with them, the rise and gentle fall of the colt's hooves against the track becoming the only thing she could hear. They warmed up into the turn, and loaded into the water-streaked starting gate, twitching excitedly with the explosive attitudes of sprinters.

Sunday Punch squealed in the gate and banged twice before the doors opened. Cindy didn't hear the bell, but rose with the colt as he launched himself forward and out, sprinting down the backstretch.

It seemed like a fractured stretch of seconds to Cindy, and all at once she was reduced to a passenger. Sunday had catapulted to the lead and was speeding toward the turn, setting fractions with quick and efficient strides. The rest of the field chased after him, clumping into a group as though safety in numbers really applied in racing.

Cindy sat quietly on the gray's back, smiling at the relative ease of the race and thinking about how nice it was to not get hit in the face with mud. Sunday was coming down to the wire on a hand ride, and Cindy was not yet concerned that he had begun to slow on the lead. Then she suddenly realized they were an eighth of a mile away from the finish line and she could hear the sound of another horse closing quickly on the outside.

She never had time to react before Streamline was bounding by her, the colt's green and gold colors of Townsend Acres slipping quickly by. Cindy suddenly threw her body into the race and brought her crop down on Sunday's flank, but her effort was too late. Sunday launched into the race, reacting sharply to the whip as Streamline took a length lead, followed by two more -- Brokenhearted and Only Man. The two shoved past and around Cindy, sliding in front at the wire. Sunday Punch was a stunned fourth, his race ruined as Cindy stood shakily in the stirrups and wondered what had happened.

This wasn't what a first class jockey did, and she sat meekly in the saddle when she realized it. Sunday was in route to win, and she had sat there frozen.

The gray colt had slowed down on his own, and Cindy shook herself back to life. She could see the colt's groom waiting for them and she slowed Sunday at the grandstand, ignoring the angry bettors and the belligerent shouts of those who had had too much to drink and lost. Her booted feet landed on the muddy track and she ripped the saddle from the colt's back, turned on her heel, and strode purposely away, letting the angry yells roll off her back like the rain.

Cindy never wore a watch, so as she sat in the large, beautiful lobby of the hotel she had no clue what time it was. There was a glass of gin and tonic in front of her, and she quietly twirled it around on the glass table. She didn't look up; making condensation rings on the glass seemed more interesting.

Jack was sitting across from her, looking around the lobby at nothing in particular. They had not talked about what they had come to the lobby to talk about, although at this point Cindy was confused about what they were even going to discuss. There was her horrible performance in the King's Bishop, and there was the second, more ominous topic that she preferred to leave alone. Either way, silence seemed to be dominating the conversation.

Cindy looked down at herself, brushing her hands over the hem of her red tank top and down her expensive blue jeans. She scratched an irritable itch on her bare ankle and wished her sandals weren't hurting her feet. She had almost erased why she was sitting there before she looked up and caught Jack looking at her.

The blush that hit her cheeks was instantaneous, and she glanced away quickly. When he didn't say anything, and didn't stop looking at her, she cleared her throat and took a sip of the drink.

"You know," she said, starting off a little awkwardly. "We could yell about the King's Bishop instead of not saying anything."

"Would you prefer yelling?" he asked, and she shrugged.

"Almost," she told him flatly, taking another sip.

"I'm not going to yell," he said, running a hand through his hair and then leaning forward. "I'm just wondering what the hell happened."

"It was my fault," Cindy began, and stopped when she saw that smirk he commonly gave her.

"I know that, Cin," he said, and she groaned.

"Okay! But I just couldn't get settled and everything happened at once and I was just not prepared for this day to turn into what it did," Cindy said, pinning him now with her eyes.

"Oh, so now it's suddenly my fault that you couldn't concentrate on the race," he said, giving her a short laugh. "Now I've heard everything."

"Jack, that's not fair. You can hold all of this crap over my head that I'm not even in control of and hint away that you're pissed at me and what the hell did you expect?"

"A good ride from a top jockey," he told her without hesitation, and Cindy sat back in her seat with a slam.

"Oh, it's just that easy," she said sarcastically.

"Yeah, it's just that easy," he repeated, nodding.

"Can we just discuss what I came here to discuss?" Cindy asked. "Because this isn't helping."

"Fine," he said, getting up and leaving the drink. He looked at Cindy, who stared back up at him from her seat. "Let's go."

Cindy stood in the elevator, her back pressed against the wall and her eyes glued to the flashing numbers above the door. Jack stood next to her, staring at the floor instead of the numbers, and she could hear him shifting his weight and breathing quietly.

Since the King's Bishop had been listed as official, Cindy had been in a state of panic. After she had cleaned up in the showers after the race he had met her outside the jockey's room and asked her to meet him at his hotel to talk about everything. Now that she was en route to the talk, Cindy was feeling ridiculous and nervous, but mostly self-conscious. She quietly tugged her blond hair behind her ear and looked over at Jack as the elevator came to a stop and the doors slid open.

"Number 634," he said, and she nodded mutely, following him down the hallway.

She crossed her arms over her chest and stepped into the suite after he opened the door, trying to ignore her hammering heart and look composed at the same time. She walked into the room, surveyed the couch and the second room beyond where she could see the foot of a bed and a couple of suitcases sitting on the floor, before sitting down in one of the arm chairs and looked at him expectantly.

"So?" she asked when he seemed to hesitate. She was tired of waiting and dragging it out. If he had something to say she wanted to hear it.

"You want a drink?" he asked, and she forced herself to not scream.

"Yes," she said instead, taking the small glass he handed her and swallowing a gulp of the stiff liquid inside. She made a small face and put the glass down on the table, watching him carefully.

"I really don't know where to start," Jack said, collapsing on the sofa across from her. Cindy leaned forward, taking the glass and looking into it. She took another drink.

"What do you want to know?" Cindy asked, deciding to take a plunge. It was about time something was made clear, and if now was the time, Cindy thought, so be it.

"I want to know the truth about you and David," he said, and Cindy let herself smile wryly.

"Why? Did you hear some fantastic rumor?" Cindy asked sarcastically, not understanding why she suddenly had decided to test him.

"Yeah," he said. "From the horse's mouth, so to speak."

Cindy couldn't help but laugh.

"And what did he have to say? I'll bet it was just astonishing."

"Are you just trying to make this bad?" he asked her instead.

"No," Cindy said, taking another drink. "You were the one who wanted to talk about it."

"Well, we're talking about it."

Cindy nodded and got up, walking over to the couch and sitting down next to him. He looked at her questioningly and she gave him a little smile. He was still wearing his clothes from the race, and the dress shirt looked like it had had enough. It was wrinkled, half unbuttoned to the T-shirt underneath, and the sleeves rolled to his elbows, but Cindy liked that about Jack. He had a way that made looking rumpled extremely eye catching. All of a sudden she could feel her crush on him come rushing to the surface, and she had to glance away as she began to talk.

"He kissed me," she said, locking her eyes on the table in front of her and keeping them focused on that instead of Jack. "I didn't want him to, but he did it anyway. And that's pretty much the beginning and the end of the story."

"Yeah?" he asked, as though he didn't quite believe it.

"Well, yeah," Cindy said, suddenly looking back at him. "Why? What did he say?"

"Not that," Jack told her, and she sighed.

"Little son of a bitch," she muttered, rubbing her eyes and leaning back on the sofa after she grabbed her drink and downed the rest of it.

"Look, Cin," he said. "It's not my place to police you."

"You don't," she told him simply as she got up and went to the small fridge, rummaging through it. Suddenly she felt like drinking, as if clouding her brain enough would make her forget the lies David told.

"Well, I feel like an older brother here," he said.

Cindy snorted, inspecting the vodka label on the small, plastic bottle she held in front of her. "You're hardly an older brother to me."

"Which brings me to my other point," Jack said, and Cindy shook her head, closed the door to the fridge, and carried a few small liquor bottles back to the sofa with her.

"Which is?" Cindy asked him, ripping the seal on the vodka bottle and taking a quick swallow. Jack waited for her to stop wincing before he took the bottle away from her and put the lid back on.

"Just keep up with me for a few more seconds and then you can drink yourself sick, okay?"

She paused and nodded at his blue eyes.

"Okay," he said. "He said he couldn't compete with me. Want to tell me what that means?"

Cindy looked longingly at the bottle he held in his hand before looking up to meet his eyes, swallowing deliberately. This wasn't how she wanted things to go, and she quietly cursed herself for being so careless with David. Now Jack knew everything; even the small secrets she hadn't allowed herself to say out loud more than once. So she decided to play it off.

"Right," she said, waving her hand in the air as though she was drunker than she really was. "He thinks I'm madly in love with you, or something like that. Because I didn't want him, I guess. And since you don't give me a chance to reject you because you don't kiss me out of the blue, that means I love you? I don't know, Jack. I'm pretty confused."

"I can see that," he said, giving her a wary look as she smiled and reached for the small bottle again, prying his fingers off of it and taking it back.

"Everything good now?" Cindy asked, acting a little more peppy than she had intended. In truth, she thought she was going to die from the anxiety of being found out.

"Good enough," Jack said, picking up a bottle from the table and tapping it against hers. "Cheers."

Cindy grinned at him, lifting the small bottle in salute. "Cheers."


	12. Chapter 12

12

An hour later, Cindy's sandals were tossed carelessly underneath the coffee table and her long blond hair had been tugged unceremoniously into a messy ponytail that sagged a bit at the nape of her neck. She was working on her third complimentary bottle of vodka, masked with a carton of orange juice, and as far as she was concerned the events of an hour ago hadn't crossed her scopes as awkward.

Most of the past hour had involved trying to forget, but even with the dulling effect of the vodka Cindy could still remember why she was up in Jack's hotel room to begin with. David had lied, and, although she preferred to not know the specifics, Cindy couldn't forget that.

"Okay," Cindy said, summoning up her courage. "Tell me what he said. The whole thing."

Jack arched an eyebrow at her. This wasn't the first time she had asked him that.

"No," Cindy suddenly changed her mind. "Never mind. I don't think I want to know."

"Cindy," Jack said, putting his glass of whisky down on the table. "You've been going at this for a while now. Do you want to know or not?"

Cindy sighed and shrugged. "No, I don't really want to know. I don't think so, anyway."

"Yeah, I'll give you another five minutes to change your mind again. Then I'm refusing to speak about it," Jack told her, picking his glass up again and kicking off his shoes, relaxing on the sofa.

"I only get five minutes?" Cindy asked, frowning as she looked at him. He smiled.

"Yes. Only five minutes."

"I don't really see how that's fair," Cindy huffed.

"Well, you have asked me this question at least four times and taken it back. I think one more chance is really too fair," Jack laughed, drinking.

"But, there's no such thing as too fair," Cindy exclaimed, getting another amused glance from Jack as she hesitated and frowned, crossing her legs Indian style on the couch and looking away.

They sat in relative silence for no more than a minute before Cindy had changed her mind again.

"Are you absolutely sure this time?" Jack asked her wryly.

"Yes," Cindy said, nodding her head emphatically.

"Are you sure?" Jack asked, getting one of Cindy's impatient looks. Jack still hesitated.

"Yes!" Cindy exclaimed, waving her hand and nearly spilling her drink onto the ivory sofa. A few drips of orange juice and vodka slipped over the side of the glass and down to her fingers. Scowling at the sticky juice, Cindy put the glass down and her hand up to her mouth, cleaning off her index finger.

Jack stared at her, and she looked up with a smile.

"Well?" she asked, nudging him after she finished licking up the escaped drink.

"Yeah," he said slowly. "You're sure."

"Jack, I'm not saying 'yes' again," Cindy told him curtly, going back to her drink after she cleaned up the sides of the glass.

"Alright," Jack said, shrugging. "Are you paying attention?"

"You have my undivided, rapt attention," Cindy smiled at him, putting extra stress on the last word. He smiled at her, and she smiled back, feeling as though they weren't about to discuss a false claim made about her.

"David said," Jack said, pausing as though he were waiting for Cindy to shake the answer out of him. Cindy raised her eyebrows.

"That you and he were physically intimate on the office sofa not three weeks after you got to Saratoga," he said as though speaking the words hurt him. When he was done elaborating to Cindy's request, she was smiling and he seemed put off.

"You just couldn't say that David said he had sex with me," Cindy pointed out, forgetting completely what David had claimed and focusing on the more recent.

"Well," Jack cleared his throat. "It is a little hard for me to even come close to thinking about, let alone say it."

"Why?" Cindy grinned, pinning Jack in the cross hairs.

"What?" Jack asked, and she leaned forward, shifting herself on the sofa.

"Does my big, bad brother have an overprotection complex?" Cindy laughed, teasing him, which was a rare occurrence. Her smile widened when he seemed to wince.

"No," he said, grabbing her hand so she'd stop poking him in the knee. "Far from that."

"Really?" Cindy challenged, putting down her drink on the table and going into full battle stance. "I think you're lying."

"Hey, I'm far from brotherly," he pointed out, and she gave him that, nodding.

"Okay, but then what are you?"

"I am about to beat you at this game, Cin," he warned her. "Don't push it."

However, Cindy was already pushing it and before either of them really knew what was going on they had wrestled each other off of the sofa and onto the floor. Cindy landed on a heap on top of Jack, and pushed herself up, smiling wickedly as she sat up on his stomach.

"Did you beat me?" she asked, putting a finger to her bottom lip as though she were pondering her situation. "Because how is it that..."

Before she could say anything else he had a hand clapped over her mouth and another on her waist, pushing her off of him. He only pulled his hand away when she was stuck underneath him, pressed close to the coffee table with her drink teetering on the edge above her.

"Jack," she whined, and he grinned.

"It's so easy to get you to complain," he stated and she began to squirm in attempts to inch out from under him.

"I'm not complaining," she defended. "It's just not fair."

"Yeah, keep singing that song," he rolled his eyes.

"Oh, I will," she declared.

"Good," he said with a smile. "I'm not tired of it yet."

Cindy pouted and squirmed some more, finally giving up and going lax against him. She found it almost ironic that she could handle a half ton horse and not be able to out muscle Jack in a stupid wrestling match. Then again she really had no problem with it at all.

"Okay," Cindy said, "I'm giving in."

"You mean that, or is that some ploy to catch me off guard?" he asked her, narrowing her eyes.

"Oh, rest assured I'm going to try and catch you off guard," she told him. "I just don't know when it will happen."

"Well, for the sake of keeping things interesting," he broke off, letting her go. She sat up and he offered her a hand that she didn't take. Instead she got to her feet on her own, picking up her drink off the table. As soon as she straightened she could feel the blood and alcohol rush to her head and suddenly she felt horrible as her vision got fuzzy and her stomach clenched. Before she knew it she had let go of her drink and Jack was holding onto her arms to keep her upright.

"Crap," Cindy muttered, suddenly feeling the wave of nausea passing as she found the sofa and fell onto it. Staring up at the ceiling she felt much better, and she almost smiled.

"You're freaking weird, you know that?" Jack told her.

"Yeah," she nodded, seeing the orange stain on his dress shirt. "You're going to smell like a screwdriver if you don't take that off."

"Is that bad?" Jack asked, and since wrinkled her nose. The smell of alcohol didn't help her stomach and she nodded.

"Okay," he said, unbuttoning the rest of the shirt and tugging it off along with the white t-shirt underneath. He tossed the unwanted articles of clothing back to his room and ran a hand through his hair as Cindy frowned at him, wondering if what he had done was such a good idea.

"Feeling better?" he asked her, and Cindy almost laughed, wondering what he meant.

"Yes," she answered truthfully. "I am."

She watched silently as he cleaned up what was left of her drink, and finally she closed her eyes and stretched out on the sofa. Part of her wanted to fall asleep, but the other side of her was itching for her to open her eyes and stay awake. It was already nearing midnight, and she had a feeling she wasn't going to be able to leave the sofa and go home if she gave in to her tired body. So she forced her eyes open and they automatically fell on Jack walking out of the bedroom.

He had changed into jeans and a clean gray shirt, and Cindy smiled a hello to him when he sat down on the sofa by her knees. She scooted her legs out of the way to allow him room and rolled onto her side, looking at him warily as he rested a hand on the back of the sofa.

"You look like you're ready to hit the sack," he told her, and she laughed a little, stretching again.

"Appearances are deceptive," she answered coyly, settling into the sofa. "I'm really not tired at all."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

She poked him in the side with her toe and wriggled her legs, complaining that he was crowding her. In response, he pinned down her legs and finally stretched out next to her on the sofa after she kicked free.

"Hi," Cindy said, mildly surprised that he had chosen to do.

"Hey," he greeted, looking at her quietly from five inches away. Cindy squirmed under the scrutiny, finding it hard to meet his dark blue eyes when they were so close.

"I'm a little hot," Cindy told him, cursing her mind for going blank right when she needed it the most. Jack lifted his eyebrows for a split second before smiling.

"Yeah, body heat and alcohol can do that to you," he told her with a smirk.

"You sure it's not the thermostat?" she asked him, and he nodded.

"It's cranking out the air conditioning, Cin," he told her, and she sighed, squirming some more.

"Hey," he said, putting a hand on her hip to still her, unwittingly causing the completely opposite reaction. Cindy jumped and shot her brown eyes up to his, questioning him.

"Calm down," he said, laughing.

"I should probably go," she told him.

"It would be irresponsible of me to let you go," he told her.

"I can go," she reiterated.

"I'm not letting you," he told her flat out.

"Jack, I'm not drunk," she whined.

"Cin, you have the tolerance of a very small ant. You're drunk. Stay," he ordered, keeping his hand on her hip until she stopped squirming and relented, nodding.

"Fine," she sighed, biting her lower lip out of her own nervousness. She settled herself on the sofa and smiled at him. There was a quiet silence, before they launched into stupid small talk, laughing at the appropriate times and telling dumb jokes to get a foothold on their new situation.

Finally, Cindy poked him in the stomach and inched a little closer.

"How the hell did you even believe David, anyway?" she asked him. "Really, Jack. How?"

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Part of me knew not to believe it in the first place. I'm not that gullible, Cin."

"Oh, no," Cindy shook her head. "You believed it."

"Okay, fine," he nodded. "I believed it."

"You jerk!" Cindy cried, hitting him in the side lightly. He grabbed her hand before she could do it again and nodded.

"Okay, I'm a jerk," he told her, holding her hand between them. "But honestly, you don't have any idea."

"Then give me an idea," Cindy told him, to which he shook his head.

"Nah, let's not ruin an already beautiful day of accusations and drunkenness, okay?"

"I'm going to find out," she promised him.

"And eventually I won't stop you from finding out," he told her with a smile tugging on his mouth.

"Eventually?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "I don't know if that's good enough for me."

"Deal," he told her stubbornly.

"I can get you to talk," she told him playfully, trying to tickle him and getting no response.

"Sadly, you're going to have to find another way," he told her, smiling as she sighed her frustration.

"Damn it," she frowned, then started to squeal as he did the same to her, tickling her until she wriggled herself all over the couch and finally straight into him to evade his hands. As soon as she felt herself fall straight into him, she reared her head back and looked at him. That stopped his hands in their tracks, but instead of making a hasty retreat like she had figured he would, he wrapped an arm around her back and held her there.

"Jack," she said quietly, and he answered her as though it had been a question.

"Yeah?"

"What are we doing?" she asked him, bringing her head back toward him.

"I think we're two steps away from doing something stupid," he answered her, and she had to smile a little.

"Something stupid?" she asked. "Just two steps away?"

"Yeah, it's probably more like one, to be honest," he said.

She felt his grip on her tighten a little and her breath caught in the back of her throat. Her heart was beating far too fast, and she tried to stare him down.

"Are we in the process of stepping?" she asked carefully, digging the pads of her fingers into the soft cotton material of his shirt.

"Yes, but not exactly as planned," he shrugged, and Cindy raised an eyebrow.

"You're planning?" she asked, feeling all the hair on her limbs raise at once as a slow creeping feeling ran down her spine. She shivered through the haze of alcohol and realized she was actually nervous, which she found amusing. After all this time of being near Jack, the thought of being nervous about being with Jack almost made her laugh. Suddenly her head was a swarm of dizzying emotions, and all of them were vying with each other. She had wanted this, naturally, but at the same time she feared it, and so she shook quietly.

"Hey," he said, rubbing his hand up and down her back. "Calm down, Cin. Take a deep breath, okay?"

It was then that she realized she hadn't been breathing, so she opened her mouth and sucked down the air like candy, keeping her eyes steady on his.

"So what's the plan?" she asked him when she got her courage up.

"It's coming to me as I go," Jack informed her.

"Are you going to forewarn me?" Cindy asked, feeling his roving hand dip into her hair and settle at the nape of her neck. He inched toward her again and she shivered automatically, holding her breath again.

"Most likely not," he informed her with a smile, and she opened her mouth to voice her immediate comeback, which was the natural response between them, but he cut her off. She felt a gentle pull on the back of her neck and before she could take back any of her lost control, Cindy felt her lips grazing over Jack's. She widened her eyes briefly and pulled back to gauge what was going on, but she didn't have much chance to analyze the situation. In her gut she could already feel herself giving in, and when he pushed toward her again she knew. The flood gates had been slammed down.

Although she knew he had shaved, since Jack always shaved before the races, she could already feel the shadow of stubble grazing over her skin as he kissed her. It was a rough feeling against her skin that she hadn't felt in years, so she closed her eyes and eagerly kissed him back, throwing caution to the wind and letting the feeling that was running down her spine take over her action. She opened her mouth and kissed him back, pressing as much as he pulled her toward him.

Some part of it must have been the alcohol running through her suddenly rushing blood, but every part of Cindy was singing. Jack pushed his hand back through her tangled blond hair and kept a firm grip on her lower back, trapping her against him although she had no wish to move. She didn't stop him when his hand strayed from her back and slid under her shirt, and she didn't stop him when it wandered across her bare skin to brush against her bra. She didn't stop him when the bra didn't become a concern anymore and was out of the picture for good. Cindy was immersed in the moment, and all she wanted was to continue feeling wonderful.

With their hands roaming to cover places they had never been, and their eyes slipping open every few seconds to record the moment, Cindy smiled quietly against his mouth in her knowledge that this shouldn't be happening. But it was happening, and she was going to let it continue.

"What?" he asked when he saw her smile. He slid his hand back down her stomach and she kissed him, pushing her hands through his hair.

"I was just thinking that we shouldn't be doing this," she told him against his mouth.

"Yeah, you're probably right," he said, stopping any further talking and kissing her again, keeping his hand down around the edge of her jeans. Cindy rose up to meet him, not caring where his hand went as long as he kept kissing her. She pulled one hand from his dark hair and let it rove down his chest and stomach, taking her own exploratory trip down the smooth muscles that she found.

"We should stop," Cindy told him between kisses, and he mildly agreed, kissing her back. She felt his hand invade under her jeans without undoing the zipper, taking advantage of their looseness to run along the edge of her underwear. Cindy hissed out a breath as he went a little further, and finally pushed back.

"Jack," she said, and he nodded, pulling back.

They looked at each other warily, as though testing where their limits stood. They laid side by side on the couch, their hands resting where they stopped, staring at each other as though they'd just seen each other, or just discovered something drastically new. Cindy licked her already wet lips and pushed herself away until she felt herself pressing against the back of the couch. They were drunk, and she scolded herself when she saw him hesitate before reaching out to her again.

A slight shake of her head stopped him in his tracks and he sighed, relaxing next to her on the sofa. They didn't speak at all. Instead they both looked at each other until she noticed he was falling asleep. Finally, his breathing evened and Cindy squeezed her eyes shut, wondering what the repercussions were going to be in the morning. When she looked at Jack again she knew she wasn't going to stay to find out.

Carefully, she climbed over him and put her bare feet on the carpeted floor. Lurching herself up, she slipped her feet into the sandals and grabbed her things. She picked her keys out of her purse and headed for the door, trying not to look behind her.

The track was silent except for the rumbling beats of horses' hooves against dirt and the soft sound of air pouring out of wide nostrils. Cindy hovered over the strong chestnut back of Wonderment, feeling his flame-colored mane sting against her hands as it slapped up and down with each stride. Without much effort, Wonderment skimmed over the track with giant strides and pricked his ears eagerly at the distance of the track. Cindy patted a hand against his sweaty neck, feeling the muscles coil and tremble. She slowed him down going into the first turn, standing up further in the saddle. They had just gone four furlongs in a nearly perfect time.

"That looked fantastic," Josie called over to Cindy as she started out on War Hero, the dark bay colt prancing and dancing, eager to get the show on the road. The sun was rising steadily on the horizon, and already Cindy could see the red sheen glimmering through his dark coat.

"Thanks," Cindy smiled tightly, running her hand over Wonderment's gold mane and giving him another pat on the neck. Wonderment slowed to an elegant trot, bouncing lightly past War Hero as the dark colt smoldered and fought Josie.

"Hey," Josie said, wheeling War Hero so she could talk quickly. "What's up with Jack? He's, well, acting weird."

Cindy frowned and shook her head, pulling Wonderment to a halt before she got to the gap. "I don't want to talk about it, Jo."

"We're talking when we get home," Josie responded quickly, a smile appearing on her face. Cindy rolled her eyes.

"Really," Cindy said. "Don't want to talk about it."

"You say that now," Josie told her, turning War Hero around and letting him head up the track. "You'll change your mind!" she called behind her as she went, and Cindy sighed before asking Wonderment to continue to the gap.

She had gotten home late last night, and she hadn't talked to Jack since. Partly it was out of fear of what he would say, and partly it was out of fear that she couldn't stop things from changing. Cindy had never liked change. When she was a girl, change had meant heading into something worse than she had before. To Cindy, she had made a mistake with Jack and to her it didn't even matter that he had been willing to make the mistake along with her. It was still a mistake, no matter how much she had wanted it to happen.

Cindy walked Wonderment off the track, giving David a blank look before turning away and jumping off the colt. She gathered the reins and ignored the groom, taking Wonderment back to the stables herself. The chestnut colt followed her, swishing his tail and pricking his ears at passers by, nickering out greetings to friends and pinning his ears at those he didn't like. Cindy slapped him on the shoulder when he threatened, tugging him to the outside of the barn to untack him and do the common work she hadn't done in months.

Silently, she allowed the groom to hold the colt as she washed him up and rinsed him off. She hotwalked him and fussed over him, completely forgetting her role on the backside for the moment. He had been her last horse of the day, and her first race was the last on the card. She had all the time in the world.

Finally, Cindy slid the colt back in his stall and ran her hand over his face, giving him a kiss on the nose.

"What do you think will happen?" Cindy asked the colt quietly as he nuzzled his hay net, ripping out a hunk and chewing on it thoughtfully. "He probably thinks I'm crazy," she told the colt. "But he didn't know what he was doing last night. Neither did I. It was all up to stupid hormones, right?"

Wonderment gave her a soft look from his brown eyes and Cindy sighed, gave him a pat on the neck, and turned around. What she saw behind her was David with a small smile on his face.

"What the hell do you want?" she asked him, picking up Wonderment's tack and heading to the back room to swing it onto the colt's designated hooks.

"I wanted to apologize," he said, leaning in the doorway as she finished up with the tack and pushed past him.

"Oh?" she asked, snorting. "For what, exactly? Your attitude toward me for the past week, what you told Jack, or for making my life miserable for the past forty-eight hours?"

"Okay," he said, following her out. "I said that I'm sorry, and I mean that. I didn't intend all of the stuff that happened, and I'm deeply sorry for lying to Jack."

"Yes, I'm sure you are," she sighed, looking down the once empty aisle. It was now teaming with several grooms walking horses in and out of stalls to head to the receiving barn. Races started soon, and the backside was about to explode with activity. Without a word, Cindy ducked into the office. The last thing she wanted was to start up rumors.

"Seriously," David said, following her inside and closing the door. Cindy leaned against the desk and frowned at him, expecting more. "I'm really, very sorry."

"I don't particularly care, David," Cindy said, crossing her arms and looking away. "I have my own problems right now and I really don't need you messing around in my life. Just forget it."

David was quiet for a moment as he leaned against the closed door, considering her. "You know," he finally said, shrugging. "You should get things settled with Jack."

Cindy only looked at him, giving him a tired expression that made him continue talking quickly, as if trying to get all his thoughts in before she kicked him out of the office.

"I mean, I don't know what's going on between you both, but I know Jack and I know he's not going to take any action on this. It all has to be up to you to get him talking. Jack isn't the kind of guy..."

"What do you know?" Cindy spat at him, laughing. "You don't even know what's going on."

"Then what's going on?"

Cindy frowned at him, and looked away.

"Should I just make up scenarios?" David asked her. "I can do that, Cin."

"Oh, I know you can do that quite well," Cindy shot at him, and he nodded.

"Yeah, I deserve that."

"You sure as hell do," Cindy told him, frowning.

"I'm sorry," he stressed. "I can't do much more than beg."

Cindy sighed and rolled her eyes, giving him a look.

"Tell me?"

"No," Cindy shook her head.

"Well, obviously something happened," he said. "Jack is hardly speaking to anyone today, and you're acting bitchy to everyone."

"You are hardly going to start analyzing my situation," Cindy told him, suddenly getting up and pushing past him to the door. She opened the door and saw two exercise riders look up at her curiously. Cindy sighed and slammed the door behind her. She might as well give everyone something to talk about.

That night, Cindy at on one of the lawn chairs, sipping at a glass of wine and staring at the pool. Laura and Josie were sitting opposite her, both looking at her like she was crazy.

"Well, this is a classic good-friends-get-drunk situation," Laura began, looking over at Josie for comment.

"Sure, I see that," Josie shrugged. "Boy and girl meet, they become great friends because circumstances refuse to let them get together romantically, they eventually let stress build to the breaking point, which usually involves alcohol and second guesses."

"Nice analysis," Cindy told her cousin, rolling her eyes emphatically.

"Well, that's what happened, isn't it?" Laura asked, getting a nod from Josie and a frustrated sigh from Cindy.

"Guys, it's not that I don't appreciate the counseling here, but I think this will just ride itself out."

"Oh right," Laura laughed.

"Hardly," Josie agreed.

"Stop it!" Cindy demanded.

"No," Josie said, shaking her head. "From all that I can tell, you should march yourself back to Jack's hotel room. You guys need to have a long, long talk."

"But," Cindy tried, getting cut off by Laura.

"Really, Cin," her roommate nodded. "You've liked Jack for ages, and you can't freak out now. This is like you, Cin. You freak out at the worst times, and this is the most illogical of all the freak outs you've had."

"But, I just think that he really didn't want to," Cindy said, not knowing what she was trying to say. "We were both stupid and drunk. It was a bad situation now that I look at it closely."

"You don't know," Josie pointed out. "You're thinking too much. You like Jack, and Jack likes you. As far as I can see, there shouldn't be any problems anymore now that you've gotten past the first plunge."

"But there are," Cindy groaned, putting down her wine glass. She was getting tired of the interventions, and now that she was being pushed around by two of the most persistent people she knew, Cindy was not optimistic about the situation.

"No!" Laura exclaimed. "Jesus, Cindy. This is so irritating. You like Jack. Jack knows this, or at least he did. If you can't get it through your skull that Jack was the initiator, that Jack wasn't repulsed by the whole thing, and that Jack would have said very clearly that he didn't want to be with you, then Jack has no problem with what happened! He's probably pissed as hell that you've avoided him all freakin' day and now, unless you go straight back to his hotel, he'll probably think that it all really was a mistake. Go now. Now, Cindy."

Cindy was too busy being shocked by Laura's outburst to register her command. It took a second dose of Laura's berating and a little help from Josie to get Cindy out of her chair and in the car. By the time she was cruising up to his hotel, Cindy had a mantra running through her head to keep her going.

"How the hell did I freakin' get here?" Cindy muttered to herself as she walked into the hotel and past the front desk to the elevators. She tapped her foot against the smooth floor as she waited, going over what she had to say in her head. Laura and Josie were right; she had overreacted and nearly screwed everything up.

The elevator doors opened in front of her and Cindy stepped inside, punching the right button and waiting as the elevator started to rise. Her heart was beating hard inside her chest as she went over what she had to say. There was so much to say that the speech she had told herself in the car was starting to get jumbled, so she tried to stop thinking about it. Then the doors opened at his floor.

Slowly, Cindy walked across the aisle and to his door, pausing in front of it.

"Okay," Cindy said, looking down at herself. She didn't look too bad after Laura had thrown a white blouse at her and a fresh pair of jeans to change into. Josie had supplied make up, and confidence before shoving her out the door to the car. Now she stood in front of his hotel room like Laura and Josie had demanded of her, looking fresh and attractive, and she took a deep breath. She reminded herself that she had okayed the idea that she come here. She curled her toes against the leather of her sandals and let out a breath. She lifted her hand and knocked.

There was no answer. Cindy frowned and knocked again. Again, no answer.

"Christ," Cindy sighed, leaning forward and resting her forehead against the door. She couldn't believe this.


	13. Chapter 13

13.

It was the last stakes weekend of Saratoga, and Cindy frowned at her trembling hands as she gripped the red buttons of her silks and pushed them through the holes. Every few seconds she could see herself in the mirror she stood in front of and hesitated to look at herself, wondering how she had made it through the past few days. There was a large bruise covering her upper arm where Hansea had tossed her during their last workout, and the dark circles under her eyes were telling.

"You look like a wreck," Josie told her as Cindy finished up the last of the buttons and turned around.

"Thanks, Jo," Cindy sighed, pulling her hair back into a tight ponytail before wrapping the rubber bands around her cuffs to keep the sleeves in place next to her wrists.

"Are you ready yet?" Josie asked, walking to the door as Cindy grabbed her crop and nodded, following her cousin.

"I hope so," Cindy said, walking out with the rest of the jockeys, blinking quickly when her eyes hit the bright afternoon light. It seemed like this was the first stakes weekend where it had not rained. Instead of thunderstorms and lightning, the skies were brilliant blue and the sun was out full force.

Cindy walked into the paddock with the rest of the jockeys, their colorful silks glinting in the sun as they threaded their way through the paddock. The horses were already revolving through the ring, their pure bred bodies prancing and swinging with enthusiasm. Through the crowd, Cindy caught sight of Hansea, the dark bay filly tossing her head up and squealing as though she had a point to make. Behind her walked the more composed Angelica Tree, her bright chestnut body radiant and flashy like all her relatives before her.

Josie walked by Cindy and headed for stall six, meeting Ian to talk strategy for their filly. Cindy hung back, hesitating as she looked down the row of people and horses to stall number three. She could see Lucas there, talking with Hansea's jubilant owner, a small woman who had come into inheritance money and spent it on horses. David was not there, as Hansea was not one of his regulars. However, she could see Jack leaning carelessly against the stall, his dark hair messy and his jaw unshaved. She raised an eyebrow at that, but didn't question it. Instead she walked forward, knowing she couldn't wait much longer.

"And there's the woman of the hour," Lucas grinned at Cindy, introducing her to Mrs. Flaum, who seemed to be bubbling over at the idea that her filly was running with the best stakes fillies in the country.

"She's really an astounding girl," Cindy said, trying to keep her eyes on Mrs. Flaum instead of darting them over to Jack. She weathered Mrs. Flaum's excited talking before Lucas pulled her over to tell her what she already knew: take the filly to the inside and keep her stalking the leader, who would eventually fade because the race had plenty of early speed.

Cindy looked fleetingly at Jack, who wasn't watching her. She took that moment to take him in fully, but she hesitated to talk. She had not talked to him since watching him fall asleep, and he had not bothered approaching her. Before he shifted his glance from watching Hansea approach for the post parade of the Spinaway Stakes, Cindy glanced away and watched the dark bay instead.

"Riders up!"

The call went up over the paddock and Cindy's heart dropped to her feet. Hansea milled nervously in her spot while Cindy walked up to the filly, taking the reins the groom handed her. She didn't look back to who was giving her a leg up into the saddle. She just felt herself lifted and placed on top of the tall filly, and when she looked down she saw Jack there, his hand on the filly's dark neck. She smiled at him briefly, and he nodded wordlessly to her before Hansea took two steps forward and bounced eagerly, joining the post parade to the track.

Cindy filed into line with the eight fillies in the race, preparing herself as they paraded past the grandstand and warmed up in the backstretch. Only when Josie pulled up next to her on Angelica Tree did she stop her focus long enough to smile at her cousin.

"Good luck, Cin," Josie said with a grin before taking off. Cindy didn't have time to respond.

The fillies piled into the gate, their young legs shifting nervously. As soon as Hansea was successfully in the gate, Cindy pulled down her goggles and looked to her left, where Sarah McCormick was preparing her mount, a small bay named Orion's Story. Cindy wrapped her fingers through Hansea's mane, looking forward as the gates burst open.

Eight fillies started and ran, streaming out of the gate and up the backside of the track. It was a crush on the front, but Cindy had the advantage of her gate position. It was easy to jump past Orion's Story and Carolina, the one horse, to gain position on the rail. As expected, Not For Me lurched to the front, with True Love fighting for the lead on the outside. The two fillies started a battle down the stretch, and Cindy settled Hansea in after them, letting the two in front wear each other down.

The race was short and fast. It seemed as if no time had passed before Cindy was urging Hansea past the tired leaders to claim the lead. With Hansea in front, Cindy pulled out the crop and swung it past the filly's outside eye, keeping Hansea's attention. However, there were challengers to come.

Out of the corner of her eye, Cindy could see Josie coming on strong with Angelica Tree, the chestnut filly flying down the stretch with Whitebrook's blue and white colors. Cindy gritted her teeth and urged Hansea, feeling the filly shift leads and find another gear, pushing with all she had. It wasn't enough. Angelica Tree ripped past, her chestnut body covered in dirt and her mane streaming after her to win by a length. Hansea plunged into the second spot, and Cindy did not know the rest of the order of finish. She rose in the saddle and pulled back, gave Josie her congratulations, and returned the filly to her groom. Hansea was steaming afterward, but Cindy was already walking back to the jockey's room.

It only took a few minutes to clean up and switch silks, and Cindy seemed to emerge into the saddling paddock a new woman. The Hopeful Stakes was one of the biggest two-year-old stakes of the year, and as she walked with Josie, Laura, and Sarah she could see why. The horses in this race were not to be taken lightly.

War Hero was bending his body into his groom, his dark body already sweaty and his ears swiveling chaotically to listen to the noise surrounding him. Heliacal was walking collectedly nearby, his green and gold blinkers covering up the small white star on his forehead. Cipher was back, as was Fine Print. It's Only Given had graduated to the stakes races, and was walking with menace on the other side of the paddock. Lucas' other colt, Hero's Medal, was standing for David to saddle him up. William Lewis had the dark gray Metion in the race with Laura up, and Sarah was scheduled on Military Might, both horses coming out of California. Cindy walked past the groups of people, tried to avoid the Townsends beaming over Heliacal, and walked up to Wonderment's stall. The chestnut colt was standing irritably as Lucas saddled him, moving with the colt as Wonderment had his small temper tantrum. Darren Starks was standing with a new girl by his side. Cindy smiled at her curiously, wondering where Wonderment's owner had found her.

Cindy watched as Lucas struggled with Wonderment, jumping when she heard a voice behind her.

"Keep him close to the pace," Jack said above her, and she quickly turned around to look up at him. "He's ready to run for this one, but he has to be near Metion. Lewis' colt will set the pace, and Military Might will be close behind. Tuck Wonderment in third or fourth and ride him out to the end."

Instead of confirming these plans, Cindy furrowed her eyebrows at Jack for a second and reached up to try to touch his jaw. When he pulled back quickly, confusion flashing over his face, Cindy snatched back her hand and smiled awkwardly.

"I was just wondering why you didn't shave," she shrugged. "You always do for races."

Jack rubbed his hand over his scruffy jaw and finally shook his head. "I just didn't feel like it this time."

"Jack," Cindy started, trying to figure out how to say what she needed. She had to get him alone after the races, but suddenly she felt the presence of everyone standing nearby and she shut her mouth, trying to will him to understand her.

"What?" Jack asked, and Cindy sighed.

"I want to talk, you know," she told him as she heard the call for riders up.

"We'll see," he said, motioning to Wonderment. She frowned back and forth between the horse and Jack, finally letting the assistant trainer do his job. She was up on top of Wonderment and moving, turning around to see Jack watching her as they strode through the paddock in the forming post parade. She watched Lucas clap an arm around Jack's shoulders, the two men walking out of the paddock and to the grandstand.

Cindy took a deep breath and held it as she turned around. The horses were prancing out onto the track, spooking and rolling their eyes at the crowds. Wonderment did not spook. He only shook his gold mane and danced easily next to his out rider, following behind Metion and Laura. The horses warmed up in the backstretch, preparing for the seven furlong race. Cindy rose in the saddle, feeling Wonderment smoothly roll down the track with the other horses before they met the gate.

Cindy looked around her, catching sight of Josie in Whitebrook's blue and white. War Hero was dancing and tugging at the reins, trying to have his way. Tommy Turner was calm and collected on Heliacal, sporting the Townsend Acres' green and gold. Cipher and Fine Print were warming up to the gate, with It's Only Given galloping up the outside rail. Cindy ran her hand down Wonderment's mane and took another breath, squeezed her eyes shut, and then opened them again. Next to her, Sarah was riding by on Military Might.

The colts filed into the gate, and Wonderment walked in without trouble. Cindy rode out the momentary jerks and strains the colts put on the gate, hitting and banging around like they were testing the metal. As soon as Fine Print, the last horse in the field, entered the gate the doors banged open and Wonderment broke like lightening.

Cindy automatically cut through horses, easily slipping through holes and riding out bumps as horses jostled for position along the rail. Just as Jack had predicted, Metion and Military Might went for the lead. Cindy only had to sit back with Wonderment, but already she could tell something was not going as planned. Wonderment hauled on the reins, trying to chase down those in front of him. Cindy groaned and hauled back, entering a battle of wills with the colt as he tried to pull rank on her.

"No," Cindy said through gritted teeth, sawing back on the reins to keep Wonderment from bolting down the backstretch. She could feel Heliacal on her outside, and Fine Print behind her, clogging Wonderment into the rail. The chestnut colt grunted and switched strides in the turn, leaping out to chase at the already tiring leaders.

Cindy didn't attempt to ask the colt for more going into the home stretch. Wonderment put Fine Print away, but she could hear Heliacal plunging around them. Cindy scrubbed at Wonderment's neck and went for the crop, but Heliacal was wheeling around them and passing. Then came War Hero in a frenzy of blue, white, and black, his dark body whirling by on the inside and bursting past Heliacal to snatch the win.

Cindy finished third on Wonderment, with It's Only Given only half a length behind. She pulled up and gave the colt a pat on the neck, wishing he hadn't made her job harder. She rode the colt back to the grandstand and leaped off his back, turning to pull off the saddle and weigh in. War Hero was being led into the winner's circle, and Cindy silently waved to her family as she walked by.

Before she could make it back to the jockey's room, reporters had snagged Cindy and asked her questions. Lucas had pulled her aside and asked her what had happened and why she hadn't let him run. Cindy had only shrugged and told him that she had thought at the time it wasn't a good idea to let him run all out with the leaders. Wonderment was not a front runner, nor would he develop into one. So, after all the discussion following the race and after she had congratulated her father for his twin victories, she finally made her way down to the jockey's room, eager to change and catch Jack on the backside.

When she shoved open the door to the women's side of the jockey's room, she was met with Laura and Sarah, who were already dressed and towel drying their hair after showering. The Hopeful seemed to be everyone's last race of the day, and Cindy was no exception. She gave them both quick hellos and sprinted to the shower, standing under the warm spray to rid herself of the dirt and sweat that had accumulated there over the day. Halfway through washing her hair, she could hear Laura and Sarah talking. She didn't pay much attention to the chatter. Most of her focus was on what she would tell Jack when she got the chance. She hoped she wasn't missing him by taking the time to wash off, but she figured he wouldn't leave so soon after Lucas' horses finished running. As far as she was concerned, Cindy had all the time she needed to hone her plan of attack.

Then she heard something in the jockey's room that caught her attention, and she stopped rinsing her hair to listen.

"It was the weirdest thing," Sarah laughed. "I didn't even really expect it."

"Yeah, I wouldn't have either," Laura answered, sounding a little perplexed at what she was hearing.

"It was really out of the blue, but I thought, you know, what the hell? Why not? We got along great in New York," Sarah said, her voice so close Cindy knew the other jockeys were in the bathroom with her.

"Well, I don't know. Have fun and all, but I always thought that Jack was a little emotionally..."

"Taken?" Sarah laughed. "Yeah, I get that, too."

At that, Cindy stood still in the middle of the shower, numb to the feeling of the warm water flowing down her bare back. She turned her head again when she heard Laura talk, but she barely registered the words.

By the time she turned off the shower head, Sarah was gone. Cindy quietly wrapped herself up in a towel and stepped out of the shower stall, padding out into the carpeted jockey's room in bare feet and shivering because of the air conditioning.

Laura was sitting on one of the benches, giving Cindy a worried look.

"You heard?"

Cindy only nodded and went to her locker, pulling on a pair of jeans and a tank top before towel drying her wet hair.

"I'm really sorry, Cin," Laura said, standing up and enveloping Cindy in a hug.

"It's not a big deal," Cindy shrugged, pulling away and grabbing her brush, working out the tangles before throwing the wet mess into a sloppy ponytail to get it out of her face. "I mean, it's my fault, right?"

"No, Cin," Laura shook her head. "That's not true."

"Sure it is," Cindy said softly, packing up her things in the duffel bag. "I freaked out, I didn't catch him at the hotel, I was too..."

Laura looked at her with concern as Cindy trailed off, shrugging. "It's my fault. I'll deal."

"It's only one date, Cindy," Laura said. "Who knows what's going to happen?"

"Well," Cindy said, putting on her running shoes and hauling her duffel over her shoulder. "Whatever. I don't need to think about this right now."

With that, she gave Laura an apologetic smile and left. She walked alone down the corridor and out into the light, ignoring most people she knew until she was at her car in the parking lot next to Lucas' main Saratoga barn. She made a bee line for it and popped the trunk, throwing the duffel bag inside before slamming it shut. She stared at the trunk for a second, trying to understand what Jack had done before she shoved it from her mind and went around to the driver's door and collapsed inside the car.

She let her arms rest against the steering wheel and finally let herself consider what had happened, and before she could even think beyond how horribly she had messed things up she started to cry. The door wasn't even shut all the way, her foot was still resting on the gravel outside, and she had her head bent with her forehead resting against the hard plastic of the wheel. Tears were rolling down her cheeks and splashing against her jeans as she sobbed, feeling total desperation in that she knew she had made one of her worst mistakes.

Before she could convince herself that she didn't cry over things like Jack Fieldman, she felt the car door swing open fully and the first words out of her mouth were: "Fucking go away."

"That's not very nice," she heard David say, and she pushed herself away from the steering wheel and grabbed the door handle, trying to pry it loose from his hands so she could pull the door closed. He didn't budge.

"Damn it, Hernon," Cindy sighed, leaning back against the seat and swiping at her wet face. There was no way she wanted David Hernon to see her cry. It was already bad enough.

"Since when do you call me by my last name?" he asked her, offering his hand. She ignored him.

"Since right now, that's when," Cindy shot at him, sniffing and rummaging through her car to find some tissues. Her mother always kept tissues in her car, so why didn't she? She nearly started to cry again when she realized she didn't keep tissues in her car.

"What are you doing?" David asked, watching her search through her car.

"I don't know," Cindy spat. "Looking for Kleenex."

"Cindy, come on," he said. "Get out of the car. There's Kleenex in the office."

"Damn it, David," Cindy muttered, letting him tug her out of the car and shut the door carefully behind her. She leaned against the side of the car and crossed her arms, giving him a stony expression that was meant to scare him off. Unfortunately, it didn't work and she found him herding her toward the office. Before she knew it she was sitting on the old sofa in his office, holding a clump of Kleenex in her hands.

"Okay," he said, closing the door and coming back to the sofa to sit down next to her. Automatically she stiffened and scooted away.

"You don't need to do that," he said, watching her use all the Kleenex at once, wiping them across her eyes and blowing her nose. She deposited the used Kleenex on the coffee table and looked at him expectantly. He handed her the whole box of Kleenex and she took it quickly, cradling it in her lap.

"You don't know what the hell I need or want, so don't presume anything, okay?" Cindy told him defiantly, pulling another tissue from the box.

"I'm not presuming," David said, holding up his hands in surrender. "I just want to help out."

"Right," Cindy scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"No, really," David said, watching her carefully before sighing and running a hand through his sandy blond hair. "Talk, Cindy. It will help. I promise."

Cindy raised an eyebrow at him, before sighing. "I don't think I exactly have to tell you what it involves, do I?"

"Jack, I assumed," David shrugged.

"Well, you assume right," Cindy said, not sure why she was even giving him any information.

"So, what did Jack do?" David asked, hooking his arm over the couch and giving her his total attention. Cindy looked at him warily and pulled another tissue from the box, wiping her eyes.

"God, it doesn't even really matter," Cindy told him. "It's stupid, really."

"Cindy, what happened?" David asked clearly. "Just say it and you'll feel better. I promise."

"You know Sarah McCormick?" Cindy asked him, and he nodded. "She and Jack seem to be hitting it off extremely well."

"I see," David said, not sounding surprised, although Cindy hadn't expected him to sound surprised.

"And, you see," Cindy tried to voice what she was feeling. The problem was that her feelings were too muddled to sort out and add a voice to. "I made a huge mistake," she said, not looking at David. She stared hard at everything except David. "I had a chance and I completely let it fly by because I was scared. Which is so stupid because I really wanted it. I wanted it so badly and when it came to me I didn't know what to do with it and I thought Jack would be pissed and everything would change. Of course, now I know that things probably weren't going to change. I would keep staying me and he would keep staying Jack, only we'd be together and not dancing around the edges of this massive thing that we've created. So, once we finally got up the courage to announce the presence of this massive thing between us I go and get scared and run off. I'm just stupid. That's what it amounts to."

At that, Cindy started to cry again. She tore out a few more tissues from the box and pressed them against her eyes, trying to figure how she had let things degenerate to this.

"Cindy," David broke in quietly, getting her to look at him. "You're not stupid. Jack's the stupid one here."

"No he's not," Cindy shook her head. "I didn't stay with him and I didn't talk to him."

"But look at him now, Cin," David said. "Sarah McCormick?"

"Don't remind me," Cindy demanded, starting a fresh batch of tears. At that point, she felt David's arm wrap around her shoulders and give her a squeeze. She didn't really think about it, and so she let it remain there. She only stared at the coffee table, feeling a growing sense of frustration and anger blooming.

"Why the hell couldn't he wait to talk to me?" she said. "Was Sarah really that necessary?"

"I wouldn't think so," David told her, handing her another tissue as she started crying again. He brought her in for a hug and she didn't stop him. Crying into someone's shoulder felt nice to Cindy, and she let him hold her while she silently poured tears into his shirt, creating a damp patch in the material.

"Hey," he said, stroking her back to calm her down. "Breathe in and out, Cin. You're not going to die."

"I know that," she answered against his shirt, feeling his other hand stroke over her hair. "I just feel so horrible."

"It's going to be okay," David told her softly. "Jack isn't the only guy out there, after all."

"Just shut up, okay?" Cindy asked of him, feeling him push her back so he could see her face.

"Don't look at me like that," Cindy said, diverting her eyes when she saw his gaze travel down her face. "I look awful."  
"No you don't," he said, leaning forward just enough to brush his lips against hers. "You're beautiful and you know it."

Cindy pulled back a little, reaching up to wipe the back of her hand across her mouth.

"David," she began, wondering if she was going to have to go through this whole speech with him again. But she stopped herself and looked at him. He still had his hand cradling the back of her head, his other hand moving down to rest on her leg. He was watching her easily, waiting on her. When she didn't move, he pushed forward again and kissed her. Cindy didn't do anything at first. She kept her eyes open and surveyed this, wondering about what was to happen. A certain part of her told her push him away and head back to the car, and that part of her made the most logical sense. However, the other part of her told her to kiss him back and tell Jack to go to hell. She wasn't feeling logical anyway.

So she kissed him back, surprising him enough to make him open his eyes. Jack had already made his choice, she realized, and it hadn't been her. Well, Cindy could make her own choice also, and she wasn't going to waste her time thinking about what could have been, because it was over and done with. She wasn't going to think about it anymore.

Cindy inched closer to David and ran her hands up his shirt, grabbing it in bunches. He pulled back for a second, as though surprised by her aggressiveness, before switching gears and matching hers with his own.

He picked her up and laid her back down on the sofa, moving away from her mouth to kiss down her jaw and throat while she tugged the shirt up his back, letting her fingers trail up the hard muscles that shifted as she pressed against them. He paused just briefly to sit up and pull the shirt off, discarding it over the sofa. Cindy didn't waste time, and propped herself up, kissing him as he helped her tug the tank over her head.

Returning back down to the sofa, Cindy arched herself into him while he kissed down her clavicle, descending lower down her chest and over her bra, which was removed and discarded with the growing pile of clothes by the side of the sofa.

"You realize what you're doing, don't you?" David asked her, and she nodded.

"I do," she said, tugging him back down to her and kissing him again. She broke away only to say, "My only problem here is that pants haven't been taken off."

He smiled at her and replied, "Well, we can certainly take care of that."

Afterward, Cindy sat in her car at a red light, staring silently into space. She ran her hand absently through the tangles the sofa had made in her hair, wincing as she pulled her fingers through the remains of her ponytail. Sitting at the red light and mulling over her afternoon while pulling at her disheveled hair, Cindy didn't know whether or not to be embarrassed or brazen about what she had just decided. She sat there thinking about it and pulling her hand through her hair, not noticing when the light turned green. When the car behind her honked, she jumped and slammed her foot to the gas, gunning the Audi through the intersection.

She drove deliberately along the long route to her house, unsure of how well Josie and Laura would pick up on what had just happened. Cindy did not want to explain herself at the moment because she didn't know what to say. The best she could do was pull her hair out of its ponytail, get rid of the tangles, smooth down her clothing, and walk through her door unfazed.

Cindy stopped at another red light and put her hair back into a smooth ponytail, collecting herself before the left turn signal allowed her to pull through the intersection and continue on to her house. When she pulled up into the driveway, Laura and Ryan were playing catch again. Cindy looked at them out of her window and looked down at herself. How different did she look? To herself she was completely different, but to them was she changed?

Cindy shoved away the questions and got out of the car. It wasn't like this was the first time she had had sex, and it certainly wasn't going to be the last. She grabbed her purse from the passenger seat and slammed the car door closed, walking into the yard to say hello.

"Hey, Cin," Ryan said, tossing the ball to Laura, who jumped to catch it.

"It took you a while to get back," Laura observed, throwing the ball wildly to Ryan, who had to stretch to catch it.

"Yeah," Cindy shrugged. "Nothing big. I had to talk a little with Lucas about Wonderment before I could leave."

"Big session?" Ryan asked. "Lucas didn't look too pleased with the race."

"Yeah, you could say that," Cindy nodded, heading up to the house. "I'll be inside if anyone needs me."

"Hey," Ryan called after her. She turned on the steps and looked at him questioningly.

"I'm sorry about what happened with Jack," Ryan said. "He didn't..."

"I just don't want to talk about Jack right now," Cindy broke in, shaking her head. "But, thanks."

"Sure," Ryan said after a second, shrugging. Cindy stood frowning on the steps before she turned back to the door and let herself in, closed the door, and walked up the stairs. She wandered into the room she shared with Josie and threw herself on the bed, quietly staring at the ceiling.

She suddenly had the feeling that she didn't quite grasp what she had done with David. Leaving the barn had been awkward and horrible, but she had almost expected that. It wasn't as if she had done what she did with him out of love, or even because she liked him. She didn't like him, and the idea of loving him was almost laughable. That was strange to her, and it made her feel empty inside. She hated that feeling. Before, with Max, it had always been about love. Even when they had been on the verge of ending everything, she never felt like she did now because she had loved him then. That had made everything outstanding and perfect.

Cindy stared at the plain, white ceiling and began to feel worse. She swallowed and tried closing her eyes, wondering if what she had done would be completely unforgivable. Suddenly she could feel the bile rising in her throat and she darted off the bed and across the hall to the bathroom, collapsing in front of the open toilet.

She threw up until she couldn't anymore, and rested her head against the wall as she flushed the toilet. Shakily, she stood up and walked back to her bedroom to grab a clean pair of pajamas. She changed slowly, leaving her track clothes discarded on the floor. Turning, she crawled up onto her bed and curled up there, wondering what would happen, and, as much as she didn't want to, about Jack.


	14. Chapter 14

14.

The big gray horse galloped out of the fog, his dark and silver legs leaping before him as the mist parted and swept around him. His rider moved on his back easily, her body crouched slightly over his curved neck, hands deep in the colt's pale mane. The woman's black and white windbreaker rustled in the wind, a black star sitting in the center of a field of white. The colt was decked with black bandages, and a white saddle cloth, a small black star sitting in the lower back corner next to his name: "Joshua."

She watched them as though she were taking notes. The red haired woman and the big gray colt galloped out of the fog and back in, leaving only the soft thundering of hooves against dirt. Cindy frowned and looked down, digging the tip of her boot against the gravel by the track.

Behind her, a large van was parked outside of Lucas' barns and she didn't want to look back to it. The grandstand at Saratoga was empty save the small groups of trainers watching their charges. It would remain empty until the next summer meet. The summer, as far as Cindy was concerned, was over. New York was looming in the south.

"Cindy!" she heard Josie call behind her, and she turned around slightly to watch her cousin approach. "Guess what?"

"What?" Cindy asked, a little less enthused than she had intended.

"Don't be curious or anything," Josie kidded, stopping next to Cindy with a smile.

"Okay," Cindy said, plastering a fake smile to her face. "This better?"

"No," Josie shrugged. "But it will do. Your dad and I are going down to Belmont for their meet before the Breeders' Cup."

"Great," Cindy said without much interest.

"Oh, come on!" Josie asked, halfway kidding. "You don't want us around anymore?"

"I'm tired, Jo," Cindy sighed. "I just can't…"

Josie frowned, jerking her head back a little in response. "Okay, what are you tired about?"

"I'm sorry," Cindy said quickly, shaking her head. "It's nothing about you and dad. I just stayed up all night last night, and I'm kind of at the end of my rope here."

"What happened?" Josie asked immediately, and Cindy shook her head.

"Nothing," she said simply. "Absolutely nothing."

"Cin," Josie sighed quietly, throwing an arm around her cousin's shoulders and squeezing hard.

"I've got to help load up the horses," Cindy said, taking a shaky breath. "I'll see you back at the house. I still have to pack."

"Okay," Josie said, letting go as Cindy pulled away and walked slowly up to the barn, leaving Josie to stare after her.

She had not slept over the night, although she was still wide awake. Most of her night she had laid awake on the sofa, staring at late night television and wishing she could stop thinking long enough to sleep. However, as much as she hadn't wanted to, all she could think about was the mistakes she had made and how on earth she was going to fix them. Then, as if denying herself to feel badly, she explored the other side of her problems, justifying everything by blaming Jack's mistakes, not hers. Now, just as dawn slid over the New York horizon at Saratoga, Cindy was a complete mess.

She saw David talking distractedly into his cell phone as she stood in the doorway, watching grooms prepare the horses that were to be shipped to Belmont. The assistant trainer stood in the middle of the aisle, Sunday Punch standing next to him, being prepared by one of the grooms. David was engrossed in conversation, and he did not acknowledge her before turning and walking down to his office, leaving her alone in the aisle with the horses and the grooms.

Cindy watched him go, trying to keep herself from caring and trying to keep herself from screaming at him. Instead she turned around and pressed her face against Sunday's neck. The gray colt snorted and shifted his weight as Cindy ran her fingers into his mane, clutching at him. As the groom looked up at her curiously from securing the colt's shipping boots, Cindy refused to cry. Instead, she sucked in a breath of air, patted the colt's shoulder, and pushed away, walking up the aisle.

The rig outside was waiting, and the first string of horses was being prepared. The stable row was insane, with grooms walking in and out of the tack room, horses walking up and down the aisle, and others being held and prepared to move. Cindy walked up the row, weaving around horses and slipping past grooms. David had closed the door to his office, and she paused in the aisle, wondering what the hell she was supposed to do. He had been an asshole to her from he moment the morning started. She didn't care about him enough to be mad, but she didn't like knowing she had been used. So far, as she turned away from the door, she didn't want to think about it.

When she realized she was milling undecided in the aisle, she found Wonderment's stall and slipped into it without looking, running her hand down the crest of the chestnut's neck.

"Hey," she heard a voice, and she jumped, looking around to find Jack crouched at the colt's feet, securing a shipping boot to Wonderment's right hind leg. She breathed in and suddenly wanted to crawl into his lap, but as soon as the need occurred to her she nixed it immediately and gave him a small smile.

"Hi," she said, leaning down to look under the colt's belly at Jack. He looked back up at her and didn't smile. Instead, he secured the boot and stood up, resting an arm over the colt's back. Cindy pushed her hair behind her ears and stood awkwardly in front of him. He watched her as though he expected her to say something first, but when she couldn't make her mouth open out of fear that she would sputter some useless comment, he settled for silence.

Wonderment shifted between them casually, flicking an ear back in mild interest to the staring contest occurring over his back. Cindy frowned, uncomfortable under his eyes. She felt all at once that he knew, although she also understood that him knowing was impossible. She ran a hand over Wonderment's smooth chestnut side and looked up at him, taking in the tiny details she wished she couldn't notice.

His t-shirt was already stained in the course of preparing the horses, but that was hardly a blemish on Jack. As she wandered over his tanned arms and up to his neck, she could see his muscles clenching as he watched her eyes run up to his face. She tried to ignore the fact that he was surveying her also, and she tried to keep herself from blushing, keeping her eyes trained on his face. He wasn't shaving, and already a beard was forming over his jaw. She let her eyes rest on that, remembering.

"What the hell is going on?"

Cindy jumped and looked back over at the door. Wonderment jerked his head up and snorted at David, who was leaning against the colt's stall door, giving them an impatient look.

"Fuck off," Jack ground out irritably, before ducking under Wonderment's neck and opening the stall door, shoving David out of the way as he went. Cindy leaned against the wall of the stall, shutting her eyes quickly, and muttered a soft curse.

"What the hell is his problem?" David asked her, taking Wonderment's halter. Cindy opened her eyes and glared at him.

"What do you freaking care?" she spat at him, and he smiled a little at her, making her furious at the snide implications he was making. She stood a little straighter as he stood with Wonderment, the chestnut colt beginning to snort and sidle his hindquarters.

"You know, Cin," he said, laughing. "I suppose I don't really give a damn. What the hell are you besides a…"

Before he could say the rest she had stepped forward and slapped him hard enough to frighten Wonderment, who jerked hard in the stall and broke away from David.

"Don't speak to me," she told him acidly, turning around and grabbing Wonderment's halter, putting a hand on the colt's nose.

"You know, Cin, yesterday was a good time, but," David said with a short laugh, putting a hand to where she had hit him. "Not fucking worth it."

She turned to glare at him over her shoulder, but he was gone. Wonderment pricked his ears at Cindy, and she sighed, not knowing what to do.

The sun was setting at Belmont Park when they were done with the last load, the horses settled in their stalls in New York. Cindy drove back to her apartment in the middle of Brooklyn, parked in the garage and rode up the elevator to the large studio apartment she shared with Laura. When she stepped off the elevator and opened the door to her home, she remembered so far back when she had first laid eyes on it. She remembered back to when she first met Jack, and, as she closed the door behind her and threw the dead bolts into place, she took a shaking breath.

"Hey, Cin," Laura said, wandering out of her room in pajamas, a glass of water in her hand. Cindy nodded to her roommate and walked into the apartment, dumping her things by the sofa before collapsing on it.

"Tired?" Laura asked, walking up to the armchair and sitting down, folding her legs under her. Cindy only nodded silently, hoping she wouldn't start crying out of the mixture of fatigue and sheer depression.

"That's just the very tip of the iceberg," Cindy assured Laura, lying down on the sofa.

"I'm not sure I want to know," Laura said, taking a drink of water.

"I'm not sure I want to get into it," Cindy shook her head.

They sat there for a little while before Laura threw out a random guess. "Was working with Jack that uncomfortable?"

"Pretty much," Cindy nodded, recalling how he hadn't spoken a word to her after that moment in Wonderment's stall. "I'm just glad David didn't decide to help."

"Oh, Cindy," Laura said slowly, looking up at her with astonishment written all over her face.

"Yeah," Cindy nodded. "Yeah."

"I'm speechless," Laura said. Then a few seconds later, she asked: "Are we talking about what I think we're talking about?"

"I slept with David?" Cindy asked, now completely embarrassed.

"Okay, we are," Laura said, sighing as Cindy frowned and rubbed her forehead to rid herself of the forming headache that was beginning to throb.

"I don't even know where to begin," she said.

"I don't think you need to say anything," Laura said. "Does Jack know."

"Not yet," Cindy groaned.

"Yeah, he'll know within the week at the rate track gossip spreads," Laura said realistically.

"But what the hell does he care?" Cindy asked. "He and Sarah are, well, I don't know what they are. But I'm sure they aren't friends."

"Yeah, they aren't friends," Laura nodded. "Ryan told me all there is to know."

"Great," Cindy laughed bitterly. "Don't even start to tell me."

"Okay," Laura nodded. "I wouldn't want to know either."

They were silent for a minute before Laura asked a question.

"Cindy," she said softly. "I'm a little confused. Why David Hernon?"

Cindy frowned at the ceiling, feeling disgusted by her own memories and another swell of anger that justified all her actions. "Because Jack hates him, I guess," she said simply.

"That's it?" Laura asked.

"Well," Cindy shrugged. "I don't like David. And at the time I was pissed off, and David was there…"

"I don't need to know any more," Laura held up a hand. "Don't paint a picture for me."

"Okay," Cindy said, shaking her head as she remembered. "He's such an asshole," she muttered, feeling a few tears creep down her face as she tried to forget.

"Cindy," Laura said, getting up and going over to the sofa, giving her a hug. "Cin, it's going to be okay."

"He's an asshole," Cindy muttered into Laura's shoulder, crying.

"Who is?"

Cindy sighed, frustrated. "Both of them."

"Okay," Laura said, hugging her. "Okay."

In the morning, in the first week of September, the heat broke. At 4:30, Cindy sat up in bed and shivered, looking out at the dark city and the starless sky. At 5:00 she stood at the track, watching as the horses set foot on the track through the haze of darkness and mist. She could barely see Sunday being brought down to her, and when she launched into his saddle, she could barely see where she was going.

In the morning fog, Cindy sat hunched in the saddle, breathing softly in the cool morning air. Sunday hit the ground sharply with his hoof and snorted, a plume of moisture shooting out into the air around him and hanging there, suspended for a few brief seconds before it began to dissipate.

"Warm him up," she heard Lucas tell her. "Nothing more than a jog today. Gallop him a mile when you think he's ready."

With that he slapped the colt's hindquarters and Sunday jigged onto the track, snorting and dancing his way over the tilled dirt. Cindy rose in the saddle automatically, letting the colt extend into a canter up the backstretch.

As they rocked down the track, cutting through the mist and the darkness, she could see other horses hanging in the fog with her, shifting through it and disappearing. Cindy kept on course with Sunday, tugging him down to the middle of the track and letting him go. The colt extended again with an excited breath, leaping into a gallop while Cindy stood in the saddle, hardly feeling the colt's legs hit the ground. She pressed her fists into the colt's mane, looking out on the track before her, and felt wonderful for a moment when the fog cleared and Sunday burst around the turn for home.

Cindy didn't urge him, but let him go his way, feeling the muscles working and moving under her. On the outside, she could see the rail and the people milling by it, watching her fly by. There were other horses and other riders, breezing, walking, cooling out, working, and jogging. She could see Josie in her blue and white windbreaker, Angelica straining at the reins underneath her. Laura she passed by with a nod, watching her roommate struggle with an unknown two-year-old in training. In front of her, she saw Sarah McCormick riding a Pletcher filly, a gorgeous little dark bay. Sunday flew by them all without a glance.

The day went quickly, and Cindy felt better about herself by the end of works. Cindy followed Hansea up to the barns after her last work with a smile on her face. The dark bay filly had been a dream, and when that happened Cindy liked to treasure the moment.

Races had not begun at Belmont quite yet, so Cindy moved on to her car and popped the trunk, putting her equipment inside. When she looked up, she caught sight of something she didn't think she'd see yet, and all of a sudden she could feel the slow creeping feeling slide down her spine. She didn't like the feeling.

Further down the backside, a few stables over, Sarah McCormick was getting into a car. Cindy stood still next to her open trunk, watching with a rising feeling of dread. It was a black Jaguar.

In New York that day, a starless night had turned into an overcast day, and later in the afternoon rain started to pour onto the city in sheets. Cindy drove silently through the grid system of streets in Brooklyn, the windshield wipers on the Audi going full speed as she stopped at a traffic light and stared straight ahead.

Cindy tapped her fingers against the steering wheel, trying to think of something else. She had stayed late at the track, even though she didn't have to. She stayed with Josie and her father, helped them with grocery shopping for their rented palace of a room in the Hyatt, and sat around with them, watching the rainfall. Now she drove slowly down the streets, pulling into her parking garage and turning off her car.

She didn't have time to open the car door before her cell phone rang. She picked it up hastily and asked the universal question: "Hello?"

"Cin, this is Josie."

"Hey," Cindy said. "What's up? Did I forget something at the hotel? I can just run by later…"

"No, no," Josie cut her off. "I just wanted to tell you some news."

"Oh," Cindy said. "Okay. Shoot."

"Ashleigh's coming up to Belmont with Adriatic and Roma," Josie said quickly. "I thought you'd like to know."

Cindy frowned silently, sighing into the phone.

"Cindy?" Josie asked.

"Yeah," Cindy replied. "Thanks for telling me."

"I feel bad now, Cindy," Josie said. "I thought that…"

"No, thanks," Cindy repeated, shaking her head a little. "Thanks."

"Okay," Josie said.

"When is she going to be up here?" Cindy asked.

"Plans aren't concrete yet. Your dad and she are on the phone looking at flight plans."

"Great," Cindy nodded, running a hand through her hair with a sigh. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Jo."

She said her goodbye and hung up, turning off her phone. For a moment, she stared out her windshield, trying not to think about it. Then she made a decision. She turned on her car and backed up, then rolled forward into the rain.

She drove for nearly an hour through the rain, finally finding the nerve to cross the bridge into Manhattan. Her head was a muddled mess, and she didn't really know why she was doing this when she drove off the bridge and into Manhattan.

The skies opened up when she hit his street, and when she parked her car in front of the beautiful old apartment building she had no clue how she was going to do this. She had no plan of attack. As she sat in her car and watched the rain pour down, she couldn't formulate a plan. She only wanted to talk to Jack, and forget everything else. However, that seemed like it was too easy. Months before, when they were still best friends, she could have walked into his apartment at any time and talked to him about anything. Now she was left with a sickening feeling of desperation, and knowing that she had been the one to let it get to this point only drove her to make sure she could mend it.

Turning off the engine, Cindy jumped out of the car and made a run for it, sprinting across the street, kicking up water as she ran. When she made it into his apartment building, she was soaked and shivering. Her jeans were heavy and wet, and her shoes were squeaking as she walked over to the elevators. She was sure one of the tenants frowned at her as she dripped water across the carpeting. Cindy brushed it off easily, her mind on more important things.

There was one thing she wanted to tell Jack, and she mulled over it in the elevator as it rose the short distance to his floor. She wanted to tell him so much, and she knew what she wanted to say would be surrounded by her nervous babble, but she wouldn't bear standing by and keeping silent. She had so much to apologize for.

When the elevator opened, Cindy strode down the hallway and stopped in front of his door, feeling her heart beating loudly. When she felt that she had conquered her heart, she lifted her hand hesitantly and knocked, then waited for the door to open as she shivered in the cool air.

He opened the door and looked surprised that she was standing there, soaked to the bone with her arms wrapped around herself to stay a little less cold. She was surprised that he seemingly hadn't bothered to see who it was.

"Jack," she smiled a little as she said the name, trying to appear like her old self to him. He recovered quickly and leaned a hand against the doorjamb, looking at her questioningly.

"Cin? You're soaked. What's wrong?"

"I just," she started, stopping herself before she could launch into a lengthy tangent. Before she could edit her opening statement and plunge forward again, she heard the rattling of pots over a stovetop and she ground to a halt.

"Jack?" Sarah's voice called from the kitchen. "How long are we letting this simmer? I think it's had enough."

Cindy stood in the hallway, and she looked down at her soaked shoes.

"I…" she started, stopping herself to force a brilliant smile on her face. "It's not important."

"Cindy," he said, looking like he completely didn't believe her. "That's not true. What's up?"

"You're busy," Cindy said, taking a step back as she watched him shift in the doorway, a flicker of something crossing over his face that made her glance away. "And, you know, it's just not important. I can talk to you about it later, in fact. So," she paused, letting out the breath she was holding. "Have a great night."

She turned and walked down the hallway, trying not to go too fast or too slow. She walked the way a normal person would, like she did every day, as though she didn't feel like she had to throw up. The elevator was sitting there, and it opened immediately when she punched the down button. When she walked into it, she heard his door shut, and she closed her eyes.


	15. Chapter 15

15.

The infield was filled with low-lying fog, covering up the trees and the ponds. Cindy galloped by on Sunday Punch, the dappled gray colt snorting as the sun turned the white mist a brilliant gold. Truthfully, Cindy didn't notice much of the beauty of the track. The glittering fog in the infield shifted and began to dissipate steadily. Sunday galloped up the track, warming up for his breeze. Cindy only felt the beats of the colt's hooves against the dirt and nothing else. Over the past two weeks all she could think about was business.

Sunday slowed when she asked, approaching the training gate for their four furlong breeze. Cindy pulled down her goggles and allowed the assistant gate starter to load the colt. They joined the two other colts already there, and before Cindy could even recall which horses were which the gates slammed open.

The gray colt broke sharply and darted to the front, powering up the middle of the track. Cindy tightened the inside rein and sent him careening to the rail, his dark gray body plowing past the other two horses. She smiled slightly, knowing she had accomplished the first thing Lucas had asked of her. In preparing for the Vosburgh Stakes, Sunday was to break sharp and head to the front. Now all she had to do was sustain speed to the end.

The gray colt sped down the track, his legs hitting the ground hard and kicking dirt up on the horses behind him. Cindy urged him, pumping her hands into the colt's mane when he hesitated halfway around the turn. At Cindy's encouragement, Sunday's ears flew back and he surged, racing out to the finish.

As they blew by the last marker, Cindy stood in the stirrups and let him slow down on his own, pulling him up steadily until they hit the gap. There, she jumped off of his back and handed him over to his groom immediately, pausing just long enough to hear the time from Lucas and a short comment of praise.

Then she was off again on another horse, and another, and another until her day was through with Wonderment, the big chestnut colt coming back from his jog with an air of confidence. The chestnut was gaining strength and reputation since he had come to Belmont. After leaving Saratoga he had put in two beautiful works, turning heads and making a name for himself as a contender for the Futurity.

"He looks good," Lucas said as Cindy jumped off of the colt by the side of the gap, holding him near the rail for Lucas to check his legs, running his hands up and down the colt's slender forelegs.

"Felt fine," Cindy commented sharply, letting the groom take the colt back up to the barn. She stood for a moment, staring out at the track without really looking at it. The mist was gone, and the sun was up, although it wasn't warm. The mornings were cool now, and she was wearing a lined windbreaker over a long sleeved shirt and flak jacket. It was just cool enough to shiver when she breezed the horses.

"Are you alright, Cin?" Lucas asked her, watching her with some concern.

She broke out of her trance and nodded curtly. "Yeah, I'm fine. Who's next?"

"You're done for the day," he told her, and she shrugged.

"Great. I'll pack up my stuff and see you tomorrow."

"Cin," he said, chuckling softly and walking up to her before she could hike back to the barns.

"What?" she asked. "The horses are fine, right?"

"Sure, the horses were great. You did a fantastic job today."

"Okay," Cindy said. "Then I'm out of here. No races today, so I've got errands to get done."

"Wait," Lucas said, getting her attention now. "Cindy, is everything alright with you? You've been so focused lately on getting out here and working. I appreciate the effort, and it's not like you weren't a phenomenal rider to have on staff before, but this is a little strange."

"Are you saying I'm too focused?" Cindy laughed, raising an eyebrow.

"And a little too curt and detached," Lucas said. "For the past two weeks now you've been pretty eager to get out there, get it done, and go."

"Well, I've got a lot to get done," Cindy defended herself. "Besides, I thought you'd like someone a little more professional with the horses and less…"

"Cindy," he cut her off. "You were perfectly fine before."

"I think I'm missing something," Cindy said, frowning.

"Well," Lucas said, starting up to the barns. Cindy followed him, listening. "I think I'll like your riding more when you find what you're missing."

At that, Cindy stopped walking and watched Lucas go back up to the barns. She sighed, and shook her head, walking after him. When she walked into the dim light of the closed in stable, she didn't follow Lucas into his office to ask him what the hell he meant by that. She didn't have to understand it, and Lucas wasn't going to clarify himself. She already knew what she was missing.

Cindy stopped outside of Silvan's stall, looking in on the nearly white colt. Silvan was busy ripping at his hay net, munching with satisfaction. Every once and a while he would bump a hoof against his stall door, and as Cindy watched him she felt a little less thrown. Even though the big colt didn't look anything like Joy, she could tell that they had been raised by the same dam. They shared little idiosyncrasies that Cindy could still sense years after Joy. Now, as she watched Silvan closer than she had before, she could see a lot of Joy in his dark brown eyes as they watched her easily, as if he knew everything about her past and could look into her future. They were unwavering and solid, and Cindy found herself feeling better just looking at him.

That vanished when she saw Jack walk into the stable. One look from him and she wished she had been smart and left the track right after she had jumped off of Wonderment. She had managed to avoid speaking to him for days on end, not picking up the phone when he called and taking care to be far from him at the track. She couldn't really pinpoint why she was acting this way, but she was sure most of it was because she didn't know what to say to him anymore. Now, as she found herself caught up in his eyes that seemed darker in the dim light, her heart had dropped to her stomach. She wasn't ready to talk. She didn't know what to say.

As it turned out, Jack seemed to have plenty to say to make up for it.

"We have to talk," he said, his voice hushed and low as he walked up to her. Cindy found herself gripping onto Silvan's stall, and shook her head.

"I don't have anything to say," she said, trying not to sound dismissive.

He laughed harshly at that, and shook his head. "Oh, no. You've got something to say."

Before she could react, three exercise riders walked into the stable and paused when they saw Cindy and Jack. Cindy bristled as she felt the intensity rolling off Jack in waves, and she turned her head away, looking in Silvan's stall like they were discussing the horse.

"Look at me, Cin," he said, putting his hand on Silvan's stall. Cindy looked at the veins running up the back of his hand before she slowly met his gaze, feeling small and powerless.

When she lifted her eyes up to his, she was surprised when he hesitated. In that small moment, she wrapped her hand around his wrist and stepped closer to him. She could nearly feel his pulse pounding under her fingertips, and realized then how angry he was.

"Jack, let's talk somewhere else," she pleaded with him, looking up at him. "I want to talk, but it can't be here. Okay?"

He considered her for a moment, with her hand still holding onto his wrist before he let go of the stall. Her hand slipped off of him as he turned around and simply walked away. Cindy sighed and followed him, walking out into the late morning light.

"Jack," she tried, getting frustrated that he wasn't talking.

"Just get in the car, Cin," he told her, opening up the door to the Jaguar. She hung back for a second, frowning at his tone and wishing she had some other choice. He looked at her impatiently from the driver's side of the Jaguar. "Cin?"

"Fine," she said throwing her arms up, walking across the gravel and past him, pulling open the passenger's door and falling into the seat. She slammed the door, and watched him climb inside next to her. She glanced at him and sat quietly, milling in the sound of the roaring engine.

They didn't say a word as they crossed through Brooklyn. Cindy stared out the window, listening to her heart pound in her chest. When they entered Manhattan, Cindy stared up at the huge buildings of the Wall Street District, watching them slip by the window as they passed.

When Jack parked at his apartment, Cindy slowly took off her seat belt and swallowed. She tried to look up at him, and when she finally managed to force his name out of her lips, he seemed to jump and grip the handle of the driver's side door. Opening the door, Jack climbed out as if he hadn't heard her. Cindy sighed and pushed her door open, jumping out of the car.

"Jack!" she called, listening to her voice echo through the small parking garage. He just shook his head and kept walking, so Cindy followed him, scowling. She had had just about enough of his silence, and as she followed him into the lobby of the apartment building and into the opening elevator, she turned to him for an explanation.

"You feel like talking?" Cindy asked, crossing her arms unconsciously.

"No," Jack said in a low voice she barely recognized. She felt her scowl deepen and she sighed, reaching back and pulling her messy hair out of its ponytail. When she ripped the hair tie out, she smiled harshly. She quickly redid the ponytail as the elevator slowed and stopped. If she was going to prepare for a fight, she might as well get into battle stance.

The doors opened and Jack practically stalked out into the hallway. Cindy followed along, mildly wondering how much he paid for such a place. It blew what she had out of the water, but then again she almost expected him to live just off Central Park with the sort of money his parents had. When he opened the door, Cindy didn't waste time and shoved into the apartment before he could. She heard him give a short laugh, but she didn't care as she stopped in the middle of the living room and turned to look at him expectantly.

He closed the door and tossed his keys on the coffee table, walking by her.

"Jack, what the hell is your problem?" Cindy asked him as he disappeared into the kitchen. "Jack?"

"Well, Cindy," he said, his voice muffled through the wall as she rolled her eyes. "I figure you already know my problem."

"Humor me," she stated as he reappeared with a beer bottle in his hand. The look on his face made her feel frigid.

"Cin," he said slowly, and she watched him like a deer caught in headlights while he walked up to her. "This might just possibly have something to do with you fucking Hernon, but then again that could be a lie also."

"Jack," Cindy whispered, wincing as she took a step back.

"So," he said, putting the bottle down on the table and looking at her with such intensity she couldn't stand to meet his eyes. "It's true, then?"

Cindy took a big breath and forced herself to look up at Jack. Once she was looking into his dark blue eyes she found she herself hesitating. She wanted to lie to him, and she wanted him to pull her up to him and forget about everything. Although she knew she had no options. Cindy took in a shaking breath and nodded her head almost imperceptibly.

"Jesus Christ," Jack laughed, turning around and ripping his hands through his hair. Cindy watched him walk over to a chair and fall into it, leaning his head back to look up at the ceiling.

"I," Cindy started, finding herself standing in the middle of his living room and feeling like a vulnerable target.

"Good," he said, laughing bitterly. "Are you going to explain this? Because I just can't wait."

Cindy frowned at him and shook her head. "No, I'm not going to explain this to you."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because you have no right, Jack," she told him. "I shouldn't have to explain anything to you."

"I have no right?" Jack asked, getting up all of a sudden and striding up to her, making Cindy take a few steps back in surprise when he stopped right in front of her and grabbed her wrist, stopping her motion backward. "How is it that I have no right? One night we're making out on the couch and the next day you're fucking David Hernon, so please tell me when my rights flew out the window."

"Could you stop saying that?" Cindy asked softly.

"What?" Jack asked. "Fucking David Hernon?"

Cindy winced and looked away, Jack lifted his hand and turned her face back to look at him.

"Look at me, Cin," he said. "Not the wall."

"God, Jack," Cindy shook him off, pushing past him and turning around to look at him when she had put enough space between them to feel comfortable again. "What do you think? That I fell head over heels in love with David between the time I was with you and the next morning? I'm sorry that I left that hotel room. I regret it more than anything, okay? I don't know what I was even thinking when I left that night. I was just afraid that you…"

"What?" he asked, breaking in. "That I wouldn't want you in the morning?"

Cindy looked at him sharply, forcing herself to stay still when he walked back up to her.

"So, what?" he asked her, closing in. "You got scared and went running to the closest warm body?"

"Screw you," Cindy growled. "You were quite content to leave it all behind, if I remember correctly. Sarah McCormick? I'm not the only one who went running, Jack."

"Leave her out of this," he told her.

"Why?" Cindy asked. "What do you think made me go to David? You and Sarah blindsiding me or because I happened to really want David? What do you think, Jack?"

"You're a bitch," he told her, straight to her face.

"You're a fucking bastard," Cindy fired back.

"Fucking hell, Cindy," he said, unconscious to both their raised voices. "I would call you a whore if I didn't fucking know you well enough."

"Thanks, Jack," Cindy smiled at him sweetly, her voice dripping sarcasm. "Would you also like to know that it was the best sex I ever had?"

"Would you shut the fuck up?" Jack told her, pinning her down with dark blue eyes that seemed suddenly brighter. Cindy only leveled her eyes up at him and closed the gap between them, putting her hands on his chest and grabbing the material of his shirt. She was tired of yelling about something she couldn't take back.

"Jack, I do not have words for how I feel about you," she said in a rushed, soft voice that seemed strained to her ears. "I do not have words, and I wanted to tell you that a long time ago but I was scared. I was so fucking scared. So I'm sorry that I didn't handle this perfectly, and I'm sorry that I drove you away, and I'm sorry about David. I can't say it enough, because if you don't know that I wanted you to be the one that night then I shouldn't be here."

He stared at her quietly, not saying anything as she let the material of his shirt slip through her fingers. She took a step back, surrounded by the overwhelming silence that had crashed down in the room. When he still said nothing she nodded slightly and turned to find her things. She picked up her purse off the coffee table and swung it over her shoulder, not daring to meet Jack's eyes.

"I'll just find a cab," she told him as she started toward the door. She never made it there. As she stepped around him, she suddenly felt a hard pull on her wrist. He jerked her back to him, her purse falling off her shoulder and landing on the floor. Cindy made a soft, surprised sound as he hauled her back to him, tucking her close with an arm that wrapped around her back. He let go of her wrist, pushing his free hand into her hair, loosening the ponytail and making long strands of blond hair fall across her face. Cindy pressed her forehead into his chest and hugged him back, glad that the worst had been dealt with.

"I love you," he said into her hair, and already Cindy could feel tears slipping down her cheeks.

"I love you, too," she said, sniffling and holding on to him fiercely, as though she had nothing else to grasp.

"And we can't do this anymore," he told her. She sighed, trying not to cry more and finding it hard to hold the sobs back.

"Why not?" Cindy asked, snaking her arms up around his neck and lifting her head, her tear stained brown eyes soaked and bloodshot.

He looked at her and gave her a smile that broke her. She found herself truly crying as he pressed her harder to him. Trying to stall the sobbing, Cindy held her breath and pushed just far enough to reach up and kiss him lightly on the mouth. She wasn't going to allow him to tell her that he couldn't be with her. He was with her, for Christ's sake. He always would be, as far as she was concerned.

For a moment she was thrilled that he responded, kissing her back, his mouth sliding over hers. But the spike of determination dimmed when she realized the kiss felt more like a goodbye. She pulled away softly, looking up at him and putting a hand to her mouth.

"Come here, Cin," he said, suddenly turning and walking down the hallway, bringing her with him. She followed him blindly, even closing her eyes as he led her by the hand. He steered her down the hallway and she opened her eyes as he led her into his room, sitting her on the bed.

Cindy sank onto it, automatically curling up on the dark comforter. The bed shifted when he crawled up behind her, settling and arm over her waist and tugging her until she rolled over to face him. She looked at him with bleary eyes, hardly questioning what was going on.

"Cindy," he said. "You're not a pretty crier."

"Shut up," Cindy muttered halfheartedly, reaching out to push him in the chest. How strange it seemed that they could keep up the old game when it had seemingly come crashing down not moments before.

"Are we alright?" Cindy asked tentatively after a steady silence, looking at Jack waveringly.

"You want the truth?" he returned, and she simply nodded.

"We're not going to be the same," he said, and when she looked down he quickly tipped her chin back up, making her look at him. "No, Cin. Eye contact is good. Get that through your head."

"What's going to happen then?" Cindy asked him. "Because I can't continue like this."

"You're still my best friend, Cin," he said. "Nothing is different there."

"But it is different," she shook her head. "Everything is different. We jumped over the line," she said, illustrating for him with creative hand gestures. "And we can't keep doing that."

"Jumping over a line?" he asked, stilling her right index finger from jumping over the outstretched left and pressing them to the bed.

"Yeah," Cindy said, pulling her hands out from under his, uncomfortable at his touch. "The line."

"Well, from here on out let's imagine the line as a big, concrete wall," he said with a smile.

"With steel reinforcements?" Cindy asked, and he nodded.

"Can't have a concrete wall without them, Cin," he informed her.

"I don't think that will work," she said, remembering with a rush their night in Saratoga.

"You want me to place an armed guard there or something?" he asked, and she shook her head.

"Jack," she said. "Let's be serious for a second."

"Sure," he said, his smile disappearing slowly.

"I slept with David," she said, and at the mention of the name, he sighed and rolled over on his back. "And you're not over that, and I'm not over the fact that I did that to make you mad."

He looked up at her, and just the look on his face made her wish she could stop thinking about it.

"Well, you did succeed at pissing me off," he said. "I'm pissed."

"Still?" Cindy asked, hoping he had calmed down a little about it.

"Yeah, still," he told her. "I just don't understand it."

Cindy sighed and relented. "I overheard Sarah saying that you had asked her out," Cindy admitted. "It was right after my last race, and I was rushing so I could find you afterward. God, I wanted to talk about so much with you. But, I overheard her and it killed me, Jack. I just ran into David afterward and I was so mad and upset that…"

"Okay," he said, holding up his hands. "Enough. I don't want to know any thing else."

Cindy sighed. "Well, that's what happened."

"And I get all that," he said. "I really had no right to run either."

"So now you admit to running," Cindy rolled her eyes, sniffing at the remainder of tears.

"Not so much," he replied stubbornly.

"What about Sarah?" Cindy asked softly. "Where does she stand in all of this?"

He was quiet for a moment, and Cindy didn't have to hear him speak to know his answer.

"I," he started, not able to find words.

"It's okay," Cindy shook her head. "I had a feeling anyway."

He looked up at her, and pulled her closer to him so they were at eye level. "Cindy, we're two very stupid people."

"How about unlucky?" Cindy offered. "Complicated, confused, masochistic?"

"I'll stick with stupid," he said.

"Fine with me," Cindy shrugged, curling up with him as the fatigue of morning works and arguing hit her like a sledgehammer. She closed her eyes, having no wish to open them again. This was where she wanted to be, no matter if she belonged there or not. In the following silence, she dropped off into sleep and she did not dream.


	16. Chapter 16

16.

Hours later it began to rain, and Cindy woke to the loud crack of thunder shaking the windowpanes. Dimly she realized there was a comforter on top of her, and her riding boots had been pulled off her feet. Part of her smiled a little then, stretching out in Jack's bed as she listened to the rain slap against the windows. The other part of her was overwhelmed with sadness, and that was the side of her that made her sit up and open her eyes.

It was dark in the room, but the bedside clock read only three o'clock. She was alone and groggy from sleep, but she couldn't allow herself to fall back into the bed. Slowly, she untangled her legs from the comforter and crawled out of bed, turning to straighten up the sheets and return everything back to normal. Calmly, she combed her fingers through her hair and put it back into a ponytail before picking up her shoes and wandering out of Jack's room.

With her shoes in one hand, she walked into the kitchen and found Jack leaning against the countertop, immersed in a conversation with his cell phone.

"Hey," he smiled at her, nodding to the kitchen table. Cindy nodded and sat down, starting to tug her boots back on.

She listened quietly to his conversation while she finished up with the boots and started to look around curiously. Cindy didn't know how many times she had been in Jack's apartment, but the bachelor's life always fascinated her. It was somehow messy and clean all at the same time, and Cindy supposed that the longer Jack lived without a feminine presence somewhere the place would continue to fall more into the messy category.

Tired of waiting for the phone call to end, Cindy got up and wandered into the living room, looking at the sparse collection of photographs that sat on an end table. There were three frames. One was of Jack, his older sister, and younger brother. The other was the infamous photograph of Bosta's first race, when the dark bay filly had attempted to savage her closest rival. Cindy smiled at that, and ran a finger down the curve of the filly's neck.

When she moved on her eyes caught on the third frame, partially hidden behind a lamp. She picked it up and furrowed her eyebrows at it, not recognizing the woman smiling back at her.

"Hey," she heard Jack behind her. She jumped, turning around.

"You're finished?" she asked, still holding the frame in her hands. "What's the news?"

"We're getting a few yearlings in next week," he said. "From the September sales at Keeneland."

"I thought we already got in a few from the July sales," Cindy said, absently turning and putting the photograph back on the table.

"Well, apparently there were a few more Lucas liked," Jack said. "We're getting five more shipped up."

Cindy shrugged and changed the subject. "I need my car. Could you drive me back to the track?"  
"Sure," Jack said, picking up his keys off the coffee table as Cindy grabbed her purse off the floor.

They didn't talk so much on the way through Manhattan, but once they hit a traffic jam on the other side of the Brooklyn Bridge Cindy couldn't let the silence continue.

"When did you wake up?" she asked, tearing her gaze from the window.

"I never went to sleep," Jack said, sighing at the traffic jam as the Jaguar crawled forward and stopped again. Jack slid it into neutral and let the car rumble in place as the traffic came to a stand still.

"Oh," Cindy frowned. "I'm sorry I fell asleep. I guess the past couple of weeks have been more exhausting than I thought."

"It's okay," he said.

"I fixed up your bed," she told him.

"Thanks, but it's okay," he repeated, looking over at her.

Cindy bit her lip, and jumped when her cell phone rang in her purse, diving to dig it out from the depths of her belongings as Jack watched her with amusement. She grabbed the small annoyance and answered it quickly.

"Cindy, honey," her father answered. "I was wondering when you were going to answer your phone."

"I was taking a nap," Cindy explained. "What's up?"

"Well, your car is here at the track and you're not," her father said. "Josie and I have been looking all over for you."

"I went to lunch," Cindy said, wincing when she saw Jack smile and shift the car into first again to creep forward before shifting back into neutral. "We're on our way back, but there's this traffic jam and we've been sitting in Brooklyn for a while."

"Well, come on over by our stabling area when you get back," her father told her. "Paul just brought up the first Whitebrook string, and I knew you were curious about looking at them."

"Paul?" Cindy asked, hardly remembering anyone named Paul that was working for Whitebrook.

"Our new assistant trainer," Ian clarified. "He's fairly new still, but I've been impressed with him so far."

"Oh," Cindy said simply. "When does Ashleigh get in?"

"She'll fly up next week with Adriatic and Roma," Ian told her. "But, I'll talk to you when you get back to the track."

"Okay," Cindy said, saying goodbye and hanging up.

"Ashleigh's coming up?" Jack asked.

"Yeah," Cindy said, suddenly realizing that she hadn't really talked to him about anything concerning her family in a long time. "Adriatic and Wonder of Roma are going to do their last preps at Belmont before the Breeders' Cup."

Jack nodded quietly and silence descended again, leaving Cindy searching for something to talk about. Then she remembered the photograph she didn't recognize, and before she could convince herself not to bring it up she had already asked him who the woman in the picture was.

He gave her a surprised look, and Cindy asked him again to make sure he knew what she was talking about.

"Yeah, that's Kate Galleano," Jack said, and Cindy frowned.

"Who's Kate Galleano?"

"Does it matter?" he asked in return.

"I guess not," Cindy shrugged. "I'm just curious."

"She's an artist in San Francisco," he said.

"You know her?"

"Obviously."

"Well, you don't have to be a dick about it," Cindy huffed.

"I'm not being anything about it," Jack defended.

"Right," Cindy scoffed.

There was a small quiet moment, and Cindy stared out the window while she waited to see what would happen. Either he would tell her or he wouldn't, and she honestly didn't care. The traffic was starting to get on her nerves.

"She was an old girlfriend from high school," he finally relented. Cindy turned silently to look at him, not saying anything. That didn't really surprise her so much, so she waited for the background story.

"We were in the same class," he explained as she made herself comfortable in the passenger's seat, realizing that the traffic jam was at a stand still and people had started to get out of their cars to see what was going on.

"We broke up after graduation, since she was headed to Pratt and I was staying in California for college and the tracks in LA. I figured I'd never see her again, and we barely kept in touch for two years. Then, just after I met Audrey at Hollywood Park…"

"You met Audrey at Hollywood Park?" Cindy interrupted, getting a look from Jack.

"Yeah, I met Audrey at Hollywood Park. Her parents had a few horses with Marcus Smith, and I worked for Marcus Smith, so it was bound to happen."

Cindy shrugged and nodded, waiting for the rest of the story.

"Anyway, just after I met Audrey at Hollywood Park, Kate shows up at my apartment completely unexpected."

Cindy smiled a little, imagining the situation.

"She was moving back to the west coast, broke, unemployed, out of school, and pregnant," he went on, but Cindy had already raised up her hands and halted the story.

"She was what?"

"Pregnant?" he asked.

"Wow," Cindy frowned. "How did you take that?"

"Well, she wanted help for an abortion and she needed a place to stay while she got on her feet. Her parents were living in Europe at the time, and I was the only other person she knew for sure was still in LA, so I helped her out."

"She got an abortion?" Cindy asked curiously.

"No," Jack shook his head. "She went to the clinic, but in the end she just couldn't do it."

"So she stayed with you," Cindy said, giving Jack an incredulous look. She could hardly imagine Jack living with a pregnant woman.

"For a few months," he said. "She turned my apartment into a studio, but she cooked great food so it was a nice trade."

"You're kidding," Cindy stated.

"Nope," Jack shook his head.

"How did Audrey take that?" Cindy asked.

"I didn't know Audrey well enough then to care what she thought," Jack told her, and Cindy laughed at that, shaking her head. "She was just the daughter of my owners back then."

"What about the baby?" Cindy asked, suddenly having a flurry of questions to ask him.

"She had a son," Jack said. "Named him Christopher."

"Was she still living with you then?"

"No," he shook his head. "She had moved out at that point."

"Okay," Cindy said, still looking and feeling surprised. "Did you ever know who the father was?"

"I didn't know him when she told me," Jack shrugged then, putting the Jaguar in first when the cars started to move forward slowly. "I met him a few years back at an auction just before I moved to New York."

"You met him?" Cindy asked, surprised.

"Completely by accident," Jack frowned, shifting into second when the traffic started to pick up.

"Who was he?" Cindy pushed. "He must have been New York based."

"Cin, it turned out to be Hernon," he told her, the Jaguar roaring suddenly as he shifted into third and merged onto another road, heading up to Belmont Park.

Cindy sat quietly, staring at Jack and trying to not believe it when she knew she had already taken it as the complete truth.

"Is this a joke?" she asked instead, already feeling herself getting upset and not really piecing together her reasons for it.

"No," Jack shook his head. "You always wanted to know why Hernon and I have never gotten along, and I just told you why."

"That's bullshit," Cindy told him. "Does he even know he has a son?"

"No," Jack shook his head. "He knew that Kate was pregnant, but that was the extent of it."

"Are you trying to tell me he didn't care?" Cindy asked.

"How the hell should I know if he cared or not?" Jack asked.

"How do you know it was even David?" Cindy asked. "It's pretty easy to just pick a name out of a hat."

"Kate loved horses, Cin," Jack said through clenched teeth. "She photographed them all over the place, and one summer she went to Saratoga to check out the racecourse. I don't know how she met Hernon, but I do know that he didn't believe her about the pregnancy and let me just say that I'm not surprised after all the shit that I've heard about him since, not to mention you."

"Don't drag me into this," Cindy argued. "I'm neither stupid nor pregnant, okay?"

He gave her a look and she sighed, turning away.

"I'm sorry," she said after a minute. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm upset about this. David's a jackass, and everything you're saying makes sense."

"It's alright," he said, pulling into the backside of Belmont and rolling through the gates.

Cindy watched the nearly empty track flash by between the stables. The backside was rather quiet in the afternoon, and when Jack parked next to her abandoned Audi she hung back.

"Thanks for the ride," she said hesitantly.

"No problem," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow."

She still didn't get out of the car. Instead they looked at each other, staring each other down.

"Thank you for telling me about Kate," she finally said. He shrugged.

"It had to be said at some point. It's just history."

Cindy smiled, and reached up to rub the palm of her hand down the beard that he had decided to keep around.

"I like the beard, you know," she told him. She brought her hand back and opened the door, turning back to tell him good bye before she slammed it closed. Backing away from the car, she saw him smile at her through the windshield and she waved him off, pulling out her keys and going to her Audi to drive down to her father's stable.

When she heard the Jaguar honk at her as it drove by, Cindy kicked up gravel at its tires playfully and watched as the car disappeared through the gate and was gone. Sighing, Cindy stood quietly and listened to the backside before she jangled the keys in her hand and got into the Audi.

"Where are these horses?" Cindy asked as she walked into her father's office. Ian looked up and laughed.

"You finally got back," he said. "Took you long enough."

"You can't rush New York traffic," Cindy smiled, following him down the stable aisle, looking in on a few horses as she went. "We tried to get back sooner."

"Who is this 'we' that you keep referring to?" her father asked, stopping in front of a stall and looking back at her. Cindy came to a frozen halt in front of a stall and smiled a little.

"One of Lucas' assistants," she shrugged, feeling her stomach grumble in a reminder that she hadn't had anything to eat since early that morning. "We were hungry."

Her stomach rumbled again and Ian laughed, shaking his head. "Your stomach must be a bottomless pit."

"I had a salad," Cindy shrugged.

"I'll get you and Josie some real food after we leave the track," her father promised, and Cindy grinned, silently thankful.

"Are these the horses?" she asked, looking into the closest stall, a big dark bay filly looking back at her.

"That's Wicked Decision," Ian nodded, giving the big bay a pat on the nose as the filly ambled up to the stall door to check things out. "One of our turf runners. She's got an excellent pedigree for turf; her sire is El Prado and she's got Rahy on her dam's side."

"Rahy?" Cindy asked. "Is this Maverick's baby?"

"Yeah," Ian nodded. "I thought you would remember Mav."

"Sure," Cindy nodded, looking in on Maverick Decision's very large daughter. Whitebrook had purchased Maverick Decision as a yearling, and Cindy had a hand in the mare's early training. Maverick had turned into a beautiful runner, and one of Whitebrook's first successful turf horses. Now it looked like she was breeding a whole fleet of turf runners for Whitebrook.

"We're looking at putting her in the Filly and Mare Turf," her father said, stroking his hand down Wicked Decision's dark neck, patting her affectionately. "But it will depend on how she comes out of her prep here."

"I'd love to ride her," Cindy found herself saying. "If Josie isn't claiming her, that is."

"I'm sure Josie would give you the mount on her," Ian said. "Wicked isn't so picky about who I put on her, but she's got a few tricky quirks that you'll pick up on pretty quickly."

"Can't wait," Cindy said, giving the filly a last pat on the nose before moving on down the aisle to a pair of chestnuts.

"Kingfisher," her father pointed to a freakishly large colt with a cockeyed blaze running over his face and down over his left nostril. "And Vinaceous," he said, pointing to a smaller chestnut filly with no markings on her head.

"They're siblings," Ian said, watching Cindy get a good look at the two chestnuts. Kingfisher had to be seventeen hands tall easily, and his darker, smaller sister had a look to her that instantly drew Cindy's attention. Ian listed off their pedigrees and ages, with Cindy listening raptly. Kingfisher was a three-year-old by Mr. Wonderful, and Vinaceous was a two-year-old by Wonder's Pride. What Cindy really liked about them was that both were out of Precocious, Fleet Goddess' first foal.

"Kingfisher spent most of this year out of training with foot problems," Ian sighed. "It seems that bad luck runs in the blood with him, but we got him going again this summer at Churchill."

"Are you pointing them both to the Breeders' Cup?" Cindy asked, and her father shook his head.

"No," Ian said. "Kingfisher doesn't have the training in to seriously consider it, and Vinaceous is unraced. We're entering her in a maiden next week."

"Great," Cindy nodded, genuinely excited to see the filly in action, as well as Kingfisher. When they moved on to the next pair of horses, Cindy was almost giddy.

She looked in on a beautiful bay filly and a dark gray colt. Both were working hungrily on their hay nets, tearing mouthfuls of the stuff off and chewing thoughtfully.

"The gray is Zero Hour," Ian told her. "You know his parents pretty well. Zero's Flight and Beautiful Music."

Cindy nodded, looking in at Glory's grandson.

"He's three, and just coming into his own so the Breeders' Cup isn't in his future," Ian said, looking over at the bay stabled next to him. "But this little lady," he said, nodding to the filly, "is running in the Gazelle tomorrow and very much a consideration for the Distaff. This is Eloquent, Fleet Goddess' three-year-old."

Cindy walked up to the bay filly and ran her hand over her neck, liking the look of her.

"You guys have so many potential stars just in this stable that I can't imagine what you have back at the farm," Cindy murmured, stroking down Eloquent's neck as the filly turned her dark brown eyes to study Cindy.

"Well, the two big ones are on their way up soon," Ian said. "What you see in front of you is really the whole of Whitebrook's racing string. We have a nice crop of yearlings waiting to be noticed, but these are all of our quality runners."

Cindy let out a breath and smiled at her father. "I'd love to help Josie exercise these guys," she said, realizing that working with these animals would be a short-lived privilege once Ashleigh showed up.

"She'd love the help, I'm sure," her father nodded. "I like to work them in pairs as often as I can, and if your work load for Lucas isn't too busy…"

"I'll be here tomorrow," Cindy nodded enthusiastically. "Between Lucas' horses, I can help Josie out."

"Great," Ian said. "Speaking of Josie," he said, looking at his watch. "Let's find her and get out of here. An early dinner sounds great to me."

"You have no idea," Cindy nodded, following her father out of the stable, glancing behind her quickly and smiling.

The next week Cindy spent every morning bouncing back and forth between Lucas' horses and her fathers' runners. She always started off her mornings with a few of Lucas' allowance and claiming horses before skipping to Whitebrook's two-year-olds. Then she was back to ride her regulars for Lucas, including Silvan, Wonderment, and Sunday. She finished off each morning with the rest of Whitebrook's horses, and usually a ride on Kingfisher, who was becoming one of her clear favorites. The huge chestnut had a perfect stride, and he was so big that it truly felt like Cindy was on top of the world when she rode him.

Just days before the Vosburgh, Cindy cantered Kingfisher down the track. Her orders were to warm him up and breeze him five furlongs out of the gate, and she was excited about the prospect of finally feeling how fast the colt could go.

As they approached the practice gate, Kingfisher snorted and pricked his ears, dropping into a showy trot. Josie was already waiting with Zero Hour, the other three-year-old dancing on his toes and tossing his head, making it hard for the Whitebrook assistant to hold onto him.

Cindy tugged lightly on Kingfisher's reins, signaling the colt to a halt. The chestnut rolled to a perfect standstill and arched his neck dramatically, waiting for the more wound up gray to enter the gate. Cindy patted the chestnut's neck and ran her hand down his mane, combing out a few wild tresses as Zero Hour walked into the gate easily on his second try. Then it was their turn.

Kingfisher walked forward and entered the gate, pricking his ears at the track ahead of them. Cindy tugged her goggles down and clutched at the colt's mane, jumping with the colt as the doors sprang open.

Kingfisher plunged, his white-marked legs leaping out and digging into the ground. Zero Hour sped away from the gate, and Cindy angled Kingfisher in after the gray, remember her father's advice that Kingfisher never broke sharp enough to fly to the front, and to let him hang back on Zero's flank. She settled the chestnut where her father had advised and let the colt roll.

The white fence on their inside was flying by, and the sounds of the two horses hitting the ground with their hooves and huffing with exertion filled the air. Cindy hovered over Kingfisher's withers, letting the colt's amber mane slap her cheeks. The big chestnut barely needed encouragement, but as they passed by the third marker and were halfway down the third furlong, she began to scrub a little at the colt's neck. Kingfisher's response thrilled her.

In one instant, they had pulled up next to Zero Hour. Josie looked a little surprised to see the huge chestnut next to them so quickly, so she pushed on the gray, getting Zero's attention and making a race of it. Then Kingfisher switched leads and fully extended, showing off his ground-sweeping stride. Zero switched strides as well, digging in next to the rail as Cindy scrubbed again at Kingfisher's neck, asking for more. The colt had reserves in spades.

They bounded past the last marker a half-length in front, and Cindy rose in the saddle with a huge grin on her face, looking behind her as Josie came even again with Zero Hour and stood in the stirrups, smiling.

"He likes you," Josie called out to Cindy as they galloped out the last furlong together, both colts streaked with sweat and eyeing each other.

"How can you tell?" Cindy asked, tugging Kingfisher down to a trot, posting in the saddle.

"Because he's being a prince," Josie said, bringing Zero down to a trot as well. "He rarely listens to anyone he doesn't take a liking to."

Cindy laughed, and patted Kingfisher fondly on the neck as the girls turned and headed to the gap. "Well, I have a feeling that I like him also."

Kingfisher snorted and shook his mane, accepting all the praise as he floated back to the gap on his long, solid legs.

The rest of the day, Cindy spent her time in Lucas' shed row giving Sunday Punch and Wonderment some extra attention. The colts had been training perfectly, and Cindy was excited about their upcoming races. Wonderment was being pointed to the Champagne in the beginning of October, and Sunday was set to run in the Vosburgh.

Cindy walked with Sunday down to the sand pit, smiling as the colt danced on his toes and shook his dark mane. The sand pit was one of Sunday's favorite activities, and Cindy intended to give him plenty of time to roll around.

"Cindy!" she heard someone coming up to her as she walked. She had to look over Sunday's neck to see who it was, and when she saw Sarah jogging up to her she had to steel herself.

"Hey," Cindy said, stopping the colt by the sand pit and letting him loose inside. Sunday let loose a happy whinny and immediately dropped to his knees in the deep sand, rolling over on his side.

"I wanted to catch you before you left the track," Sarah said with a smile.

"You caught me," Cindy said, resting Sunday's halter and lead shank on top of the solid fence as she watched Sunday roll happily in the sand.

"Do you know about the dinner tomorrow night?" Sarah asked, and when Cindy gave her a blank look she smiled. "Oh, good. I can tell you about it then."

"What dinner?" Cindy asked, frowning softly as she forced herself to look Sarah in the eye.

"A bunch of people are going to Carson's tomorrow around eight," she said. "I know it's a ritzy place, but everyone wanted to go there. I already asked Laura and she said she'd love to go. So, if you're free…"

"Sure," Cindy said quickly, smiling. "I'd love to go to dinner."

"Great," Sarah smiled, and Cindy turned back to Sunday, watching the gray colt thrash around in the sand and wishing she didn't have to feel so strange.

The next night, Cindy walked into Carson's with Ryan and Laura. Her hair was a mess of twisting curls and her heart was pounding underneath the gorgeous black dress she had found for a price she couldn't turn down. She didn't know what she was going to find when she walked into the private dining room in the back of the restaurant. As she walked through the sea of tables and richly dressed people used to the finer things in life, Cindy knew that it would only be a few hours of her life. She would walk away from this feeling wonderful, or that was at least what Laura had drilled into her head for the past day.

When they walked into the dinning room, Cindy thought she was going to faint. There were several tables dotting the room, and each was large enough to comfortably fit eight people. It almost looked like a miniature Eclipse Awards, and Cindy half expected there to be a podium and stage for speakers.

"There's Jack and Sarah," Laura pointed out to a nearly full table. Cindy spotted the three empty chairs and nodded.

"Looks fine to me," she said as Sarah noticed them and waved.

As they approached, Cindy hung back and took the last seat available, which also was the one furthest from Jack. She slid into her seat and noticed Jack watching her calmly, his dark blue eyes catching on her and refusing to move. Cindy smiled at him and settled, jumping when the waiter appeared asking for drink orders. Everyone at the table agreed to split two bottles of wine.

"Who are these horses I see you riding all the time in the mornings," Sarah asked Cindy from across the table, starting off conversation. "They aren't Lucas'."  
"Sure as hell aren't," Lucas laughed next to Sarah. "But I'll let Cin answer that."

Cindy smiled at him, and then looked at Sarah. "My father trains those horses," she said. "He's the head trainer for Whitebrook Farm, who owns them."

"Oh, you did ride for Whitebrook," Sarah nodded. "I remember that now. I spotted you on a gorgeous horse a couple of days ago. A huge chestnut."

"That's Kingfisher," Cindy said, smiling.

"Kingfisher?" Jack asked.

"He's by Mr. Wonderful, out of a Jazzman mare," Cindy said, surprised Jack had asked anything. "He's three, although he barely raced this year due to some feet problems."

"Nice bloodlines," Ryan said. "Shame about the feet. Whitebrook had a winner recently, though. Eloquent won the Gazelle."

Cindy only nodded. "She's headed to the Distaff."

"Thank God none of us have a horse headed to the Distaff," Lucas chuckled. "She whipped that field."

From there the conversation flew, and the night went along with it. Cindy drank two glasses of wine, and barely felt light headed at the end of the evening. She had been too busy talking to really focus on drinking, or even eating whatever small amount of amazingly expensive food was placed in front of her. Oddly, she talked with Sarah the most and it had been so easy to forget about the past few weeks. Whenever she looked at Jack, she didn't blush or quickly look away. She could laugh with him and talk like they had when they had just met, and that astonished her more than anything.

By the time the night wound to a close everyone stood outside waiting for their cars to arrive. Jack's Jaguar appeared first, and just before it came to a stop in front of them Cindy got an unexpected hug from Sarah.

"You and I are going to be great friends," Sarah laughed. "Can't you just feel it?"

Cindy nodded and admitted to herself that she could feel that. She watched Sarah and Jack walk away from her, and smiled when Sarah turned to wave goodbye before she slipped into Jack's Jaguar. Cindy waved back and took a deep breath.

"I'm shocked," Laura said as the Jaguar disappeared down the street.

"So am I," Cindy nodded as Ryan's car was pulled up by the valet. "But, you know, it doesn't feel weird."

Laura grinned and opened her door before the valet could get there. "Didn't I tell you that you'd feel better after tonight?"

"You did," Cindy nodded. "And I didn't believe you."

"Well, it goes to show you," Laura laughed, climbing inside and shutting the door.

"It certainly does," Cindy murmured, before she slipped into the backseat and slammed the door shut.


	17. Chapter 17

17.

"Hey, good job," Cindy called to her cousin as Josie walked into the jockey's room, her blue and white silks splattered with mud. Josie shrugged, and wiped at the mud on her face with the back of her hand. She had just come back from riding Zero Hour to a third place finish in the Jerome, a Grade Two handicap. The colt had stumbled at the start, been shuffled back behind horses, boxed in on the rail, and gone six wide in the homestretch just to make up enough ground to finish a fading third.

"What I need right now is a shower," Josie announced, tugging her dark blond hair out of its braid and frowning at her dirty hands.

"Are you done for the day?" Sarah asked as she tugged at her white and red silks, the colors of Only Man's owners.

"Yes," Josie said. "But I'm going to try and get myself cleaned up in time to watch the Vosburgh from the stands."

"Better be quick," Cindy said, securing the rubber bands around her wrists and going back to her duffel bag to find her crop and goggles. "I'm about to get out of here and weigh in."

"Same here," Laura announced, kicking her bag under the bench and bending to fix something on her boot. Laura had been put up on Lewis' The Sacred, a reformed juvenile phenomenon who was supposed to make it to the Kentucky Derby before it became clear he couldn't go further than a mile. The Vosburgh, at seven furlongs, was becoming the colt's preferred distance.

"I'll hurry then," Josie nodded, already ripping off her silks and sprinting for the showers.

"You guys ready?" Sarah called from the door, which she had propped open just wide enough to see the rest of the male jockeys walking past, a few peeping inside the women's jockey room curiously. Sarah snaked a hand out and slapped one jock playfully on the arm, warning him.

"Nothing I ain't seen before," Cindy heard a distinctive Spanish accent, and she laughed.

"Yes, I'm ready," she nodded, following Sarah out the door with Laura.

By the time they made it into the paddock, Cindy frowned up at the brewing storm clouds. It wasn't raining so much as threatening. The rain had stopped mid-morning, leaving the track a sloppy mess. Efforts to dry it out had only ended with a moderately good racing surface, but that hardly bothered Cindy. Sunday Punch had put in effortless performances in the mud, so as she watched the colt walk calmly around the paddock with his groom she only smiled. Sunday Punch was going off at six to one, the third favorite, and if things turned out the way Cindy wanted them to the colt would make a nice payoff. She had already asked Sunday's owners to put in a bet for her, ten dollars to win, and she had a feeling that wasn't a losing ticket.

"Hey there, girl," she heard Lucas from the five stall and veered off to talk to him after waving goodbye to Laura and Sarah.

"Hi," Cindy smiled, slipping out of the way as Sunday was led into his stall, his damp body rock solid and quiet for Lucas to tack up.

"Are we all clear on the plan?" Lucas asked, spreading the colt's saddlecloth over his back before going for the pad and saddle. "He slowed considerably coming to the wire last time out."

"I got the plan," Cindy said, turning away to look down the crowded row of horses, grooms, trainers, owners, and any one else that seemed to believe they needed to be walking around in the stalls. Streamline's head could be seen poking out from the one stall, the gold and green blinkers on his head flashing in the dim light. When she saw David Hernon walking around the colt to check the equipment she immediately drew in a breath.

"What the hell is David doing?" she asked, swinging back around to look at Lucas.

"What?" Lucas asked, tightening the overgirth and giving Cindy a frown.

"David is saddling up Streamline," she said slowly.

"Did you not hear about that?" Lucas asked with some muted astonishment.

"No," Cindy said. "I haven't really been keeping up with David as of late."

"Well," Lucas said, patting Sunday on the flank and motioning for the groom to lead him out again. Sunday walked back out onto the paddock with several other horses in the race, letting the bettors get a good look at him with all his equipment on.

"Well what?" Cindy asked impatiently, watching Streamline walk past. The chestnut Townsend horse looked gorgeous in the glittering gold and green, but Cindy was more focused on the colt's new trainer.

"Townsend Jr. has been toying around with the idea of keeping a string of horses up in New York for a while now," Lucas said, watching Brad and Lavinia Townsend mingling in the paddock with the other owners. Cindy snorted a laugh as Lucas' name for Brad, wondering if calling the rich heir anything other than his name had become that universal.

"He's been calling New York trainers," Lucas shrugged. "I turned him down, Lewis turned him down, but Hernon didn't."

"Why Hernon of all people?" Cindy asked, knowing the answer to her own question after she said it. Hernon would appeal to Brad. The two had the same mind set.

"I guess the young Townsend met Hernon up at Saratoga this year," Lucas shrugged. "Hernon has wanted to find an owner for a while now, and picking up a huge string like the Townsend New York string would be a feather in his cap."

"How many horses are we talking about?" Cindy asked, frowning.

"Hell," Lucas frowned. "One of the main reasons I turned the man down was because of the size of his string. I don't have the room in any New York track, or any track, to handle the Townsends and the rest of my owners. If I took the Townsend string, I would only have time for the Townsend string. I don't want that sort of insecurity. Nor would I want my job in the hands of Townsend Jr."

Cindy snorted. Lucas depended on a variety of owners in his stable. If one pulled out, he could easily find another and keep rolling with the horses he had. Lucas certainly had enough horses and owners spread across the country. The sheer size of Townsend Acres would demand that Lucas almost become a private trainer, and Cindy knew Lucas would never do such a thing.

"So we're going to see a lot of David Hernon," Cindy assumed.

"Belmont, Aqueduct, and Saratoga," Lucas said, clapping a hand on her good shoulder and squeezing gently. "Don't let it bother you, Cin."

"I have no intention of letting it bother me," Cindy said decisively.

"Are we ready to get this show on the road, or what?" Jack asked as he walked into the stall, looking clean and gorgeous like he always did for races. Cindy's eyes caught on him briefly before she had to glance back out at the walkway. She could see that paddock judge fiddling with his clipboard and eyeing the horses, checking his watch once too often.

"The show has been on the road," Lucas returned. "Where have you been?"

"Checking out the scenery," Jack responded as Sunday Punch was led back into the stall. It was about that time, and when the jockeys were called to mount Cindy was already being tossed up onto Sunday's back.

Jack let go of Cindy's leg and took a step back, looking up at her as she settled and found the time to glance back. Sunday snorted and shifted underneath her, his muscles bunching nervously under the saddle.

"Good luck, Cin," he said, and she smiled at him. She had barely seen him all day, but she did not mind that. She could not mind that, and so far Cindy was determined to keep her newly developed attitude maintained perfectly. The smile slowly diminished on his face, his dark blue eyes stuck on her, and she turned away quickly as Sunday grunted impatiently. The line of horses was moving out, and Sunday's groom was walking forward to join them. Cindy glanced back as they walked away, catching again on Jack as he watched her disappear around the large, tangled trees in the paddock.

Cindy cursed as she turned back around, getting the groom's attention.

"Nothing," she shook her head quickly, sighing. Staying determined and maintained was going to be harder than she thought.

When the horses set foot on the track, it wasn't loud or overwhelming. It was another stakes day at Belmont Park, and the crowd of thirty thousand was packed along the rail but spaced out up into the grandstand. There were empty spaces and virtually no electric current like those Cindy had felt at huge, publicly known race days like the Derby and the Breeders' Cup. This day, highlighted by the Jerome and the Vosburgh, was ultimately forgettable to most. However, Cindy thought to herself, today would be important for the Breeders' Cup. The outcome of this race would hold sway on the next, no matter the crowd at the rail.

Cindy sat silently in the saddle, looking forward as the line of horses walked and pranced in front of the grandstand. Streamline was leading the way, all green, gold, and red. Behind him were the rest of the big New York sprinting names. High Fever Blues and Brokenhearted walked without noticing the people at the rail. Aviator, a big bay, crabwalked along in front of Cindy with his outrider, nipping viciously at the leather protecting the pony's neck. Sunday Punch trudged through the wet muck, his dark gray coat the most distinctive in the field. Cindy patted his neck and rose up in the stirrups as they rolled into a canter, warming up to the gate that was sitting in the backstretch. Only Man and The Sacred warmed up behind her, the line losing its formation to gallop slowly up the first turn.

When the horses approached the gate, Cindy slowed Sunday Punch and milled quietly as they waited for the first four to load. When it was their turn, Sunday stepped forward and slid into the metal chute, pricking his ears curiously at the long stretch of track before them.

Cindy didn't glance to her right as Only Man bumped in the gate next to them. She only pulled down her goggles and slipped her fingers through Sunday's multi toned mane. As soon as The Sacred entered his stall, the gates burst open and Cindy was on Sunday to move forward fast before the field could close in around them. The lithe gray dug in and sprinted to the lead, his head bobbing quickly with each stride that carried him to the front.

Angled in to the rail, Cindy didn't have time to celebrate her first victory. Already Only Man was pressuring her from the outside. She could feel the presence of Streamline behind her, both colts advancing to enter an early speed duel that was meant to exhaust Sunday, ultimately leaving him in the dust. Cindy eased off the colt, remembering that he had trained perfectly at Belmont. There was no need to push him yet.

Sunday Punch ran confidently on the lead, his ears pricked back as he listened to Cindy and the loud noises of the horses behind him. Cindy smiled softly, glad to feel the colt's sure stride underneath her. Sunday knew what he was doing. It was only a matter of time.

The field rolled into and out of the far turn, changes in the field occurring faster than Cindy had expected. Only Man and Streamline were not falling back. The three leaders were only going faster as The Sacred suddenly appeared in a fury of dark bay and white. His striking head entering Cindy's field of vision as she began to scrub on Sunday's neck, getting his attention.

The gray switched leads and plunged just ahead of the rest of the pack, keeping his neck in front of Only Man as they raced down the stretch. Cindy pulled out her crop and swung it back to slap the colt on the flank twice before swinging it in her hand again, flipping it by the colt's eye in encouragement. It took several more hits by the crop to convince Sunday that the race wasn't finished, but it was the pressure of the other horses that kept Sunday running and straining to stay in the lead.

When the wire slipped overhead Sunday Punch had been in front by a nose. The difference between The Sacred and Only Man must have been inches, since Cindy did not know who would place and show. She only rose in the saddle and slapped Sunday's neck happily, letting the colt roll down the slippery track before turning him back to the winner's circle.

Later that day Cindy stood inside the main training barn of Lucas' preferred training stable, Owl Hollow Farm, which was situated far outside the crush of the city and secluded in the low hills of rural New York. Cindy stood just inside the aisle, watching the rain pour down. It had started raining almost an hour after the Vosburgh, and after Cindy had volunteered to help settle Lucas' five new yearlings that were due to arrive any moment.

There were already several other yearlings Lucas had taken on from the Keeneland July sale, when most of the bluegrass Thoroughbreds were auctioned off to the highest bidder. The horses coming in this month were September sale graduates, meaning they were less mature and less expensive.

"Hey," she heard Jack's familiar voice and she turned to look at him, giving him a smile. He looked more in his element at the barn, standing before her in boots, jeans, black t-shirt, and coat to keep out the wet cold. His wild dark hair was in disarray and the coarse stubble on his jaw made it appear like he had never attempted to look professional only hours before. Just that simple thought made Cindy smile a little wider.

"Hi," she said, turning away and crossing her arms over her chest, huddling a little in her coat as the breeze picked up and sent a mist of rainwater into the barn. "Wonderful time to be doing this, isn't it?"

"Oh yeah," Jack nodded, watching the rain as the rig came into sight at the farm's gates. Cindy stared down at her boots, wondering how long it would take to smooth out the awkwardness. It was too easy to forget some things, and events were too recent to fade. As much as Cindy had accepted the outcome of all the summer changes, and as much as she wanted normalcy and friendship, just a look from Jack could send her reeling. In the paddock that afternoon he had looked at her like he wanted to haul her off the horse and press her up against a wall, and Cindy shivered at the thought.

She was determined and maintained, she repeated to herself. Determined and maintained.

The rig rumbled up to the barn, and the engine cut off with the lights. The rain continued to pour, splattering onto the hood of the large cab with clinks and clanks.

"Are we ready out here?" she heard Lucas walking down the aisle with a few grooms.

"The rig just got here," Jack said, shifting and watching the driver jump out of the cab, making a run for the barns.

"We've got a problem," the man called, stepping inside the barn.

"Problem?" Cindy asked, as though it were a foreign word.

"One of the horses," the man nodded his head back to the rig. "That Storm Cat colt is a man killer, I'm telling you. We'll have to take him down first."

Just then Cindy could hear a loud thunk of hooves against steel; the rig seemed to whine under the stress of the upset horse within it. She didn't react so much as glance back at Lucas, wondering what the trainer had willingly brought into his barn.

"Right," he said, nodding to the rig. "We'd better open her up and get him out then. Let's go."

Cindy hung back a little, watching the men approach the large van. She watched quietly as they opened the doors and lowered the ramp. She could hear a strangled scream inside and the scrape of hooves against the floor of the rig. Automatically she winced at the noise and she was glad that she didn't have to have a hand in the horse's training. The staff at Owl Hollow would break the colt to saddle and bridle before shipping him to Belmont in the spring.

Jack swung up into the rig with Lucas and an extra groom, disappearing inside the van only to reappear with a very angry yearling. Cindy watched the big dark bay strike at the ramp before he barreled down it, wheeling once he hit the gravel to rear and jump, putting up a grand fight for the people around him. The rain was coming down in sheets, drenching the colt and the men around it as they fought to gain control.

Cindy backpedaled quickly when Jack got the colt to head into the barn. The bay thundered by Cindy, swinging his hindquarters and throwing up his head to yank hard on the people holding him. Turning, Cindy followed the entourage and stopped as they ground to a trembling halt in the middle of the aisle. Jack and Lucas held fast to the colt as one of the grooms braved striping the yearling of his shipping equipment, tugging the wet blanket and shipping boots off before dodging clear of the colt's striking hooves.

They moved the horse into his newly made up stall and left quickly, pulling the stall closed. Once the colt stood in his stall without four humans attached to his head, the fight seemed to leave him immediately. He flicked his ears at his surroundings and heaved a sigh, making a move to inspect his empty feed bin.

"Storm Cat?" Cindy asked, believing it. Some Storm Cats tended to easily inherit the upbeat sire's attitude, and as young horses many were difficult to control. This one didn't seem any different, especially when faced with a challenge.

"Actually," Jack started, shrugging.

"It gets better," Lucas said, chuckling as he ran his hands through his wet, mousy brown hair.

"His dam is Savage Girl," Jack told Cindy, who stared at him quietly, not believing it.

"Cin?" Lucas asked.

"Savage Girl?" Cindy asked, swinging her gaze back to the dark bay, unnamed yearling in front of her. He was big, dark, and marked with three white socks and a narrow stripe down his face. He looked just like any other foal Savage Girl produced.

"This is her fourth foal," Lucas said. "Bought him for Joel Woods."

"Her first foal was a colt," Cindy said. "Argus nearly killed his groom."

"Argus should have been cut," Jack commented, looking at the unnamed yearling who stood watching them, unaware of his Kentucky Derby winning half-brother or his dam's history of throwing crazy offspring.

"Are we going to geld this one?" Cindy asked Lucas.

"Not until it becomes clear he's going to give us problems," Lucas said. "He's dropped already, so the only other reason to geld him would be if he becomes impossible to handle safely."

Cindy frowned, and sighed. Lucas had a stud colt on his hands, and this one was probably going to give them trouble no matter the status of his reproductive system. Cindy only shrugged and looked at Lucas.

"What's Mr. Woods considering for a name?"

Lucas let a wry smile slip up his face. "Halcyon."

Cindy gave him a look and burst into laughter, turning around easily and walking up the aisle, shaking her head. Through her laughter, she glanced over her shoulder, watching Jack and Lucas staring at her curiously.

"Come on, guys," she called, waving for them to follow her. "We've got four other horses to unload. They aren't going to do it by themselves."

With that, Jack only shook his head slowly and shifted forward with Lucas, following Cindy back out into the rain.

Later that afternoon, Cindy parked her car outside of Lucas' barn to grab a few items she had left in Lucas' office. The stable row was quiet and nearly empty as she walked down it, dropping quick kisses on Sunday Punch's forehead and Wonderment's nose. The two colts watched her curiously as she picked up her things off the leather chair in Lucas' office and spun quickly to leave. She had to run home and change before Ashleigh and Ann arrived, since she had promised her father and Josie that she would go out to eat with everyone that night.

She whirled out of the barn and back to her car. As the rain continued to fall, she looked in her rearview mirror and watched another smaller van pull into the Belmont gates and roll through the backside toward the Whitebrook barn. Cindy sat quietly for a moment, considering what she needed to do. She turned her head casually, watching the white horse trailer turn and splash through the puddles, rolling to a halt far down the row of barns and parking by Whitebrook's stable.

Gripping the steering wheel, Cindy listened to the rain hit the roof of her car and roll down the windshield. The van's driver's side door swung open, and Cindy could see Ashleigh jump down to the ground, turning swiftly to slam the door shut and run through the rain around the cab, disappearing into the barn.

Part of Cindy wanted to drive down and help them unload the horses, but she knew sullenly that she would only be in the way.

Quietly, Cindy slid the key into the ignition and turned on the car, listening to the engine turn over. She flicked on the lights and the windshield wipers, looking forward for a long moment before she glanced back at the van. Cindy spotted Ann and Josie running out into the rain to help Ian and Ashleigh with the horses, opening up the trailer and lowering the ramp. She smiled quietly as she watched them back down the gorgeous bay body of Adriatic, followed by the reddish bay Roma. The two heavyweights for Whitebrook pranced uncomfortably in the rain that slapped coldly against their bodies and sank into their coats. Cindy followed them with her eyes as they disappeared into the barn.

Pushing a damp clump of hair behind her air, Cindy frowned at herself and threw her car into reverse, pulling away from Lucas' barn. She turned the steering wheel and went forward, rolling over the gravel of the backside and through the gates of Belmont, heading back into New York.


End file.
